What do you do to get your SO to cheer up when they are feeling down?

[JinxyPinxy]

My SO is stuck in bad mood because he feels like he doesn’t matter to his friends. He’s been telling me how much he feels like he doesn’t matter to most of the people he knows. I’m trying to cheer him up and tell him that he does matter to his friends and everything. It’s also partially my fault because I was taking out my anger on him earlier today because I had a bad day. So, he thought that I was mad at him when I really wasn’t..He is REALLY depressed and I’m trying my best to help him along with it. It’s making me feel miserable knowing that he’s miserable right now. I don’t want him to feel sad since he deserves to be happy, even if he doesn’t think so. I’m reminding him that he deserves to be happy and that people do care about him no matter what he’s thinking. He’s doing the same thing that I do, which is over think everything! I’m trying to help him just like he helps me when I have this problem. I told him to try to keep a positive mindset, just to try a little bit for me. He's now laying down and taking a nap but promised me that he'd try and keep a positive mind.

So, what do you do to get your SO to cheer up when they are feeling down?

[magician13134]

I guess I would have to say it really depends if he's feeling down or struggling with depression. If he really is just feeling down, you'd be amazed how far a little gesture can go, something unexpected. I know money is tight for a lot of people, so it doesn't have to be anything expensive, but if you can buy a few things that you know he enjoys and mail them to him, I'm sure that would help him a lot. Once my girlfriend sent me a box of Captain Crunch in the mail because I complained how bad the dorm breakfast was and I still think it's one of the sweetest things either of us has done If you are sending him something in the mail, also make sure to include a hand written letter and a picture or two.

On the other hand, if he is dealing with depression, getting support from people close by is the only real answer. I've been struggling with that for a few months and there are student depression groups sponsored by my college that help an unbelievable amount. I don't know your situation or his, but a lot of colleges offer free services for people with depression and from a first hand perspective, they work wonders.

Also, I know you want to, but don't feel like you need to solve all of his problems. If he's going through depression, he's going to need more than one person to lean on. It sounds like you're doing that already by reminding him that his friends care about him and that's very important. Good luck

[Haley53]

For me, it depends.

Sometimes it can help immensely having someone there to listen. While I agree that having a support network close by helps, I also think that there's nothing better than having the loving support of your SO behind you. You don't need to say everything. Say what comes to mind, from the heart, if it comes down to it, but sometimes simply listening and saying you hear what he's saying can make a massive impact. I know my SO has commented on that even if I don't always know what to say, the fact I'm there to listen to him when he needs it and comfort him when he needs it means the world.

That said, sometimes it also helps to do something small. Like the above poster mentioned, you could consider sending a small gift. You don't even have to spend money on it! You could do something artistic, even if you're not great at doing art, or make a video in Windows Movie Maker. Record something or take a thoughtful picture with a camera or webcam. Do something thoughtful, from the heart. Surprise him with something.

I have also used the distraction method, though not frequently. Sometimes what one needs is really to have a distraction: phone call, Skype, playing games through something like omgpop.

[jenniferjade]

With my SO, my being completely silly gets him out of a funk. He is such a dork, so anytime I act like one as well, it makes him laugh. I'll sing him a little tune [such as: don't worry, be happy], or I'll change my voice and talk like someone else. A favorite is when I talk like Dori from Finding Nemo! [Hey, Mr. Grumpy Gills!] It works like a charm every single time. Or, if that doesn't work, I simply tell him that his mood is bringing me down and making me just as depressed, and wouldn't he rather be happy with me? Remind him of how much worse things could be and remind him of the things that he has to be grateful for.

Oh, and also, handmade stuff is really cute and really cheers up my SO, too. Like a card, or a cute little list of the top ten things you love about him, etc. Just try to be cutesy and silly and see if that works, because it always works with mine. Hope he cheers up!