Just looking for some advice please =)

[Joshmiller]

Sorry everyone i didn't have alot of time to read over what everyone has posted, But i did skin and seen this by Brieasaurus-

"It's probably just a case of nerves on her side, but I hope you realize that it could possibly be something more than that. It's always possible that she may not be who you think she really is. I know you talk to her a lot and think that you would know whether or not she's lying, but there are some people that are good at lying. I'd suggest watching the movie Catfish, pretty crazy what one lady can lead people to believing she is. That being said, I'd probably be a little more insistent on finding out the main reasons that she doesn't want a visit or to show you herself. "

That is kind of a fear, But we have both agreed that no one is moving till after the meet. After all, we have to make sure everything is as good in person as it is now. She was also the first one to being up meeting, But she had money at the time to do it but her grandfather got sick and that's when she lost her job. She still talks about wanting to as do i. She really just wants to pay her part as far as i can see. She says things like when you come here i'll send you half on gas, ETC. I know the thing with the photo is a bit worrying to me, Because after all you never really do know. But she could just be shy like alot of you have already said. And that's fine.
Sorry and i will get back at the rest of you when i have some more time on my hands.

[Joshmiller]

@ Braz,
"I remember before meeting my girl this January that I had this irrational fear of her being a serial killer or not who she really was. I was SURE she was real and honest, but it was just an irrational fear that there was a chance she was not what she'd been for the 3 years of talking online."

This is in the back of my mind, But i think that is prob in the back of a lot of peoples mind when it comes to this. We spend hours and hours with this person we think we know everything about. And When it comes down to it like Brieasaurus said. We can really never know, some people are really good at lying and thats just how we are. But i don't feel that is the case here. The things we have talked about and everything adds up. I have no suspicion at all that she may not be telling me the truth about anything. I could awlays be wrong here, But i feel like i've finally found a person in this world that is just as caring about other people as i am. Sometimes it's easy to lie but after a year, i really feel that i would of noticed something. And i haven't.

@Kiara "I would be patient with her, online relationships are hard. And she has her insecurities and worries too. She may be shy, and nervous. I know I was, but once you meet those worries go away. Have you asked her when she wants to meet? Does she want to pay for your trip?? If you visit her and stay at a hotel, what does she feel bad for? Maybe really fully discussing everything again. Communication is key. "

I agree Kiara, Online relationships are had. And its nice to have so many people form one that worked out comment on my post. I'm sure she is shy and nervous. I know i am, and it's the one thing i want most is to see her! It's a natural human feeling. We have talked about meeting. And plan to at the latest this summer when school is out. She wants to pay her part as far as the tip goes. I will drive there. She wants to pay half on gas and half on the room we get. I respect her for that. It's shows me she's not after just my money. (I don't have a lot but i do have a bit in the bank just for when we meet, and hopefully for when i move there) She has already told me and has at the start she is not moving here. She hates it here, and so do i to tell the truth and i felt like that before i even knew her. We have good Communication i think, She just tells me that right now she don't have the money for a meet. And she don't want to accept the fact that i will pay for everything. She seems to feel very strong about that. I don't know if that should worry me or just be another reason to love her more. She said once she finds a job and she is trying and i believe her, She cry's about it sometimes saying that she is doing everything she can to find one to help her family and so that we can see each other. She cry's saying she feels like such a loser that cant find a job. I keep telling her not to worry so much about it. Right now it's so hard to find a job. And i know that for a fact. It took me 3 months to find the one i have now and it's shit pay. So with out a lot of work EXP your pretty much stuck with wally world or a fast food joint. And both suck, trust me.

We talked tonight for around 4-5 hours. we had a lot of fun and after talking to her, I'm not sure why I'm even doubting what she tells me. We didn't talk about the Photo thing or meeting. But she said more then once tonight stuff like "well when you get here we will make sure your leg gets better" (I have a bad knee and it hurts from time to time. Her cousin is a Doc and she wants him to take a look at it) And the field she is going into has great health care and she keeps saying that it's going to be all better and we will be able to get it taking care of. It's stuff like that she says that really makes me happy, For one she seems to really care about my problems and she wants to make them better. I just don't see why she would say something like that if she didn't mean it.

After reading what most of you posted, I think i have really found myself a great girl. Maybe a once in a lifetime person that i can spend my life with. I have my worries but you know what, I'm sure she has some too. This is very strange for me. I have never dated someone online before. I've been with different girls for the last 8 years, and never in my life have i felt this way about someone. I feel much better after seeing some post here.. If any of you don't mind, I would like to hear some stories of the doubts you all may of had and what you did to make your self feel better about it. And of course how did it all turn out in the end? That sort of stuff helps me.. I'm going to tell her about this website so that she can come here, and reed about some stuff. Because if i feel this way I'm guessing that she does too, Over some things anyway. I would like to know how all of you were able to deal with your own insecurities and what they where. I really think that is one of my problems, i have my own insecurities that im just thinking to much about!!


Again, Thanks to all of you.

and I'm sorry i suck at writing! lol

[Engel]

Sorry for the confusion Obi is my husband, who I never used to send photos to!

LDRs can and do work Welcome to the forums.

zephii when did you get married? did i miss the post? congratulations anyway!!!

[Joshmiller]

So today is one of "Thoes" days. kind of feel like crap for some reason, and nothing as went wrong or anything. Just the crappy feeling in the belly while at work thinking about her. =/

[brazil]

I know the feel.

[Joshmiller]

Yeah it is a crappy feeling for sure! what have you found that takes your mind off the distance?

[BabyDimples]

I read your other thread, and after looking at this one, maybe SHE has some worries about YOU. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, but maybe she doesn't completely trust who you are. There's loads of relationships that work when the couple has met online, but the horrible truth is, is that some end with young girls being raped, murdered, sold into slavery etc. I'm not saying that she doesn't trust you, but maybe she has had a close encounter before? Maybe someone has said something to her that has got her thinking? Maybe she just takes longer to trust than you'd think. Talk to her and ask her about it