SO sabotaging weightloss

[meg]

Everytime my boyfriend visits, all the good work I've done with losing weight goes out the window. I can't complain really, I can't say no to him when we go shopping and he picks up things I'm not really allowed to eat.

So far I've lost 2 stone (uh...dunno what that is in american-measurements...28 pounds, I guess?) but everytime he visits, about once a month for a week, I put on 1-2 pounds, and it takes me the week after to get back into the swing of things, and ussually lose no weight that week either, or have a small loss.

Can't complain really, he doesn't force-feed me the food. We just tend to go out to places with non-healthy options.

Anyone else find this?

[snow_girl]

Eat in more when he comes to visit? Spend the evening cooking together. Can be fun and more healthy then eating out.

[Haley53]

I agree with snow_girl.

Also, I would consider looking for healthier options. Even somewhere like a Taco Bell or McDonalds will have options that may not be healthy, but you don't need to eat the quarter pounder and large fry with a drink every time. When you both go shopping, why not slip some fruit in? Or some veggies? There should be nothing wrong with asking him if you can pick up some snacks for you. You could also consider working food into your budget. Bring some money with you on your visits so that you can go grocery shopping and buy your own healthier foods. As far as eating out, fast food or otherwise, it's a matter of self-control, really. Balance out your indulgance foods with your healthy ones.

As for me, I actually tend to lose weight on holiday, primarily because I end up doing a lot more walking/activity and I also cut a lot out of my diet, like soda or particularly fatty foods, and my appetite decreases due to homesicknesses. I think it's normal for most people to gain weight on a trip though. I think I'm just weird because I use my holidays as excuses to start drinking more water/cut out soda almost completely and eat healthier than I currently am able to at home due to issues with resources/transport.

[Dennisb09]

more than likely most of what you are putting on is water weight... if its really that big of an issue then talk to him about it...


what it comes down to is he isnt putting the food in your mouth. You are. The hardest part about losing weight is taking on the responsibility and being accountable for your own actions. and staying disciplined.

[meg]

I try and stick to it as much as possible, but we cook our own food 9/10, and a lot of the food he wants to cook or bake isn't exactly diet food. Can't say no to him because I love cooking with him.

It's not a massive issue, I just wanted to know if anyone finds a similar issue when their SO visits.

[Rach321]

We moved in together 7 months ago, and I put on all the weight I had worked to lose over the previous year within a few months. Like you, I didn't make the best choices because he eats SOOO much more than me without gaining weight, and it was hard for him to understand why I wasn't eating more and would encourage me to eat more than I normally would. Not in a way that he was telling me I had to eat more, but instead offering me seconds, bringing me home snacks, or encouraging me to have a snack. Because I love food, and it's easy for me to overeat, the weight gain was pretty quick. When it was just me, it was a bit easier to make a smaller amount of food or avoid getting seconds. It's taken awhile to learn to recognize when I've had enough and tell him that.

Even today, he is still surprised at how little I eat compared to him. Yesterday, I made a healthy bean soup and had a bowl that was half the size of his. I felt satisfied after my serving, but he was still hungry, and asked if I wanted more. I wasn't completely full, so I could have had more, but I let him know that I would wait a bit and see if I wanted more later, and he heard me. So, to answer your question, yes, it happens to others, and it's something to try to be aware of and move toward making better choices. Good luck!

[Dziubka]

I used to have this problem as well.
But the last few visits, I've been teaching him to cook. He's about to move out of his parents' and in with me, but in half a year he's going to live on his own and he'll need to know how to cook. I love cooking and my boyfriend has been trying to eat more healthily anyway. So that his worked out quite well and I haven't gained any weight. Plus we do a lot of walking or sight seeing together, which also helps.

I can't wait until he lives here. I HATE cooking when I'm alone, because I don't have a freezer and I almost always end up eating more than I need AND throwing left overs away. I can't use half a can of something because the rest will go bad, but if I use all of it it's too much. Also most shops don't sell loose vegetables, only packed and I never finish 2kg of carrots or whatever. It's so much easier to cook for two people.

[Haley53]

What if you both took turns preparing recipes? There seems to be a misconception that healthy food has to be all green food or it can't taste good, but there are a lot of healthy recipes or alternatives that taste as good, and sometimes better, than the not-so-healthy stuff. One example of that is breaded chicken. Typically, you fry the chicken in oil, but when we make breaded chicken at home, we bake it as opposed to frying it. You can also substitute full-fat, salted butter with margerine. Low-fat cheese isn't as tasty as the full-fat cheese, but it's not as bad. Using substitions where you can would make the meals you cook even a little bit healthier, and if you traded off introducing one another to foods (him with his unhealthier food and you with your healthy but still yummy food), it would help cut back on the unhealthy food that's making its way into your diet.

[floridaellen]

I have the same issue. My SO wants to be a chef so he likes to test out his recipes on me. They are so delicious that I end up eating way too much! No real advice, just wanted to let you know you are not alone!

[nicole]

Me and my SO tend to go into "comfort mode" when together, and eat all our favourite foods... which more often then not seem to be bad for us lol To combat this we have been trying to control our portions, and now we're closing the distance wednesday, we've both got a gym membership and it will encourage each other to go if we are both going.

Maybe if you know you're going to eat a meal that is bad for you, plan to do activities during the day which are more strenuous? Like go for a walk in the countryside or if there's a rollerskating/ice-skating place nearby? Or even just try to make diet meals with him? I've scanned a lot of my Mum's Slimming World books; one of my SO's favourite meals is a Slimming World recipe.

[Trethsparr]

We moved in together 7 months ago, and I put on all the weight I had worked to lose over the previous year within a few months. Like you, I didn't make the best choices because he eats SOOO much more than me without gaining weight, and it was hard for him to understand why I wasn't eating more and would encourage me to eat more than I normally would. Not in a way that he was telling me I had to eat more, but instead offering me seconds, bringing me home snacks, or encouraging me to have a snack. Because I love food, and it's easy for me to overeat, the weight gain was pretty quick. When it was just me, it was a bit easier to make a smaller amount of food or avoid getting seconds. It's taken awhile to learn to recognize when I've had enough and tell him that.

I feel like I could have posted this paragraph myself. My husband has a very fast metabolism (I, sadly, do not), so even at his worst eating habits, his weight fluctuates 5-10 pounds either way. I, on the other hand, could probably continue to pile it on indefinitely.

A few things I'm trying to do to get a handle on this are: cooking more healthy meals at home, purchasing my own healthier snacks (so that I have something to reach for when he inevitably eats his), and meeting with a support group to keep myself mentally on-track. I've started trying to write down the foods that I'm eating to help me see what I'm putting into my body and avoiding going back for "seconds" when I eat. I also try to drink more water when I eat -- a tip that used to work for me in the past was to drink a full glass of water before my meal to help me feel fuller quicker.

It's tough, though, I understand. My SO just doesn't understand my struggle, even though he tries, because it's nothing he's personally had to deal with. Like floridaellen said, you are not alone!

[yaz722]

Yes.

Every. Single. Visit.

And I get so mad at myself.

[meg]

I'm so glad I'm not alone! I'm not mad at HIM, I'm more mad at myself for falling off the diet wagon. I think with our SO's we like to comfort eat and go into a little happy coccoon with them.

[dglynn77]

Kind of the same thing happens to me! I try not to eat late at night, but it seems like when my SO and I are together we don't go out to dinner until late.
I was kind of stressing about it, but I decided to just enjoy spending the time with him, and work extra hard once we're about again. Maybe not the best plan, but it's the only one i have so far lol

---------- Post added at 08:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:15 PM ----------

Kind of the same thing happens to me! I try not to eat late at night, but it seems like when my SO and I are together we don't go out to dinner until late.
I was kind of stressing about it, but I decided to just enjoy spending the time with him, and work extra hard once we're apart again. Maybe not the best plan, but it's the only one i have so far lol

[Zephii]

I generally don't activly try to lose weight, but I do notice it's a little harder to keep disciplined around my SO. Sometimes he will keep trying to feed me/tempt me when I'm full, but that usually ends badly and he's learning not to do it. It actually really makes me angry, because 1) I feel disrespected and 2) the ass I was with before Obi never allowed me to lose weight, he wanted me to be chubby. (He said it was so no one else would want me, and because if he made me fat enough eventually I'd grow boobs. What a wanker.)

We have different culture with food though. Australian's (compared to north Americans anyway) are very health concious, and tend to have smaller servings (if you ever visit, you'll notice that our McDonalds large is America's regular haha). There are some things Obi thinks are acceptable that I would never dream of doing, like his family will serve you chips (not fries, crisps) beside your hotdog at dinner. Hotdogs and hamburgers are considered normal meal foods rather than treats too. Kraft dinner is considered one of Canada's national foods. They dip their seafood in melted butter, even! Can I get a side serve of heart disease with that please? Haha. So often I (or we if we're cooking together) will simply cook two different meals. It's not that much trouble if I'm already in the kitchen.

It is something you kind of have to get a handle on though because eventually you're not long distance anymore, and there isn't a period of respite where you can work extra hard to catch up.