Sorry, I'm a letdown

[Malaga]

How could anyone consider you a letdown? You had the strength and courage to do what was best for you both. I stayed in a doomed relationship for far too many years because I didn't have that in me. I don't think it's true that love comes first at any cost - when the cost is too high, long term it only causes resentment, and resentment kills love. You were wise enough, as always, to realise that and make a painful decision but the one that was right for both of you.

I wish you all the best. If there is anything I can do for you, drop me a line.

xx

[lademoiselle]

Oh honey, I'm so sorry. Please, please let go of the erroneous notion that you've let anybody down though because nothing could be further from the truth. As the others have quite rightly said, it takes a brave person indeed to face up to the fact that something which is really important to them simply isn't going to work out in the long run. Although it isn't much consolation right now, you'll be saving yourselves a lot of heartache down the line by acknowledging that truth sooner rather than later. You don't have anything whatsoever to apologise for; I think you've shown great courage and dignity, and I do hope that life begins to look up for you again very soon. Wishing you all the best

[sardonis]

I'm sorry that was a choice that had to be made, but your thread is helping me next... I'm about to let mine go as well and am piggybacking on the encouragement here, because as much as I know it's not the case, I feel as if I've failed, but know that it's not always in ones own hands to alter the fate of your relationships. Sometimes life, happenstance, and the other person make it too hard.

[Lilly9886]

I'm so sorry to hear that! As the others said, just because of a break-up you are not a letdown to anyone! Not to yourself, your family, your friends or the people here!
You did what's best for you and your future!!!
I wish you can change how you feel about being a failure, because you are not!

All the best for you!

[Larvitar]

I'm really sorry but be sure that if you have made that decision it is because is the right one for you.

You are super strong, I have been thinking about breaking up with my bf for months and I still haven't figure it out what to do...

[NYlovesFL]

Girl, you are not a let down and never think that about yourself.
You were dealt a very hard decision that many of us have to go through.
Honey, I am going through it now...I don't see myself moving from my home state to some place my SO isn't even happy in.
Breaking up is hard no matter what the situation is but, remember you are a strong woman that can over come this with time and healing.
Remember things happen for a reason whether we like it or not but, there is a plan out there for us and you will soon see that.
I wish you the best in everything you do!!! If you ever need to talk let me know!!!

Hang in there, things will be better in time!!

[MissButterfly]

I'm very sorry to hear this, but like everyone has said: you haven't let anyone down! I can't imagine how difficult this decision must have been, you're very strong. I wish you all the best! *hugs*

[digitalfever]

I'm very sorry to hear this and send out a virtual hug your way. But you are totally not a let down don't even think that. You are strong and you'll get through this.

[Jassy_love]

I really hope you feel better! & always keep your head up!

[SDPersona]

I'm very sorry to hear the news. but don't be too hard on yourself, you're definitely NOT a let down! What you both did was making a decision based on circumstances and nobody is at fault for that. Not you , not your ex. It was hard yes, but if you felt it was right this way, then that's right. You are hurting right now, will be for a while, but it'll pass. hang in there!!

[Jezah]

I am so sad to read this, and I am so sorry you had to make what I am sure was a terrible decision.

You are not a failure, I am 25 and dated the same man for 4 years before I finally realized I didn't love him. Afterwards I felt like a failure until I realized one key fact, nothing in life is a failure if you learn something from it. I learned what love really was in that relationship, and what it wasn't. Maybe it took me a while to get it, but I still learned it. Just take this as a step in your life, a few years down the line you may look back and say "Well that really hurt, but if I hadn't gone through it I wouldn't know what I know now".

I also leave you with two sayings that always touched my heart in the hardest of times. 1. It is always darkest before the stars come out and 2. If you love something let it go, if it comes back it is yours if it doesn't it never was.

((Hugs))

[Joyce:)]

Thanks for your support, i really appreciated that you took the time to reply. I'm still going to america this easter, since i had already booked the flights, and i will be staying with my host family from my exchange year, but i will still see my (ex) SO at some point. I'm not sure it's the right decision for me to go anyway, but i still care about him, i still love him and i feel like i may need some closure, whatever that may be.
it will be awkward though

[Adora]

sorry to hear this, you are MOST DEF not a let down, you did what you had to do for you and I'm sure your decision was by no means easy. It may be awkward when you see your SO again but focus on all the good times you both shared, and if you can (sometimes it can be hard to) remain friends. Sending you hugs and kind thoughts xxx

[marbear31]

What everyone else has said. Much love, and much hugs. <3 I commend you for your integrity and strength.

I just want to address your upcoming visit. I think it's smart for you to go, and I think it might be beneficial for complete closure. I can only imagine how hard it would be to just end something without seeing them in person, so, again much kudos for your discretion and strength. However, since you'll have an extended period of time to see him, I'd take a day to just really sit down with him, and make sure you have completely exhausted all options about building a future together. Take the time over these next couple of months for self-exploration, and make sure you're completely okay with this, because I just remember how cute you were on this forum, so I can only imagine how sweet it was in real life. Ending a relationship is huge, and you definitely made the right decision, but things can change--and, hey, maybe it's the romantic in me, but I just hope you're as happy as you can possibly be in life.

Best of luck, dear, and I'm here if you need to talk!! Much love!