Hello everyone! First post, and I will first take it to introduce myself. My name is Hollie, I live in the US. I am 21 years old, and in my first year of college to become a graphic designer. I live out on my own(ish) with two other roommates, and am making life work one step at a time. I am in a long distance relationship with a wonderful man who happens to live 1,000 miles away from me in Toronto, Canada. (Insert sad face here.) We've been together for going on nine months now, and though we've had our share of ups and downs, it's still been the best nine months I could say I've ever had in my entire life.
However, as of the last couple months or so, things have hit a somewhat low point and it's left me rather restless. I'll try and make this as short and sweet as possible, all the while getting to the point...
My boyfriend is the type who needs to work (as in, having a job) to totally feel accomplished in life. He feels somewhat useless and kind of like a bump on a log if he's not working and putting his mind to something, which is completely understandable because I'm exactly the same way. (No money means none of those expensive international flights across country borders, though I'm lucky it's just Canada!) He lives with a somewhat pushy father, who always badgers him about finding a job and puts him under pressure if he doesn't, even when my SO is doing everything in his power to find a job. (He just recently ended his contract with a temporary position at a local clothing store. He got his hopes up when management made it sound like he was going to stay, but ended up being let go anyways.) Needless to say, his lack of being able to find a job in this economy has been beginning to stress him out... And with stress on him comes stress on our relationship.
Here's where I come in. Because I am understanding and concerned about my boyfriend, I tend to leave the subject alone and let him do what makes him feel better, which is well... PC gaming. MMORPGs. The dreaded six letter acronym! (I actually love gaming, hah.) Getting immersed in games is his way to distract himself from doing nothing, and it keeps his mind going and distracts him from the constant pestering and pressure coming from his father, who is just... Intolerable to say the least. However... Just recently, things have gotten rather bad in the 'distraction' factor.
Long story short, my boyfriend is becoming so distracted by this one game (that I introduced him to... Oops), that he takes eons, and I mean eons to respond back to any texts or anything I send him. My last text to him was at 5:15... It is now 8:13. Normally I let it slide, but it's been becoming absolutely crazy as of the last couple months since he's been let go of his last job. I have to somewhat pester him to get a response back because he flat out forgets to respond to me (which he admits to), and when he does respond, it is normally something short like "Oh?" Or some silly emoticon. While I know it's a mixture of stress as well as distraction getting to him, and making him act, well... Very uninterested in speaking to me, I still can't help but take it somewhat hard. There's already one thousand miles between us, and him completely pushing me off in favor of distracting himself with games is a tad bit hurtful, and it leaves me feeling a bit lonely, unwanted, and perhaps like I'm not a priority. The only saving grace from all of this is he does call me pretty much every night... Which shows me he cares, and that he does take initiative, but even sometimes over phone conversations, he is quiet and doesn't respond much. (Though there are times I can't get him to stop talking, and those are the times I love most.)
I guess what I'm trying to figure out is... How to make it so it doesn't seem like the distance is continuing to grow between us? And I don't mean physically, I mean emotionally. It's a touchy situation because I know he's not doing this to be mean or because he is uninterested... But sometimes, a steady conversation throughout the day would be nice. (Not all the time, I'm not that needy. But I'm becoming kind of needy now because of how long this string of 'distance' has been going on.) He's always talking about how he talked to his guildies and whatnot, and it makes me realize that he probably talks to them more than he does me on any given day. I've told him before if he could just try to put a teeny-tiny bit of effort in getting back to me... And it worked for a while, then slipped again. He even told me he would text more when had my surgery a week or so ago on Thursday, since I would be too tired to stay up to talk on the phone, and he didn't. What's a girl to do?
However, as of the last couple months or so, things have hit a somewhat low point and it's left me rather restless. I'll try and make this as short and sweet as possible, all the while getting to the point...
My boyfriend is the type who needs to work (as in, having a job) to totally feel accomplished in life. He feels somewhat useless and kind of like a bump on a log if he's not working and putting his mind to something, which is completely understandable because I'm exactly the same way. (No money means none of those expensive international flights across country borders, though I'm lucky it's just Canada!) He lives with a somewhat pushy father, who always badgers him about finding a job and puts him under pressure if he doesn't, even when my SO is doing everything in his power to find a job. (He just recently ended his contract with a temporary position at a local clothing store. He got his hopes up when management made it sound like he was going to stay, but ended up being let go anyways.) Needless to say, his lack of being able to find a job in this economy has been beginning to stress him out... And with stress on him comes stress on our relationship.
Here's where I come in. Because I am understanding and concerned about my boyfriend, I tend to leave the subject alone and let him do what makes him feel better, which is well... PC gaming. MMORPGs. The dreaded six letter acronym! (I actually love gaming, hah.) Getting immersed in games is his way to distract himself from doing nothing, and it keeps his mind going and distracts him from the constant pestering and pressure coming from his father, who is just... Intolerable to say the least. However... Just recently, things have gotten rather bad in the 'distraction' factor.
Long story short, my boyfriend is becoming so distracted by this one game (that I introduced him to... Oops), that he takes eons, and I mean eons to respond back to any texts or anything I send him. My last text to him was at 5:15... It is now 8:13. Normally I let it slide, but it's been becoming absolutely crazy as of the last couple months since he's been let go of his last job. I have to somewhat pester him to get a response back because he flat out forgets to respond to me (which he admits to), and when he does respond, it is normally something short like "Oh?" Or some silly emoticon. While I know it's a mixture of stress as well as distraction getting to him, and making him act, well... Very uninterested in speaking to me, I still can't help but take it somewhat hard. There's already one thousand miles between us, and him completely pushing me off in favor of distracting himself with games is a tad bit hurtful, and it leaves me feeling a bit lonely, unwanted, and perhaps like I'm not a priority. The only saving grace from all of this is he does call me pretty much every night... Which shows me he cares, and that he does take initiative, but even sometimes over phone conversations, he is quiet and doesn't respond much. (Though there are times I can't get him to stop talking, and those are the times I love most.)
I guess what I'm trying to figure out is... How to make it so it doesn't seem like the distance is continuing to grow between us? And I don't mean physically, I mean emotionally. It's a touchy situation because I know he's not doing this to be mean or because he is uninterested... But sometimes, a steady conversation throughout the day would be nice. (Not all the time, I'm not that needy. But I'm becoming kind of needy now because of how long this string of 'distance' has been going on.) He's always talking about how he talked to his guildies and whatnot, and it makes me realize that he probably talks to them more than he does me on any given day. I've told him before if he could just try to put a teeny-tiny bit of effort in getting back to me... And it worked for a while, then slipped again. He even told me he would text more when had my surgery a week or so ago on Thursday, since I would be too tired to stay up to talk on the phone, and he didn't. What's a girl to do?
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