Need a little support for this decision I made

[Phimini]

A couple weeks ago, a guy in one of my college classes let me know he was interested in me and wanted to take me out. I told him I had a boyfriend, but I would be cool with being friends. Things were okay for a while, but tonight he basically asked me if I would leave my boyfriend for him... it made me really uncomfortable and I let him know that, no, I won't do that and I just didn't feel comfortable hanging around with him after that... it really made me feel just... I dunno. Icky.

I know this was the best thing to do for me since I know I'd be really uncomfortable otherwise, but I'm too damn nice and I feel bad for wanting to not be around him anymore. It was really what I needed to do but I feel a little guilt, probably from my anxiety... I wasn't harsh when I told him but I just... uhg.

Is there anyone else out there who's had to do something similar? I need reassurance that I'm not a total jerk.

[LoveJ]

You were absolutely not being too harsh. The fact is that you have a boyfriend, and he showed no respect for it even after you made it clear it wasn't going to happen. He doesn't deserve being close to you. Good on you for being tough with him.

[rebhan71]

My girlfriend had the same issue this summer when she was home. Some guy who she was friends with tried kissing her even though he knew she was going out with me. I wanted to kill him, but i held myself together. She hasn't talked to him since. People should respect relationships. I can reassure you that you are not a total jerk!

[lademoiselle]

You handled the situation in the best way! If he was a true friend he'd want you to be happy; that he could ask you to even consider doing such a thing as leaving your boyfriend would make me seriously doubt his integrity. Please try not to feel bad. Of course you aren't a jerk or anything like that - on the contrary, you're a strong and honest person for defending your relationship

[elina]

You're not a jerk at all, no need to feel that way If anyone, it's the guy who's the jerk here for not believing you the first time you said no. Like others have said, you did the right thing!

[princessmeg1328]

I agree with the others! You are completely not a jerk for telling him to get lost after he said that. The fact that he could even ask you such a question shows that he had no respect for you, in my opinion. You absolutely did the right thing.

[Haley53]

I had a male friend who groped me when I was with my ex. He grabbed my ass thinking it was funny. That's not behaviour I tolerate regardless of my status so I warned him of what it would mean if he did it again. I did a lot of mentioning my boyfriend at the time. The friend made a comment about having feelings for me, to which I responded saying he's aware I had a boyfriend and I'm an extremely loyal person, so not to even try (HA, and you think you were a jerk xD). The third thing that happened was he made comments about my body when we were at the beach. It was cold and so my nipples did what nipples do, even though I had on a swimsuit and a camisole over it. :P But I didn't appreciate the comment so I went home early and basically sent him a message telling him I never wanted to speak with him again because he'd made me way too uncomfortable and I'd given him too many chances.

So, obviously, you're not alone, and I don't think you were cruel at all for handling it the way you did.

[Soyokaze]

I agree with everyone else, it was him that was a jerk by not respecting that you're in a relationship. Sometimes you have to cut people off, which sucks. I feel for you because I'm the same way, it's really tough to cut people out or do anything even remotely rude but you made the best choice.

[Kristin91]

You're definitely not a jerk. I was in sort of a similar situation where my best guy friend at school said he had feelings for me. I had to make it clear that I wasn't going to leave my SO for him. I totally think you made the right decision

[KimmyFay]

I had something like this happen to me with a old coworker. He knew I had a boyfriend, but still continued to try and get me to send him pictures, and tried kissing me, and when i wouldnt let him things turned and he began calling me rude names, and even followed me home because I wouldnt allow him to drive me home. It made work uncomfortable for me to the point where i didnt really even want to go into work. He continued texting me and it finally got to the point where my dad sent him a text telling him to stop texting me and that if anyone owed anyone an apology it should be him. Even though I was uncomfortable around him i continued to go into work, and let it be known to him that I did not want to talk or associate with him any longer because of his disrespect of me and my relationship.