Want to know a secret?

[Hololz]

I thought I'd give my take on how being LDR has affected our relationship. This is the second time we have been LD. (Our story: CD Jan-sept 09, LD Sept 09 - march10, Kind of closed the distance march 10 (complicated story) and now LD again as of july 11) The first period of being LD we managed to see each other once every 2 weeks, now, after moving to another freaking country its once every 3-6 months, BUT its not forever, as of july/august 12 we will be CD again (sort of... we'll atleast be in the same country!!!)

So back to the original point of this thread. I honestly believe I was too young to close the distance when we did first time around (I was 18) it was his decision and of course I supported it, but I was so apprehensive about the commitment he was making (Basically, I felt like, if things turned sour then I was going to resented). During the time we were CD again, we had a complete communication breakdown, which both of us awknowledge. We would see each other maybe once a week, twice a week max! (We were both busy with work and other things that college/uni brings). During this visits, we would arrive late at night to each others place, watch TV, maybe have sex and then just go to sleep, wake up in the morning and leave early for whatever class we had. We didnt talk much, and if we did, we didnt talk about important relationship things. We got stuck in a huge rut.

I WHOLE HEARTEDLY BELIEVE being LDR again SAVED our relationship. We were forced to talk, because there really wasnt a whole lot more we could do. During his 2week visit here, we were the most open with each other we have EVER been in our whole 3 year relationship, and it means so much to me. We have both promised things will be different when we close the distance again. He's never been one for talking much about the future, but we actually started to make plans. We're not moving in together yet, but hes going to give me a key to his apartment (I would do the same but I'm going to be living in crappy student accomodation). I feel ready to close the distance this time around. We both feel more like adults now, and we now have an adult relationship.

Thats all I wanted to share really, a different take on an LDR.

[ushiwakafox]

I'm a strong believer that LDRs rise above other relationships when it comes to communication. This proves it! I'm glad LD helped y'all out. I know that without being LD me and my SO wouldn't be nearly as communicative as we are now. I think a lot of people in LDRs rush too much to close it ASAP. Of course that's the goal, but there's always something to learn in a situation. I'm very thankful for that part of our relationship, we wouldn't be where we are without it.
Thanks for the share!

[marbear31]

Honey, I know EXACTLY what you mean. I think our relationship wouldn't be as poignant if we hadn't been LDR for these past couple months. When we're together, we're literally the laziest two people on the planet (as of three months ago), but, like you, I think we would get stuck in ruts of comfort with each other (there's only so many documentaries we can watch!!!! :P). We definitely went out and did things, but I think the intensity of our relationship needed a cooling period, when I left in December for America, to blossom as it did. It's so funny, because the times where we've made leaps and bounds in our relationship has been when we're apart and forced to solely rely on communication. (He traveled twice when I was in Ireland, and both times he regretted the trips, because he missed me. Third time's a charm, together, yes? :P) I just remember this Christmas, almost three months ago to be exact, he started talking to me and telling me he loved me like I'd always wanted a man to: with no inhibitions. That's when we first starting planning for the summer, and I think with him realizing that I'm not going anywhere (he'd been cynical from past relationships), we were able to start really planting roots together.

A whirlwind relationship is all great, especially the physical aspect, but I think when you're forced to hae communication and express your innermost soul with one another, that's when you forge life bonds .I'm eternally grateful for LDRs, even if the immediate distance sucks.

Best of luck with you and Chris!! I love hearing about you guys!

[Deleted]

I totally agree with your point. I was only CD for a couple of months but I think the 9 months that followed, which are LDR, really helped us grow together a lot. I think I might know him much better than friends of mine with CD boyfriends who had been going out for years. We speak more than them and we do not have communication-related problems-which are key to many breakups in any relationship. I won't go sounding all childish and say "we are different, we are special and we'll get married" because I know we could still be told ours is young love, but I do think we have gotten to a point where we take our relationship more seriously than many people our age (both being 19). Still, young love or not, we are willing to make an effort to get through and someday close the distance, within some years.

I used to hate this LDR situation the first weeks... but nowadays, although I do wish he was here, I have a different take on it and I think if we get through this, I'll love the memory of being in an LDR because it made us stronger and very, very tightly close in the emotional aspect and it feels like after distance, many things will be "easier" to solve now that we've learnt about communication and about speaking out our feelings. I would have never chosen to be in an LDR... but I am grateful for it because it's made learn a lot in very few time. In the future I'll never be one to say "I wish we would have never been long distance".

Good luck to all LDRs there