My anxiety is terrible!

[Amatory]

When you're about to see your SO, do you freak out this much? .3. I've had some anxiety problems for years, but this is crazy.

I have to wait about a month or so to see him still, yet I am already constantly worried. About everything. My mind is racing with the amount of things that could go wrong. I'm concerned because this is his first time flying alone. I'm worried that though we are so close now, something will happen when we meet to mess up our relationship. I'm anxious about kissing, about just.. touching him at all. And then there are ridiculously irrational fears that make no sense at all. ._. Like. We could wreck on the way home, or he'll hate the hotel room. I don't know.

It doesn't help that my parents are near constantly telling me I'll regret this, or that it's just stupid. They're offering me no support, when I'm freaking out the most. (In fact, I was so upset that although I ran errands for them all day, one of them once again called me an idiot for this, so I used their card to take my little brother out to dinner. :P)

Don't get me wrong, I'm so excited that I've been practically squealing in my head. xD I just don't know what to do about the anxiety. It's making it hard to sleep, my appetite is out of whack, my stomach's in knots. I've been drinking tea and trying so hard to relax, but it's hard!

Do you have this problem? How do you deal with it?

(/rantrantrant)

[squeeker]

I have problems with anxiety and nerves as well. I remember before I met my boyfriend for the first time I was really nervous and really excited. I think being able to talk to my boyfriend a lot before helped my nerves but I was still nervous. It was my first time flying alone (actually first time flying any significant distance really) and it was a little scary, but my boyfriend talked me through the steps I'd go through at the airport because he flew before (though it was less than half the distance). I was nervous but by the time I got to the airport, I had thought of it a lot, and I was more excited than nervous. My mom and sisters were there to drop me off, helped me find the check in and walk with me to security, and we had something to eat together quickly before I went through security. I remember security and immigration are the scariest parts, but I got through them okay both times I've flown to the UK each time and back. I know my boyfriend was nervous for me flying alone as well, and was more nervous when something happened when I landed there.. my phone which I brought that I thought would work didn't. But it all worked out because my boyfriend called the taxi we prebooked that was waiting for me at the airport. I remember when I saw my boyfriend for the first time, all my nerves went away. He might be extra nervous being in a different country.. my advice is to not be afraid to hug him when you see him. I know when I saw my boyfriend for the first time and he reached out to hug me it made me feel so much better and it was so amazing to be with him in person after spending all the time apart. I wish you all the luck in the world that this works out for you as I have a feeling it will. Focus on the excitement and preparing for when he's there with you! Oh and don't worry about kissing, take things as they come. I was kind of worried about that as my boyfriend was the first person I've ever kissed but it turned out good. Take things as they come, and don't worry about your parents, they are just trying to be protective of you. I remember before I flew to see my SO, my dad was wondering how I could possibly know he was who he says he is, anyone can say anything online, but then when I told him how I talked and saw him speaking on webcam, he calmed down a bit, and my mom had seen and spoken to thim a bit also on webcam so she helped as well. I wish you all the best. If you need someone to talk to, I'm here. Take care!

[Haley53]

Yes. I wrote about this a little while ago. xD My SO's coming in 11 hours and I'm a mess. I woke up with a ball of nerves in my stomach. So I'll post to say you're not alone, but I'm stalking for help as well.

[lala]

I think being nervous is just normal. It would be strange if you were not ecited to see your SO lol
but just relax. I'm sure he is as narvous as you.. and maybe have the same silly questions "What if he doesn't like..". But Just keep busy and the last hour before you see him go nuts.. :P haha jk

[Amatory]

The thing about my parents is that they've both already talked to him on skype so.. there's nothing else I can do? .3.

But thank you guys so much. It helps. I think the best advice is to keep busy. xD Sounds obvious, but if I keep busy with school and art commissions, it means I'll have more money to take him out when he's here.

xD I'm glad I don't feel so alone though.

[ChrisJones]

The parent problem will be hard to deal with until they meet him in person and make a good impression on them. The irrational fears are hard to control, but you one idea is to tell him these things and talk them out. You shouldnt be too scared about things but it is completely normal. When I flew to my SO it was scary flying alone and the whole flight I had anxiety. SO don't worry about those things, you arent alone.

[usmcgirl]

Just try to stay calm and busy! The nerves will go away on their own. I'm happy you get to see him though!
As said before, the parents will have to wait until they meet him and he makes a good impression on them before they accept it.
Good luck!

[kiara_silver]

Everyone's given good advice. I see my SO in less than two weeks and im starting to have mini anxiety attacks. Suddenly all these worries are popping up, and im scared some things going to go wrong, or now he's going to come and not want to be here, or want to go back home. Just crazy worries. But breath, take a step back, and remember he loves you. Don't freak out to much, it feels natural and is the best feeling ever once you see him and your there with him, it's all worth it!

[Soyokaze]

I know the feeling, when my SO and I first met face to face I was coming home from Job Corps and he was driving up from Tennessee. If my brother were on this forum he would gladly tell you all that he put on headphones just so he wouldn't have to hear me freak out about meeting him. I found that once we met in my house we pretty quickly fell into coupleness, though the first kiss was strange for me. I know it's hard not to worry but it'll be fine. There really isn't any way to calm it down, at least not that I found, but know that you totally aren't alone.

[Amatory]

Thank you so much, guys. ;~; It's the support I really needed and wasn't getting from my parents, and it really means a lot.

What I'm doing to calm down:
-First of all, telling him about the stupid worries so he can calm me down in the wonderful way he does. <3 (Like, when I said I was worried about us not wanting this after meeting, he basically said 'So what? This is for now. We'll have fun and if it doesn't work out, it doesn't. But it will.')
- Drinking LOADS of tea
- Getting caught up on school work, planning out what I need to have done ahead of time. (like this massive essay that will be due...)
- Commissions! Make money and keep myself busy. .3.

And then for the rest, masturbate like crazy errr.. go walking outside.

[alesitag]

ahahhahahaha you just made me laugh with your *edited/removed* comment... but hey... that's a well known way to relieve stress right??

Just relax, and be yourself when you meet him... that's what he fell for in the first place ... also I read on an anxiety management website that it's good to set a "worry period" which is the only time you'll be allowed to worry AND take care of those things that make you worry.

I think specially on this situation, it's really easy to set this worry period by setting dates for specific actions, if you're worried about your first kiss, set an appointment with your dentist to ensure a nice fresh breath (also buy one of those mini mouthwash bottles to keep in your purse the day you meet), get a flavored lip balm so he'll remind the way your lips taste, if you're worried about touching him, make sure your hands are super silky smooth, get a manicure (nothing fancy, just a simple one to show you take care of small details), if you're worried about him hating the hotel, ask him what would he need to feel comfortable and make sure the hotel can actually fulfill his expectations (although most men are quite simple, so I'm guessing he'll say WiFi or any other kind of internet service, phone, TV, nice, comfy -big enough- bed and a shower ), if you're worried about car malfunction, get your car checked, oil level, tires, brakes, all those things... if you're worried about what to wear, go find the perfect outfit and have it ready for that special day... worried about not knowing what to talk about? PM me... I'll help you with that ... worried about your family? THIS IS NOT ABOUT THEM!! this is about you and your SO!! If they're not supportive, well, it sucks, but you'll have to prove them wrong!!,

Again, set dates for those specific things you can take care of, but only allow yourself to worry and take care of them during that specific period of time... not before, not after...

I know you'll probably be reading a thread from me in the next couple of months when the time to meet my SO comes... and I'll be ranting and freaking and pulling my eyelashes one by one about it...

Let us know how it goes!!

[marbear31]

Awwww hon, first off, breathe. It's one moment at a time, and happiness is on the other end. You're going to do fine, and be okay, and get to see your SO. Win win win? I think so!

Now, I COMPLETELY understand where you are coming from. I think everything from, "What if I die on the plane ride over?" to "What if he chokes on a piece of chicken?" Irrational, yes, masochistic, maybe, but destructive, definitely. I've learned that if you live your life in constant fear you'll never be able to enjoy the ride. I know it's more simple than pushing your thoughts away, but what if every time you worried about something, you consciously respond with a positive thought or memory about your SO? Enjoy the moments you have together, not ones that most likely will never happen.

Much love, darling, and I hope your anxiety gets better!! I'm so excited for you, and I hope your parents come round!

[Amatory]

I think specially on this situation, it's really easy to set this worry period by setting dates for specific actions

I think I love you for these ideas. Seriously, with my anxiety I pretty much just ball up and go "WAT DO??" and I don't actually.. do anything. Reading that was very helpful, and I'm glad I made you laugh. xD

"What if he chokes on a piece of chicken?"

This made me laugh. Yeah, I do have stupid worries like that, too. xD And I'll definitely take your advice. Thanks!

[alesitag]

I'm glad you find my post helpful...

My pleasure!