How long till the tears stop falling?

[Victoria James]

Hi all,

My name is Victoria and I'm a newbie to the site. My boyfriend is leaving for the USA (for 9 months) in 2 days time

He hasn't even departed and already the tears are falling in abundance

I was just wondering (from your own experiences) when the tears might start to subside?

xx

[lala]

Oh sweety I think we all can feel you. To be honest.. my tears never subsided. Some days I'm doing better and on some I could cry every day..

Be strong and enjoy your last days!We'll be there for you :*

[lyonsgirl]

Welcome to LFAD, Victoria.

Some days the tears don't stop, unfortunately. Like lala said, there will be days where all you want/can do is cry. But you can't focus on his leaving. Start a countdown calendar to when you get to see him again. Install Skype-and if you don't have webcams, invest in them immediately. They are definitely worth it. I don't have an international LDR, but from all that I've seen here Skype or Oovoo are excellent for international LDRs. (They're great for LDRs that aren't across oceans, too!)

It seems to me many of us say the same thing about LDRs: the best way to cope is to keep yourself busy. Get more involved with something you've always loved, or maybe even try something new. It's going to be hard at times, but you found LFAD, and we'll help you get through it.

[kiara_silver]

It comes and goes. Some days are easier, but then some days you just have a cry. Like the above both said. But stay strong, keep the communication between you two open and don't give up. countdowns help, seeing it get closer and closer. Skype dates are the best. Doing the little things to make it easier. It's hard but it's possible, and you can have good days. I do thank the distance, I think it makes you and your SO appreciate the little things, and each other more.

[Zapookie]

It will get easier once the first week passes. Keep yourself busy - go out with friends or your family and do fun things. Don't visit places that you and your SO regularly hung out at, it will just make you feel bad.

Keep the communication open, honest, and frequent between you two - that is the only way this will work. If both of you can make it through this, you can make it through almost anything.

[megfashion]

the firsts are the hardest. for example, when the SO got the news that he was, in fact, going to that uni that is 216 miles away, that day i cried... when he started having doubts, i cried... and then when he left, tears again...

but you sort of get used to it in a way after a while. its always hard at first, but it does get easier i promise

[temporaryuser]

there will be good and bad days. Witha time difference, you will have to work out a schedule for communicating with each other. Too many missed chances lead to doubts which are usually unfounded.
Find different ways to communicate with each other. Mailing surprise packages, phone calls, texts, Im's, email etc. Change things up.

[dukes2011]

Hey Victoria! Glad you found LFAD to help you out before your boyfriend leaves. A lot of times for me, the anticipation gets to me before he leaves so it's a completely normal feeling. Like everyone else has said, keeping yourself busy and constant communication whether it be through email, phone, Skype, etc. is key. There will be good days and bad days and I'd say the most important thing is to acknowledge those feelings for your own sanity. I'd try to be all tough and tell people instead of crying if I was truly upset and it was ten times worse bottling it up. It's hard for me to confide in people, but those few friends I have that I can tell them anything (other than my SO) have helped me through an LDR too when I just need to go out instead of sit there and miss him.

Whenever you have a good or bad day, post on here! It's great to have someone write back "I know what you mean. I've been through that too." and they actually know what you're feeling. Everyone here is really open and you can share just about anything- even things have nothing to do with LDRs. Anyway, sorry for the book I wrote you but I'm so glad you're here and I can't wait to get to know you better

[usmcgirl]

It's different for everybody. Some days, he'll linger in the corner of your mind; other days, he'll be all over your mind & every single damn thing will remind you of him. The latter of the two is the hardest. Welcome to LFAD though, and stay strong, sweetie. xx

[MeganK]

The tears wont stop for awhile, i spent 6 mnths with my bf in england,
i cried for weeks, was so hard not being around him anymore after a long time together.
just hold in there, it will get better, but know after every visit it gets harder and harder
to leave. u can survive it (=
hang in there