Student debt and work=visit killers?

[Lunar Snow]

Aside from all the other situations my SO and I are dealing with right now, I think the biggest one would be the challenge of visiting each other this summer. I just finished university and need to go out and find an amazing and lucritive job, but I have been dragging my heels for just over a month now. After finishing school, I am super broke (not to mention the evil student debt) and it sucks, so I am back home for awhile....which also puts a damper on things, but that is for another post. I realize that I need money to go see him (he came to see me the first time and met my friends at school and now he wants me to come and see him and meet his friends and family), but I have this sick feeling like if I find a job, I won't be able to take off enough time to go see him (paying for a $500-700+ airline ticket and other necessities seems kind of pointless if I fly down one day and back the next). So, I think I have become rather isolated and depressed, on top of my worries (logically, what I am doing is probably silly, but I keep waiting for this miracle solution to land in my lap).

He has a fall term of university left to go, but is already busy at work this summer. Originally, his dad had promised him an airline ticket for a birthday present (I'm not sure that his dad knew about me at the time or not, but his mom did), which he told me he wanted to use for me...but he doesn't talk about that anymore and I don't want to press him. After talking about my worries about the situation to him, he said that he did feel we could make it through the summer without seeing each other, though it would be very difficult, but that was a last resort. He said he was concerned about me not looking for work, because I am worrying and he doesn't want to be the cause of me not finding a career. He then took to saying that he would be putting more hours in at work, so that he could pay for my ticket. Which was sweet, but I feel like he already resents the idea. I think the most realistic scenario, even if I do get work, may still be that he assists me on part of the flight cost.

Do you think there is a way for me to get a cool job and be able to visit him this summer for a decent amount of time? Any other advice for this situation?

[Zephii]

One thing is certain, LDRs can be seriously expensive. Is there a way you can get all your friends and family to pitch in for a ticket (or part of one) rather than giving christmas gifts? Or something?
What length of time would you be looking at to stay for?
At the end of the day though, with or without a visit, you need a job as soon as possible. It's hard to get by without one. Can you get a temporary job for a couple of months to get you the money you need, visit, then find a career-fostering job when you get home?
There are some really well paying seasonal jobs, expecially at government places - data entry type work and the like.

There's a lovely American chick on these forums who got a job with the intent of visiting her SO - knowing she'd be taking a holiday not long after getting the job, and that has worked out for her. I'm guessing if you warn them in advance that you'll be taking a week or two off (unpaid) then it shouldn't be too much of an issue.

I don't have a lot of advice, I just wanted you to know that it is possible.
Good luck & Carrots!

[Bluestars]

Your situation is definitely possible, you just need to stick your neck out there and start applying to as many jobs as possible. If you don't mind my asking, what exactly is your major?

It sounds like you are wanting a job dealing with that, but depending on what you studied it might be very hard to find a good job right away. My boyfriend just graduated last December, and he has yet to find a job in journalism yet (even though he hasn't really been looking all that hard for one), but he works two jobs in the meantime and is saving up money to go on a trip before he looks for a job in his career.

I say this because that might be an option for you. If you find a minimum wage job, like at a restaurant, in sales, or at a grocery store, then you will at least have some income. You will also most likely be working part-time, which would give you enough free time to apply for that more "lucrative" and "fun" job. Also, I imagine it is a lot easier to get a week off with part-time jobs like this. Just keep in mind that the economy is bad right now, and a job is a job. Sometimes you just have to take what is available.

That being said, you shouldn't not look for a job in your career because you do not think you can get days off. I wouldn't necessarily tell them at the interview that you want a week off, but I would probably bring it up a few weeks after working. You can just ask if it would be a possibility, and you never know; they might say yes. If they don't, couldn't you save up money for a plane ticket and fly your boyfriend up to see you? If he is just working a part-time job, then he would probably be able to get off. I only worked for two months last summer, and I still got a week off to fly and see my boyfriend!

Good luck with this!

[Riyko]

I have the same exact situation as you do except my guy is done with college and i'm not, but I have to start paying off my student debt in July and then I finish up school in December. I'm going to be seeing my guy in June and then I also don't know when I will see him again. What I would suggest doing is once you get a job just ask them if it'd be ok if you take a week off, but do it once your off your probationary period (usually the first 60-90 days) and i'm sure they would be more then willing to give you a week off.

I hope that helps you any and keep your head up it will all work out for you in the end =)

[Lunar Snow]

Hey, thanks for all the replies and views!

For some reason, every time I have gone to post a reply to this thread, my reply gets eaten or I have to leave the computer. Anyway, didn't want to seem unappreciative.

You are right! I totally have to give myself a kick on the seat (ummm, maybe not literally...my brain hurts, thinking about how that would actually work) and get out there on the job hunt. I think, for the summer, that I should count my lucky stars if I can get an every day job to make some money (the job market is tough and many places don't want to hire people just for the summer), while still applying and on the look-out for some uber jobs! Because...I'm getting bored and sad and that probably doesn't make me very delightful to him. I wish that he would consider coming here a bit more, but I can understand that it cramps our style a bit when I am not in my own place and I have parents around who don't particularly approve of me agonizing over a long-distance relationship.

The compounded gift idea, unfortunately, won't work, because my family has already given so much towards my education and I doubt they have the desire to donate to my wish to go chase a man who lives so far away. :S Although, my Mom did suggest that we not go back to my university for my graduation and I could use the money saved toward seeing my SO. Er...except, it was said in a way that really suggested that she didn't mean it and thought I would be foolish or somehow dishonouring the confidence my family has in my abilities if I chose that route.

I like that you are all hopeful that I could ask for some time off after I have a position! Yay! I have also been looking into alternative means of travel, though I think air is still the best. I will have to start collecting Air Miles, like a fiend, too. So, the best of luck to you on coordinating visits, etc. Maybe I will update a bit if and when he and I have a visit planned.

(A total dream of mine to call him up from the same city and say I am on the way to his house...or some other mega surprise. With some notice from a bit of a distance, of course. If he had surprised me coming to my place, he would have encountered disaster-zone apartment, for sure!).