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Whose opinions matter to you?

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    Whose opinions matter to you?

    I'm about to head over to my SO's family's house to have coffee with his sister and her new squeeze (bringing some stinky [garlicy] bruschetta with me!). We're going because my SO's opinion is so important to his sister, she goes out of her way to introduce him to new guys.

    When I think about me, I don't know whose opinion matters most. The truth is, I've never had a boyfriend who my family/friends didn't embrace. My mom is so laid back, even when she doesn't like someone, she doesn't say anything and tells us it's our job to figure out what we want. I'm really glad my family likes my SO. I think it would suck if they didn't.

    So whose opinion matters most to you?

    #2
    My son's opinion matters most when it comes to the SO. Not that I wouldn't still love my SO if my son did not like him, but we would definitely be working on that to get to a comfortable point. I hated my dad's (now ex) wife and since I know how rough that was, it's important to me that my boys get along.
    It's nice that the rest of my family all like him, but he's actually the first plain old boyfriend they ever met. They met my two ex-fiances, but only after we were engaged. Before my son, the family's opinion never really mattered to me. I was probably more worried what my best friend thought of the previous men.

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      #3
      My friends, they are my family and their opinions are important but I don't think I'd stop dating my SO unless they had good reason to dislike him. Meaning they'd be able to see some major character flaws my puppy love self couldn't see.

      Notes:
      Met: 8.17.09
      Started Dating: 8.20.09
      First Met: 10.2.10
      Closed the Distance: 8.9.14

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        #4
        My closest friends and my mom
        And sister are really important, but I always, for some reason cared a lot about what my brother thinks.. He never really liked my exBFs, but even though he haven't met my SO, he likes him a lot! But that's probably because they are like the same type of guys..
        \\ Someday everything will all make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, and keep reminding yourself that everything //
        \\ happens for a reason //

        \\ We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing //

        \\ When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down “happy.” //
        \\They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, I told them they didn’t understand life!! //

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          #5
          My mother's opinion means the most to me out of all my family. She's my best friend so she knows what's best for me. She's always able to see past what I sometimes fail to see. My father always acts the same for every boyfriend so it's not as big of a deal. XD I like to have family as a whole support who I am dating, so right now I'm as happy as can be because everyone supports me and my SO.
          "You will always have my heart, no matter how far we're apart" ~ Jacob

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            #6
            My mother's opinion means the least to me. We don't get along very well. I'm not afraid to say that I just don't like my mother.
            My grandparents' and my dad's mean the most to me. Iut of those, my grandmother's means the most. My friend's opinions don't really matter all that much. Depends on the friend though. If it's my friends I've known since I was 5, I definitely listen. Then comes the people I graduated with, and then a few select college friends.

            My SO lives with my grandparents at the moment. My grandmother ushered him in. So, I obviously have approval there.
            ". . . We obviously have to come to accept it, but that doesn't stop it from gnawing at us day by day.
            The best we can do is enjoy our time together, anticipate our reunions, and remain passionate and loyal through distance." ~Mike <3



            ~*~11.21.2010~*~

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              #7
              For me, my mothers opinion. My dad's also matters, but I know he tends to be very critical of my boyfriends and hard to please...so I expect him to almost dislike most of my boyfriends. My mom is more forgiving, and she tends to see the whole picture and I am so close to her that if she hated a boyfriend it would be hard to stay with him. She is my best friend, so if he did something so bad as to make her dislike him being as she is a sweetheart, he would not be the guy for me!

              Lucybelle, I have been LOOKING for a killer bruchetta recipe for easter, mind if I steal yours?

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                #8
                My best friends opinions matter most. My mum can be quite quick to judge people and get stubborn about it. but hers does matter too, but my two closest friends matter most.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by 11MikesGirl21 View Post
                  My mother's opinion means the least to me. We don't get along very well. I'm not afraid to say that I just don't like my mother.
                  I am the same. I don't have a good relationship with her and whether she likes my SO or not isn't something I think about. Of course it would be nice if she liked him - she does to a degree, but she has a lot of old fashioned hang ups about interacial relationships etc. which probably won't change any time soon.

                  My friends opinions matter the most. I really wanted them to like him, and they did, which was awesome. It was also nice to know that my aunt and her family liked him too.

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                    #10
                    for my last two relationships I never really cared about anyone's opinion... literally, my friends and family could have said ANYTHING and I wouldn't have listened... after I broke up with my first bf, my closest friends started telling me they never thought he was good for me, and that they even tried to imply it with some comments but i never got the hints (which is totally true). My parents actually loved him, and even saw him as their son, but it was a huge disappointment to them when he broke up with me and he didn't get the nerve to say goodbye to them...

                    My second bf, we lasted 5 and a half years, and right from the beginning, my closest friends would always say I could do better than him, but again, I never listened. After a year, my mom started making comments about him, she loved him very much, but she always got the feeling he wasn't the one for me... my parents and friends opinions on him kept going and I kept brushing them off, until I realized that maybe I should pay attention to the people around me and try to see if their comments were actually based on real facts... Oh what a surprise... no need to explain why he's my ex now.

                    Now, with my SO, things are different. I've told my mom, some relatives and closest friends about him, and even when they haven't seen him or talked to him, they're all very supportive. My best friend since I was 15, who is like a sister to me and knows me very well, told me I glow whenever I talk about him.

                    Anyway, I've learned that I should pay attention to others opinions, try to find out where they're coming from and even though I wouldn't let them have a total influence over me, i'd definitely have them in mind.

                    “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

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                      #11
                      If my mother were alive it would be her opinion that would matter the most, but she's been gone for 22 years. Now it is my son's opinion that matters the most to me. He has a great head on his shoulders for a 24 year old, and I am lucky that from their very first meeting when he was 13, he liked my SO.

                      Everything I know, and anywhere I go, It gets hard but it won't take away my love,
                      And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done, It gets hard but it won't take away my love

                      sigpic

                      Me without Him is like Son of Beast without the loop.

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                        #12
                        My family as a whole; my daughter, my mom, dad, brother and sister. My family is very open-minded and welcoming, if they had strong reservations about someone, I'd definitely take it into consideration. Granted, I'm 41, so family approval just isn't the big deal it once was, I make my own decisions, but I have learned to pay attention to the people who love and know me.
                        Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

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                          #13
                          My SO's is probably the most important to me. My moms, sister in laws, and brothers is also really important to me. Then its one of my best friends.

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                            #14
                            My mother's opinion is absolutely the most important to me. She's my best friend and very supportive.

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                              #15
                              I'm not too fond of people's opinions - mostly because I know that some of my family just simply cannot accept the fact that I could be and am with a girl. My mother has never judged me for who I am, and I'm very thankful for that. It would be difficult if she didn't approve my relationship, because I know I would take my SO's side rather than hers in a situation like that. But I probably would start wondering if something's wrong if all friends didn't like my SO.
                              "Everyone smiles in the same language."

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