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    #1

    today hasn't been a good day (vent)

    I'm feeling awful... maybe I'm just too tired because I slept only three hours.

    I just bursted into tears... Last night I stayed up until 3 am to spend some time with my SO even though I had to wake up at 5:30 to go to work... I usually don't work on saturdays, but i decided to do that because we didn't have much time to talk during the day.

    So today I got late to work (no big deal... they're not gonna pay me anyway, plus I was supposed to be there until 1pm and i ended up leaving at 6pm), for some reason I was feeling kind of sad this morning... the fact of not having my baby here with me just hit me today and it made it hard for me to focus on my job.

    I spent all saturday stuck at the office, I couldn't eat anything but some crackers... so by the time I left, I was feeling a bit blue, my head and my back were killing me and I was feeling really tired and starving.

    Even though I was really tired and sleepy, I told my SO I'd msg him whenever I got home (he got online just a couple of minutes before I left the office), and I did it... he then left for work, but he didn't get online by the time he usually signs in, so I waited for him even though my eyes were (are) closing against my will... when he finally gets online, after the usual questions (how r u? how's work? etc) he asks me what am I doing and I told him I was watching some videos on youtube while waiting for him... then he says this...

    23:18:55 me watching some videos on youtube...
    23:19:05 me while waiting for you
    23:19:25 Pat baby
    23:19:32 Pat i dont like to hear that you are waiting for me
    23:19:40 Pat makes me feel uncomfortable sort of
    23:19:47 Pat i told you this

    So I apologized, although I don't remember he ever told me he felt uncomfortable knowing I'm waiting for him... he then apologizes too, he says he loves talking to me, but hates the feeling he gets when we're having a conversation and he needs to put it aside because there are things at work he needs to take care of. I just told him I understood and I was going to finish my drink to go to bed, I just didn't want to go to sleep without saying good night... he told me he wants what's best for me, he wants me to get some rest. I'm totally cool with it, but couldn't he find a different way of saying it?

    I understand he can get busy and I've never demanded for his attention when he's either at work or at his apartment because I know he's got more things to do than just being in front of the computer... I constantly tell him it's OK if he cannot talk too much while at work, that I'm there for him anyway, but this conversation really hit me...

    Again, it's probably not me but the lack of sleep talking right now... which is why I didn't tell my SO i was upset and started crying like a baby...

    anyway... thanks for reading

    “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”
    Tags: None
    #2
    Miguel used to do EXACTLY the same thing to me. It drove me crazy, and it made me feel so bad some nights. I don´t know what happened, I guess he just started to realize over time that I was going to wait for him to say goodnight, regardless of whether he felt bad for it. And I guess I stopped waiting for him EVERY night as well. From my experience, I´d say he honestly doesn´t mean to hurt you. He just works late some nights, and he feels terrible for being the reason that you lose sleep. I don´t really have much advice other than just not to let it bother you too much. Get some sleep and you´ll feel better. And as for the future, I´d say to stay up as long as you feel comfortable (aka not dying at the computer screen), and if he is not on, then going to sleep. That way, you both are reasonably happy.

    ... It´s 5 in the morning here, sorry if that was a bit incoherent :P

    "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
    -Miguel De Cervantes

    Read our story HERE
    \

    Comment

      #3
      Haha... Not incoherent at all... I guess I made a big deal out of nothing. It's just the interesting word combination he used what really hit me, but like a male friend told me last night "men are horrible at expressing their emotions. they are completely and utterly ignorant to it, it does not even occur to them at all, so naturally they're not going to make sense".

      After my emotional breakdown, I got back online (actually, I just changed my status from invisible to online... I know, childish) and talked to him for a bit. I couldn't go to sleep without telling him how much I love him and also reminding him we've been together for two months today!!
      He was so sweet... I just remembered why I fell for him in the first place. I love my blue eyed angel

      “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

      Comment

        #4
        Some guys may feel a woman is getting too clingy if she waits by the phone or computer to hear from him (especialy if only after 2 months).
        Other times, they just dont see their words the same as we do. I know my so tells me not to wait up for him - if he works 4-midnite, it takes him an hour to get home, then we text. But sometimes he gets held over and cant let me know (hes a cop) and I would stay up for hours waiting to hear that hes ok.
        Do you sleep nextt o your computer? Could you message him that you are laying down but to please let you know that he made it home and that you wanted to say good nite? Would you hear it if he messaged you?
        If one of us wakes up in the middle of the nite, we always message each other - "just wanted you to know I was thinking about you" or something. its nice to see in the morning when you wake up.
        everything happens for a reason. We may never find out what that reason is/was, but there is a reason.

        Comment

          #5
          The computer is on the living room so I wouldn't hear if he messaged me... and I would never leave my session on since all my family uses the computer... That's a big "No-No"!! :P

          I don't think I'm clingy, I go out with my friends, do things around the house, when I'm at work I still do my thing whether he's online or not... but I may be wrong, so I'll try to relax a little!

          Thanks!

          “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

          Comment

            #6
            Yes, mine has the emotional range of a robot, but I know he means well :P And don´t worry, I secretly do the "appear offline" thing as well, but don´t tell him! :P

            "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
            -Miguel De Cervantes

            Read our story HERE
            \

            Comment

              #7
              Things would be so much easier if men and women spoke the same language. I honestly think it is the tired talking. I get a lot more emotional when I'm tired. He is concerned about your rest and your health, be happy with that. Sounds like a caring, considerate guy you have.
              Three words. Fill my racing mind. Leave me breathless. Lost in time.
              Three words. Fill my endless dreams. Repair my heart. Mend the seams.
              Three words. Fill your heart too. Three words pronounced. I love you.

              ~~~~~~

              You look in the mirror, you don't like what you see, don't believe it.
              Look in my eyes, I am the only mirror you're ever gonna need.



              Met online: 12/24/10 Met In Person: 2/24/11 Distance Closed: 4/24/11
              Not one regret, not one backwards look, only towards the future and beyond!

              Comment

                #8
                Yes, mine has the emotional range of a robot
                Hahaha... I swear I imagined your SO dancing like a robot...

                Actually mine is very, very emotional (he's a drama king lol), he just has a hard time putting his feelings into words sometimes.

                He is concerned about your rest and your health, be happy with that. Sounds like a caring, considerate guy you have.
                You're right! He is the most sensitive man I've ever known and I love that. I checked some previous conversations and I found whenever I tell him I was waiting for him or I would wait for him and it's getting late he always tells me I don't have to do that and he even told me he doesn't like feeling responsible of me loosing sleep, but I guess I've been stubborn and it's actually me who has been ignoring his feelings and I'm going to work on that

                “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

                Comment

                  #9
                  Yeah, you´re right Ale, mine is the same way. I just get a bit irritated with him when he fails at displaying his emotions, and I end up calling him a robot :P

                  "In order to attain the impossible, one must attempt the absurd."
                  -Miguel De Cervantes

                  Read our story HERE
                  \

                  Comment

                    #10
                    awww... you just remined me of him when you called me Ale... it's silly since everybody calls me Ale, but seeing it in an english conversation just reminded me of him you almost made me cry only because of that...

                    I sent u a request on Fb btw...

                    “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

                    Comment

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