Stuttering and relationships

[SeaLover]

I'm gonna start off by saying I'm a stutterer. I have been for as long as I can remember. Up until recently I was pretty sensitive about it, but through speech therapy and slowly opening up about it to my friends, I am becoming more comfortable with it. I have found that generally, people aren't as concerned with my stuttering as they are interested with what I have to say.

I have a couple questions for you guys/girls.
Is there anyone on the forums here that stutters or have an SO that stutters? How did you find out that they stutter? How has it affected the way you see them or the way they see you? How has it affected your relationship?

I encourage you to be completely honest and I promise not to judge. lol

[snow_girl]

I find that both my SO and I have trouble with words when we are nervous. I don't know if that is the same though. I don't think I would think any differently of someone that did have a stutter, its not something that can be helped and it doesn't define the person.

[SeaLover]

I would agree that it doesn't define a person, but it still makes a person unique, doesn't it?

[snow_girl]

Of course, but everybody has their own set of quirks that makes them who they are.

[Xanahtas]

I stutter sometimes, my dad used to and still does at times. I do it more when ive met someone new for the first time, on the phone, when im nervous etc. I wouldnt say it has a big affect on me, only when im put on the stop or dont know someone. I cant get words out properly sometimes. Its not bad by any means, but it does affect me at times.
It hasnt really affected my relationship at all, ive never really stuttered around my SO which really surprised me.
I have this silly thing i do before i call someone. I write it all down and go through it in my head in the mirror before i call them. Although i doubt im the only person who does that lol. I think doing GCSE drama in high school greatly helped me.

But it hasnt affected my relationship, and i wouldnt look down on someone with a stutter either.

[lademoiselle]

I watched this documentary on telly once about people who suffered from severe stuttering, like so bad that they could hardly speak. There was one guy who was about to become a father; his baby was born during filming and when he'd talk to it (can't remember if it was a girl or boy!), his stutter would completely disappear. The baby was the one person in front of whom he had no self-consciousness at all, it was so moving Haha, this doesn't have anything to do with the questions you've asked but I thought I'd share anyway!

[mimikkry]

I am not currently with a stutterer, but my ex has a bad stutter. I found it one of those cute quirks that made them them. Theirs was a nervous thing, so over the course of time, it faded away to a little here and there when it was just the two of us, unless we were arguing or they were upset. I wouldn't worry about it, if they can't love you because of a stutter, then they aren't the one for you.... at least thats my opinion. Good Luck!

[Brieasaurus]

Neither my SO or I stutter, but when I was younger I had really bad speech impairments. I was in speech therapy up until about 8th grade and today I still have issues pronouncing the "th" and "sh" sounds and sometimes my blank just blanks and forgets how to pronounce certain words. Almost like childhood apraxia but not in a child haha.

My SO thinks it's super cute that I say "the" like "da" and he doesn't mind finishing my sentence or helping me with a word when it happens. He's the only person I feel confident reading aloud to. Like the others said, it's a quirk. Definitely nothing that should impact a relationship.

[Haley53]

I have issues with stuttering primarily when nervous, but oftentimes when I'm emotionally excited (in a positive or negative manner), it tends to come out. I generally have issues with repetition/starting sentences, more like "I-I-I-I found this out..." or "G-g-guess what" or "You you you you you know what?" but I can't say I have ever been entirely self-conscious about it. I had a friend in high school who also had a stutter, so perhaps it was simply normalised for me having my best friend who had an "issue" with speech as well? My SO has never directly pointed it out. I know my mother gets frustrated/impatient with it sometimes, but for the most part, I don't think most people tend to make a big deal out of it. I know when I meet people who have stutters or speech impairments, it really means nothing to me.

[floridaellen]

My SO stutters sometimes when he gets nervous/excited. I think it's adorable.

My brother is handicapped and has a very difficult time speaking so normally I don't even notice stuttering since it seems so minor to me in comparison. I'm also studying to become a speech therapist so speech problems are no big deal to me.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I don't have a stutter, but I did have a speech impediment. (said my s's through my nose. Sounded more like gs than s's). I did have speech therapy for it, and although I can say my s's right now, when I'm angry or upset I slip back. I never managed to get to the point where I felt like people accepted me for it anyway (but then I did get pretty badly teased for it, and a lot of people couldn't understand what I was saying). I have had friends with stutters, and no it never really bothered me. But I never got out of thinking that people saw me and not how I was saying stuff.

[Softy]

I don't have that problem no, but am very shy.
Sometimes up to the point that i can't talk anymore.
And i tend to blush very easy.

Some friend even started to call me 'Silent Bob'.
Which is funny but not.

It's something I'm still working on, at the same time it's part of who i am.
I just say, who cares about ppl who don't take the time to understand you or makes fun of you.
The ppl who likes you for who you are won't have a problem with it.

[efish1042]

Actually, my SO used to stutter growing up and still does on occasion when he's nervous or around other stutterers. As a result, he doesn't talk much when he is upset now which makes things a little difficult with communication every now and then. He was/is really sensitive about it to the point that he didn't really want to watch The King's Speech with me at first. He is also really resentful of this boy (my age) we know that stutters a.) because being around him brings out the stutter and b.) the kid is a general d-bag anyway so no one really likes him, which unfortunately means he gets teased a lot, but its hard to be sympathetic when he's only ever been a jerk.
I have found that I stutter a little when my brain goes ahead of my speech, but it's rare.
Other than his trouble communicating when upset, it doesn't affect us at all and when it comes out (and I'm not furious with him) I think it's cute. But he is sensitive about it and so when it does sneak up on the rare occasion, we don't talk about it.

[dukes2011]

I do not stutter and neither does my SO, but I do know people who stutter. A guy that works with dad stutters and he has a great marriage, but he had difficulty opening up in prior relationships. He talks to me a lot how stuttering affects his life since I'm in school to be a speech therapist. He went through years of therapy and his stutter improved a lot, but when he gets nervous or has a strong emotion he'll stutter more. His wife says it's just part of him.

[13000km]

Like floridaellen, I am also studying to be a speech/language pathologist and meet people with communication disorders on a regular basis. While I haven't been in a relationship with somebody who stutters, I have found that it helps to let the person who you will frequently engage in conversation with (in this case, your SO) know the extent of your condition and how he should react when you do stutter. Teach him about the techniques you learnt in speech therapy so he can help you practice them and both of you will gradually develop communication with each other that you're both comfortable with. Take it one step at a time for him to understand what stuttering is and how it affects you.