Mother...

[Puramu]

I love and respect my mother, but she really ticks me off when it comes to my relationship. She has gotten better about it and a bit more accepting, but she ultimately doesn't approve still. She always likes to make little remarks about how we won't last or we'll get bored with each other. The thing I hate the most is her manipulating other people. Now I have almost all of my family, people at church, and all of her other friends who are disapproving too. They always ask me things like "Did you meet any cute guys at college?" and they all KNOW I have a boyfriend in Canada. It's so frustrating. I wish I could make them understand >_<

Anyways, I thought my mother was ok mostly because she let our summer trip be changed to Canada. But my brother recently came and told me that she's VERY worried about going. She thinks we're going to get kidnapped and murdered or something, UGH! I'm not some 12 year old who just met this guy a week ago! I don't know why she still has trust issues, she's talked to his mom on webcam before. I guess that's how she is. My brother assured me when he went to England a few years ago she was extremely worried. Still though, I wish she would trust me.

I don't know, does anyone else have problems like this? What do you do about them? I can only ignore so much...

[Swederica]

Well. My parents have accepted it atleast. But i don't think they really like it. Especially not my stepfather, while my real father have accepted it really well.
The problem with my relationship is that it's with a minor. That doesn't look good at any point. But yeah i can't do anything about my age, if i could i would.

But ultimately they can't decide or well i think that they've realized that what they think doesn't really matter much, if that sentence made any sense :P
They have just expressed concerns that i've decided to move to US, where she lives, without having met her.
But for me that feels alright. Cuz i've wanted to move to US long before i met my SO.

It sounds you have a very protecting mother, on the verge of being paranoid.
I could always come back to you later. After my SO and i have revealed all of our relationship to her parents.

[blissfulgirl2]

my parents have accepeted my relationship but pur that sucks im sry you need to talk with them

[agentholli]

my parents have acceptd mine, but they really don't have a say in it. I am a single mother and live on my own with my kids...they do know how much he means to me, and that helps.

I am sorry that you have to go through this. I hope it gets better

[Tinyteef]

Both of my parents are very accepting of my relationship but it may be because they have met him before and we have been together for a while before we were even long distance.

I'm sorry you're going through this but I'm sure they are just trying to look out for what THEY think is best. Not necessarily what is realistic but I'm sure they will warm up to it eventually Good luck!

[maja]

funnily enough, my parents are really cool about it and have always been, but my best friends mother totally freaked out about it, hence why i havent really talked to her since. (i only once gave her a call for her birthday, so that makes one call in about 10 months).
But in your case she is your mum and you cant really ignore her, bu that isnt the best way to solve this anyway. I think you just have to give her some time, at the beginning my dad wasnt as chill about it as he is now neither, but he just needed to get to know him better and accept the fact that im no longer his little girl. But once he got used to that he really started to like him (lol last week when seby wass still here, my dad had to leave for a business trip and said bye to me and seb he even tried teaching seby a secret handshake and my bf got soooo excited and so proud he likes him lol, he was like " he likes me! He likes the guy who fucks his daughter !" loooool) so yea, i think you just have to let her get to know him better and figure out for herself why you like (love) him so much, you are willing to go through all the pain of long distance...

[ValadinShadow]

It is your mother's job to worry. Has she met your SO? She doesn't know him like you do. Has she ever been to Canada? It can be a little scary going to a new place where you don't know anyone. As for other people, I get that reaction and neither of my parents are at fault. People don't understand long distance. They think it doesn't work, or that it isn't worth it. Sometimes I find myself half believing them. But at least your mother is trying. I have read some posts on here from people who have to hide their relationship completely from their family and friends. Be grateful that your mother is trying to be accepting, even if she can't help a comment or two ever once and a while. At least she isn't asking when you are getting married all the time...that get old pretty quickly.

[Swederica]

I agree on what you say that they doesnt understand LDRs.
Especially they have hard to believe that you can love someone without having physically met.

[Reckless_Anarchy]

I hate to say it but my mother can't know about our relationship.She disapproves very much on the whole gay thing, and so she'd flip if she knew.But my baby's mom approves, luckily

[Puramu]

Thank you all for replying. The main thing is she's been in a LDR once supposedly and it didn't work out at all. So yes, she thinks ALL of them are supposed to fail. I guess that's where the problem lies, but I'll just have to prove her wrong. But like I said, she's a lot better than she once was so it's not so bad.

[xsomanymilesx]

im sorry i dont have much advice,
im scared of the same thing happening to me when i tell my mum about me and my SO.
im so nervous, time is ticking!

[kraut]

My mom says she is ok with it but both of my parents are always asking when he is going to move here and how serious the relationship is. My mom also says little things, like pointing out other attractive guys. So I kind of know how you feel. Though my parents have met my OS and like him

[Bluestars]

If your mom has agreed to go with you to Canada to meet your SO, I would guess it would get a lot better once she meets your SO in person. Even though she might be worried about you, the fact that she is going on you with a trip to meet him sounds encouraging I know it is hard when people that you care about do not support your relationship, but I think that is a common problem that people who meet their SO online face in the beginning. If you know that your love is true, you just have to stand up for yourself and ignore the naysayers. Even if it takes a while, they will eventually get the point.

My mom and friends were very disapproving of my relationship with my SO before they met him in person themselves. We met up to go to a concert together two months after we met each other online, and my mom knew about it and did not care. However, after I told her we were trying to arrange a meeting to have another date, she flipped a lid and started saying he was probably someone like the Craigslist serial killer (even though she knew I met him before and had shown her pictures!). She refused to let us meet up, but after two days of fighting, my aunt mediated and my mom said it would be okay if he stayed in our hometown and she went out to eat with him before we went off alone. We did that, and she realized he was a good person My friends also had concerns about him, so that same visit I introduced him to them and they realized he was fine

Now, both of our parents are accepting, but it took them meeting the other person to be okay with it. My mom is accepting of our relationship and likes my SO, but she often makes snide remarks about him finding a real job or moving to be with me, but I try to ignore them.

[LadyMarchHare]

I feel your pain, believe me.

When I told my mom a week after I began dating my Hattie, the only thing she focused on was that he's black. I got an hour long lecture about how I was taking part in an abomination, that it was sick, "if God wanted us to be with other races we'd all be one color", and how if I ever married him or had his child she would take no part in it. The LDR part was almost as bad because she and my dad were a LDR for 6 months, she moved to be with him and after 3 years they had me. When I was 6 she divorced him because he turned out to be a monster and she believes he'll be the same way. She refused to tell any of the family I was dating out of shame but when we had a botched attempt at me visiting him and communication was screwed up, she called them all and said he 'stood me up' and that she was right all along.

It hurts a whole bunch, especially if you live with them and are dependent on them for anything like transportation. I can say it doesn't matter but in a way it does because you want them to see what you do in them.