Total newbie to the forums and LDR !!

[Ambino20]

Alright so long story short. I've been in two LDRs before my new boyfriend. The only difference is that the first one I was with only lives a couple states away and I was really young, 15. It wasn't real or love. I was married 2 years ago to a guy in the Air Force, we were told we were going to Guam for 3 years so that is why we got married. For all the wrong reasons. He cheated, we got divorced and I met my 2nd LDR boyfriend. I moved to Texas to be with him and things didn't work out, we're still really good friends though. I've been single for a year now and I just met this new LDR boyfriend a few months ago. We literally just fell in love. We both had been single for awhile and wrote the other sex off until we ran across each other. (we both play Counter Strike Source) the second we started talking, we couldn't stop. Then we started talking more serious and basically we both knew we wanted to be with each other. I had surgery two weeks ago and I had set up a donations page for 1000$ on my facebook. Before him and I were serious he donated 250.00$. Then while I was in the hospital, he sent flowers to my house. (keep in mind he lives in LA california and I live in Austin Texas).... he wrote me a poem and sent it to me, which I then printed out with his picture and framed it and put it on my dresser next to the flowers he sent. He ordered a "gift" for me, which he hasn't told me exactly what it is but kind of gave me hints. I know it's engraved and has his name and that it is jewelry, so I am thinking a necklace. Anyways, we got really seriously really fast and have already discussed Marriage and children. Here is the worst part though, he just went to basic training and I'm missing him like crazy. Going from talk to him EVERYDAY to not talking to him at all for 2 months (except for letters, which I hope to get soon) I feel so depressed... and that is why I am here, for support. I bought him a ring the other day, and on the inside of the ring I got the word "patience" engraved. I also went and got "patience" tattooed on my side today. Our song is "patience" by GnR. I just really don't know what to do for the next two months to keep me distracted. I work almost every day but all I can think about is him. btw, we are thinking about getting married while he is in A-school because he doesn't want to get deployed without me. I think it's kind of crazy because that will be soon and we have only been together for such a short time but like I always say, YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE! With that being said, I'm not even doubting one bit that we will not stay together, we really are the "perfect couple". So... any tips or anything to help me get through this would be great.... since this is a new feeling for me... Thanks everyone!

-Amber

[dukes2011]

Welcome to LFAD!

[LoveL]

I can only go by what was written in your post, so please forgive me if anything I ask comes across as offensive. Just need to clarify some things before we can give you some real advice and real support.

It seems like you have had a lot of relationships that have gone from the beginning period to the serious period very quickly and they haven't exactly worked out for the best. You seem to, just based on what you have written, allow yourself to get head over heels in love with someone without looking too far into the future or really planning out your moves. Making impulsive decisions isn't always a bad thing. But when it's something as serious as committing the rest of your life to it, you might want to wait just a little while longer before pulling the trigger.

How long have you been with this new guy?
Going so far as to have ink put on your body to commemorate a song and a feeling that the two of you share is a pretty drastic step for a new relationship. Have you also done with past partners? Do you regret any of those tattoos? Let's just say, hypothetically, that you and G.I. Joe don't work out. What will the next guy that comes along think when he sees your tattoo that was meant for someone else?

There is nothing wrong with doing any of this stuff if you are SURE, absolutely SURE, that this is the relationship that you are going to have for the rest of your days. But if it's not, and if you haven't give each other time to think this through, then I would suggest you just slow down a little bit, for your own long term well being.

I also wouldn't get married solely for the purpose of getting around not being able to live with him on base wherever he goes.

You have already experience a long term marriage to a soldier before. The kind of environment that they are in lends them to be more likely to be in situations where they can cheat. Are you sure this isn't something that is going to happen again?

You know this new guy and yourself better than anyone on this board will. Just make sure you're thinking about the long term effects of this with your head and not only with your heart.

Good luck,

[Softy]

Welcome : )

Only thing i can say from reading you... (that's only my opinion)
Get to know that guy better, don't get married so fast hun....
This time you wanna make sure he's good for you, that he's honest and he stays.
Don't jump in it too fast.

Cheers

[inlovewithYounes]

WOW HI! Welcome to LAFD. My LDR bf and I just joined this site here a few days ago and guess what? I'm in Austin, Texas too. That's really cool! I hope you are liking it here since you said that you moved here not too long ago.

I agree with everyone elses posts here. You went through the other relationships quickly but all for your own specific reasons. You are still young and don't need to rush into anything. You do live only once yes but take it slow and don't get married. It will be hard being away from him as all of us on here totally understand that but its better to stick through it with him and KNOW later on and be ready to get married than to rush to be together because of the distance and then possibly regretting it later and having another divorce. That is my opinion though and it is your choice. Good luck with it all!

[dglynn77]

Welcome to LFAD! We're glad to have you here!
Seems like your relationship is going really fast... Just remember, snything worth having is worth waiting for! Never feel you have to rush anything!
Best of luck!

[Ambino20]

The tattoo resembles a lot more than just my LDR and our song. Patience is a hard thing to have for most people. Myself being one of them. It's kind of a reminder. It's not his name, and it is definitely not just because of him.

Oh hmm, I wrote a lot more here but I guess I accident deleted it. UGH!

Anyways, I wrote that my marriage was a mistake from the beginning, I knew it then and I know it now. He had kids in which I was deeply connected to, as were they. I stuck around because I thought no matter how miserable I may have been that as long as the kids were happy, I'd be happy. That only lasted so long. They are still part of my life and always will be though. I don't know how to explain it to you all without sounding like I'm making another mistake with this new guy. Especially since you all don't know me or him or how we are. But, I can say this, we're deeply in love and neither of us have ever felt this away about anyone our whole entire life. I'm ecstatic to see where life takes me and I'm just going to follow my heart.