My PMS is affecting us..or me for that matter

[MissVampyxo]

Lately my PMS symptoms have been getting really bad. I get to the point that I don't want to do this relationship anymore and that I don't think I can handle this. I'm so afraid of what it will be like when we're actually together and I'm like this. I've looked this up online and I see a lot of other women feeling this way. Some of them can't even stand to be around their SO and just want to break up. One girl even said she did break up with her guy every month lol! I just get so many doubts about if I can handle this or if I even still feel the same way about him. I just get so overly emotional and I'm not sure what to do. I'm going to visit in June and I think around that time I'll be on my period and I know that I'll be even more emotional because of that. Though I'm scared I might instantly hate it there and want to leave and not even be around him.
I've looked it up and I have symptoms of PMDD but the way they even diagnose and test you for it is ridiculous. Mostly I just get really bad anxiety all the time but on my period it's over the top- extreme anxiety that effects my everyday life. Though since I am 17 the doctors of course will keep telling me to get a therapist, which I can't afford.

Do any of you women go through this horrible pms? I don't know if I should just break up with him, but I mean he's the love of my life and I can't imagine him not being here.

[Haley53]

My doctors were attempting to treat PMDD without all the ridiculous testing but when all failed and they wanted to try a drug, specifically formulated for PMDD (supposedly) but that's essentially Prozac, I stopped bothering.

My question would be if you experience anxiety on a regular basis, you may be experiencing premenstrual exacerbation in that regard. That's something you could consider speaking to someone about. I wouldn't necessarily jump to psychotropic medication being your drug of choice, but a doctor should be able to give you other options that might help if you cannot afford therapy. It's good that you have doctors that don't leap to drug therapy immediately. I have doctors that tend to so I can respect yours for not. :P But simply speaking to a doctor about your anxiety and your struggle with PMS and inability to afford therapy (can you not afford it at all? A lot of the times, women's centers will offer free or really, really discounted therapy via interns that are training there) might open up other doors, as your doctor may be willing to discuss other options.

[MissVampyxo]

Well I've had bad headaches ever since I was young and every time I would go to the doctors they'd just say therapy. After about 10 times to the doctors I finally got a good medicine that helps. And well I don't know if I should go to Planned Parenthood first or my doctors. Couldn't it be possible that even though I've been on my birth control for about a year now that it's just now giving me symptoms? I'm not sure if I should go there or just to my doctors :/ I get anxiety a lot, even when I'm not on my period but like I said when I am on my period- it's really bad. All this week I've had a huge knot in my stomach and I've just been depressed and crying everyday. I really can't even stand being here anymore because I even annoy myself. Nothing really helps calm me down either. :/

[Dziubka]

I have pretty bad PMS.
With physical symptoms like horrible breast pains (forget about going to the gym - my boobs hurt when I walk stairs and don't hold them and I have a B-cup), tiredness, etc as well as psychical like crying, feeling depressed, being irritated for no reason and so on. It varies from month to month, but it can get really mean. Since my period is pretty regular, I try to schedule important appointments that I can influence in the weeks when I won't be pmsing. Which is of course, not a real solution.
It helps a bit to tell myself and the people close to me that it's my hormones acting up and that no, I wouldn't normally cry because it started raining. The thing is, when I feel sad, I feel sad. It doesn't matter that I can logically explain to myself that nothing that bad has happened and that I feel the way I feel because of some chemicals in my body, not because it's really a sad situation, it doesn't change the way I feel. The first times I started to cry over ridiculously petty things my boyfriend was a bit shocked, but I told him what was going on and I think he can deal with it pretty well by now. Or he has just accepted the fact that I'm a nutcase.

Anyway seeing as it's only about 1,5 weeks every month, I don't really want to take drugs for it. I read that vitamin b6 and agnus castus (monk's pepper) is supposed to help with pms symptoms and I wanted to try that. I've already ordered the B6, but as it turns out my last cycle was anvolutary so I didn't experience any PMS at all.
I think with the B6 you're supposed to start after ovulation so if you don't chart your temperature, you might start about two weeks before you're supposed to start your period.

[FierceFoxie]

Are you on The Pill? If not, you may want to consider a low dose BCP. BCP can help alleviate symptoms of PMS. I came off the pill a few months into my relationship now due to the fact that my SO has had a vasectomy and some months I really wish I was still on it. I now get headaches, backaches, I am more sensitive about a week before or after my period and my periods are back to being 6-7 days long (I am in my 30's) and now my period is all wacky; it can be 4 days early or a few days late.

When I was on the pill, I only got emotional the first 2 weeks of starting the pill and then once your hormones balance out, all is good. I had shorter periods with it (3-4 days), I loved that it regulated my period so I knew exactly when I was going to start each month and I never had really heavy days. It was a mild period.

Just a thought!

[kirbycat]

One of my good friends dealt with similar symptoms through her last couple years of high school and into college. It also affected her relationship with her boyfriend (now husband), a lot like you've described. After years of being told by doctors that it was just "bad PMS," she was finally diagnosed with PMDD and put on medication, which has made a huge difference for both her and her husband. I don't know what kind of medication she takes, or what the diagnosis process was like, but if you really feel you need help - whether it's drugs or therapy - don't stop looking for it. As for whether you should start with Planned Parenthood or your regular doctor, I'd say it just depends on which you trust more and what you can afford. It probably couldn't hurt to explore both options, if possible.

In the meantime, have you discussed this with your SO yet? Obviously this is something that will affect him too, especially once you're together, and it's important for both of you to realize that any emotional difficulty isn't just "you" - it's also your hormones. Hopefully he'll be understanding and supportive. Definitely don't break up with him over this! He's not doing anything to cause it, and not being with him won't make you feel any better.

[kiara_silver]

Normally im more sensitive when im on my cycle. I've had moments where the littlest things effect and bug me. Or i'll cry or get paranoid. During when he was so busy and we didn't talk, I was extra emotional putting thoughts in my head during those times. He kind of knows to just be sweet and remember its my hormones lol. So I would suggest talking to him, let him know your extra sensitive during these times.
But like someone mentioned. Are you on the pill? That totally effected my moods, and my SO told me as well, I would be up and down from happy to sad. Could look into that. But you hope feel better and talk things through. You guys can work it out.

[MissVampyxo]

Yes but I made an appointment to go tomorrow and I'm going to tell my doctor about all of this. I've been on it for about 11 months now, and just in the past few months have I realized I'm starting to turn into a nutcase on my period lol!

---------- Post added at 02:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 02:32 PM ----------

Yes I've told him about this and he already knows that I'm in gerenal an emotional person. I've been my worst this week and I just hate telling him my feelings though because I obviously want to break up with him - but for no good reason! I have so much stress and nerves going on that it's affecting us but I do tell him and he says he still wants to try even if I don't want to. He understands but I think it'd be better for both of us if I could find a way to control these emotions!

[ushiwakafox]

I've always had bad symptoms when on my period, and even when I'm not. They got especially bad when my relationship with my SO changed to LD. Cramps were unbearable, I was crying all the time, I had very low confidence, my face was always broken out, I got ovarian cysts, and my flow was very heavy. I also just could not handle any negativity. And my SO is just naturally a teaser, and I would always get so butthurt about everything. We fought a lot, and the morning after the fight I would always realize how ridiculous I was being.
When I moved back to my SO, I starting taking birth control pills. I started them for protection, but they've significantly helped my mood, my breakouts, everything. My period isn't painful anymore, and my SO and I don't fight almost at all anymore because I can joke with him and have fun. Even when I'm away on vacation for weeks at a time, I'm still calm and stable. I haven't tried to get a diagnosis, and I really don't care to. I take Yaz, maybe you could try it out. Although it's worth noting that it took a good two months for the full effects, and my body went nuts when I was first put on them. But it was definitely worth it for me.

[Sano]

Oh I know exactly how you feel! lol With me one of two things happen

1.) I get into a perpetual state of irritation and no matter what I do until I get like a chocolate fix or adequate amounts of extra sleep I almost don't want to deal with anybody and I know I take it out on my SO a good majority of the time. I just want to sleep and be in bed the whole time because Im usually really cold in the beginning. He'll be like "I love you so much" and then in my head I'll be like "unless you are made of chocolate STFU" but I just think I hate everyone in general for a few days including babies .... I hate hate HATE babies when I have PMS lol

or

2.) I'll get really blue or depressed and want him really bad. Im pretty sure he likes these times better. Its just a little difficult not being in the same city or remotely close enough to drive to for the week and still get back and forth to work. I want his company really bad but I almost dont really want to call him because I dont want to talk. I just want to be near him ...quietly absorbing his body heat.


I know I read that you should avoid making serious decisions about your relationship when you're PMS and on you're period because your hormones are off and could lead you to make regrettable decisions. The only thing I do is stock up on dark chocolate because its scientifically proven to lighten your mood and tell your SO about your PMS. Also I dont take anything during pms but pain killers for the cramps but I do drink Peppermint tea and Tension Tamer tea because they do help calm you down and make your cramps lessen. I let my SO know how I get when I have PMS

I remember I sent him a text that said "I secretly hate you" and he replied with "PMS. Im patient enough to wait til next thursday when you love me again"

good luck XD

[floridaellen]

I remember I sent him a text that said "I secretly hate you" and he replied with "PMS. Im patient enough to wait til next thursday when you love me again"

Awww your SO sounds like a great guy! I have a mood disorder, although unrelated to my period, and my SO has had to say similar things.

I'm happy that you're going to see your doctor. Your doctor should suggest some treatment options for you.