Nerves before visit- still about 2 months away!

[MissVampyxo]

So I'm going to be visiting him for the first time and I'm so nervous and my anxiety is horrible! I just stopped my period which if anyone has been noticing I've been posting a lot because I'm going insane.

That big knot in my stomach just won't go away, I go June 20th and I didn't get a ticket back home. I feel like it might be easier so I'm not worrying about the days we have left but now I'm afraid because it might be worse when I do have to buy the ticket home.
I don't want to come back home without him, our last visit tore me apart to pieces and I've been a completely different emotionally damaged person since then. I'm so scared about this time. I've never been on a plane, or visited anywhere by myself. I've been to florida with family YEARS ago, but I'm just so scared. I want my mom to go with me. I was planning on moving there if I like it but I really don't want to be the one to move. Neither of us have our lifes together..he's started college and I'm graduating this June. I feel like if he would move here - I worry because it's like he's REALLY going to be here, all the time. There won't be any leaving and he'll just be here. I think it'd be easier if maybe he'd have enough money to get his own place here. I don't know if I can handle any of this and I feel like I need to just end it now...I don't want to move but I'm afraid of him moving here and him just you know .. not leaving. I feel like such a mess but I love him so damn much. I just don't know if I can handle a LDR when it comes to us moving and living together. Though I don't want to go more years without being together. :/

Should I end it? I don't know if I can handle it and I'm just so scared about everything.

[LoveJ]

I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now. My first question is, why does it scare you that he'd be around all the time?
If you aren't sure that you want him around all the time, it sounds like maybe it could be in your best interest to really step back and decide if you really want to be in the relationship. I know you love him, but if the thought of him being right there with you fills you with fear instead of excitement, then there's something going on at a deeper level.

When it comes to the traveling part, don't let that bother you. Flying is fun as hell and you'll get to see somewhere new and experience a whole battery of new things. That's the fun part. And you'll get to spend time with him. I would suggest though, that when you're with him, pretend as though you're living together. See how you feel about it. If it gives you that sick-to-your-stomach dread feeling, it's not right. If it feels comfortable and just the way your life is supposed to be, then go home and start working out with him scenarios where you can live in the same city. You may just not be ready to live with him yet, which is fine, but if him not going home again scares you, then maybe it just means there's someone better for you out there.

I know it can all be scary, but if it feels wrong in any way (like him being there and not leaving), then it's more than just being nervous about change. Use the time between now and your trip to think about if this is what you really want for your life, regardless of how much you love him. If it is, your fear will go away. If it isn't, your fear will grow. Just listen to your heart, but most of all your intuition. We're all here for you through this.

[MissVampyxo]

I think it just really scares me because we've only seen each other twice. I always see people say when they first move into together fights can start and it's really frustraiting. The first visit was only for about 2 weeks and the second was about 2 weeks as well. If either of us move- we'll be living with the others parents. I'm just 17 and this is all really scary for me and I'm just worried that if we'll make the other move then within just a few days it won't work out and we'll break up. My gut is telling me to maybe break up with him but I'm also still really emotional and kind of pmsing still. When I think of breaking up with him I don't see a point. He's what keeps me happy and it feels right for us to be together.. I know that I'll immediately run back to him and he will do the same. This is just all a lot of pressure and stress on me and the fact that I'm an emotional person makes it even worse. And I also can't break his heart, I couldn't do that to him. My heart tells me to stay with him and that these feelings will pass buy my gut is just scared as hell.

[Haley53]

Is it possible you're simply not ready to move in with him?

You have only met one another on two separate occasions for two weeks at a time, which is hardly enough time to get to know one another in person and hardly enough time to get used to living with one another in person. You're anxious about the fact that people have mentioned fighting can happen when moving in together, and for a lot of people, it can and does, because you're having to get used to different styles of communication and of having to be around one another all the time (which seems like a luxury, but practically speaking, you're both going to need alone time at some point point or another), on top of all the stress that comes with moving and being in a new place, a new location, and being away from friends/family. It's not an easy adjustment by any means and the fact you're frustrated over the fact that you and he might fight makes me wonder if you're ready to take this on.

On top of that, you said it yourself, neither of you have your lives figured out. You don't necessarily want to move there, because it's frightening, but you don't want him to move to you, either, because then "he'd just be there." You're stressing out about whether or not you're able to handle it, and I don't know if it's all down to PMS, despite what you described, because you're bringing up what are very real and valid concerns, least of which is not the fact you don't want to move. If you're moving there with the intention of being with your partner, and that's that, then you're going to be extremely unhappy and it's going to make the transition even more difficult. Yes, someone has to make the sacrifice somewhere along the line, but there are a ton of factors that go into that, and neither one, whoever is moving, should say, "I really, really don't want to be the one to move." You're scared of being away from your mother and that's hard for most who make the decision willingly, let alone the ones who feel they have to for one reason or another.

What's wrong with waiting? Being stressed out and anxious about it is only going to make the transition harder and it could easily be the trigger that turns the CD fight into regular fighting. You're only 17. You're very, very young. You sound completely dependent on this man and that's not healthy. I honestly see more complications happening for you with the move than if you waited until you were both ready and in more stable places to handle it. I don't mean to sound harsh with this, either, but if you can't even afford seeing a therapist to help you work through some of these emotional issues, how are you going to afford actually being independent and supporting yourself on your own?

[MissVampyxo]

It's just neither of us really want to wait anymore, I don't really have anything else in my life that is that special to me and it's always been like this. Plus his college has a program I'd like to study into whereas here in Ohio there isn't one. So if I would stay here there's nothing for me to 'figure out' because I don't want to go into a program that I'm not interested in. Neither of us really have big social lives, we're both like the same person in opposite ways. We're homebody's and like each others company. Neither of us rarely go out, especially me. I'm computer schooled so I don't have many friends, and I want my life to start but it's hard when he lives miles away and he's not here to enjoy it with me.