A girl he use to like is comeing over what....???

[Gemini]

Okay so........ i just found out yesterday his old friend is comeing over....happens to be a girl.........and when i asked if he liked her before he admited it..........they havent seen each other in years........and she just graduated makeing her all reliable apon i guess you could say.......right now im pukeing and i have diahrea and god i dun feel good and thinking about it is makeing me sicker.....i dont even know what to do about this she is comeing over today to play video games and chat >_< im not likeing this at all....but should i accept it....? he said he is only letting her visit once in awhile but he stated on a forum she was going to be at his house a lot during summer

im really frustrated what should i do

[Caitlin2009]

dont worry about it. if you trust him you know nothing bad will happen

[Gemini]

i do trust him i guess....i dont trust her is all....thank you for the reply

[garnet]

The forum thing seems a little strange? But I had a guy friend that I had a thing for, for years... and then I didn't see him for many years. Eventually we did reunite, and we had both changed over the years you know? Still friends, but all the old stuff, that was long in the past. Unless your boyfriend gives you a reason not to trust him, I think you should give them the chance to hang out. Video games and catching up is good times with an old friend, and his devotion is for you right? This visit will just be time spent with an old friend. Since you trust him, if SHE does something wrong, if your trust is well placed, he will put an immediate stop to it. I'm sorry you're so worried. I understand it, but I can see his side here too.

[maja]

:/ id react just like you do right now...and then tell myself that im being a bit silly and try to calm down a little. I dont think being sick really helps, so maybe wait a bit til ur feeling better again and then rethink the whole thing...my bf often meets girls hes had stuff with in the past and tbh i really dont like it(im really very jealous but always try not to show it), but i know he loves me more than anything ever and im really ashamed of doubting that sometimes. Just calm down a bit, because anger/sadness wont help your body recover

[Desya]

I have a very similar situation. My SO is talking to a girl she hasn't spoken to in years. They used to like each other but had a falling out. She even admitted to loving her. They are talking online again finally and while my jealous side is screaming I also know that this will make my SO happier. She's felt very bad about how their friendship ended.

I understand it's hard, but you just have to have faith that your SO will remain faithful to you. I know you may not trust the girl, but it takes two to tango as it were. He is strong enough to resist anything she may bring. Even if he has lingering feelings, his ones for you will outweigh them.

Good luck! And get better soon!

[Yei&Jon]

Wow, there's always a thread that relates to my situations here. My SO just told me that he's going to Seattle this summer to visit one of his best friends, which, of course, it's a girl. A girl that not too long ago confessed that she was in love with him and at some point, he also liked her. I understand his side because, as he's always told me, that's one of his best friends in the whole world but my jealous side just wants to kill someone. And, just like OP said; I trust him, it's HER I don't trust cause I don't know her enough to do so. Heck, I even tried to talk to her once because she wasn't feeling well emotionally, but she didn't let me or just wasn't interested. I also wrote her an apology for something that happened and no reply either, so I kinda gave up. I did it for my SO but it was a try and fail, not to mention, a slap in the face. My SO has reassured me that nothing will happen, but I'm still uneasy to the idea.

So, I understand what you're going through. Can't exactly give you advice on it cause, well, I'm as stuck as you are but I do hope that you feel better at least. Good luck.

[Desya]

Wow, there's always a thread that relates to my situations here. My SO just told me that he's going to Seattle this summer to visit one of his best friends, which, of course, it's a girl. A girl that not too long ago confessed that she was in love with him and at some point, he also liked her. I understand his side because, as he's always told me, that's one of his best friends in the whole world but my jealous side just wants to kill someone. And, just like OP said; I trust him, it's HER I don't trust cause I don't know her enough to do so. Heck, I even tried to talk to her once because she wasn't feeling well emotionally, but she didn't let me or just wasn't interested. I also wrote her an apology for something that happened and no reply either, so I kinda gave up. I did it for my SO but it was a try and fail, not to mention, a slap in the face. My SO has reassured me that nothing will happen, but I'm still uneasy to the idea.

So, I understand what you're going through. Can't exactly give you advice on it cause, well, I'm as stuck as you are but I do hope that you feel better at least. Good luck.

This is offtopic, but my SO lives in Seattle! I understand about not trusting the girl though. Luckily the one my SO used to like is here in michigan with me so I don't have to worry about them seeing each other at least. They just talk over xanga or facebook or something

[Gemini]

thank you for all the comments im kinda.....feeling a bit better about the situation not much though........i guess its awkward in a way i told him itd be diffrent if he didnt like her before i probably wouldnt be freaking out......he seemed hostile towards me though when i kepted asking questions....he did say he might be hanging out with her a lot this summer too.........i dont know why its jealousy and that she is right there and im not? i dont really trust her but he says she is a good person.........kinda makes me bleh too when i asked if she was pretty and he agree'd....im not really likeing this a lot......but i guess i do understand him.....i dont know though but she goes on the bus im not sure how long it takes her to see him?and if they do it a lot im going to be suspicious i guess i am scared they will get too close....and he had another friend who was a girl he liked before and was fantasizing about them being together he told me that........so this isnt makeing it easy on me at all

thank you for all the get wells i really appreciate it ^^ im feeling better but still not so much on the whole situation.......i talked to my mom about it and she thinks the whole situation is awkward........my mom is a very straight forward person she said if that was happening to her she would say "you ether break ties with me or her" sorta thing.........

[Obsydian]

Oh god I'd be freaking out. I trust my guy though, he told me a girl he used to like years back that never loved him contacted him recently and wanted to be together, and he outright told her he was taken. What a relief. Just keep in contact with him, and if he's devoted to you nothing should happen. I can understand you not trusting her though, I'd feel miserable if this girl went to go hang out with my guy...

[Lunar Snow]

I hope you feel better, too.

Given more information about what he has said about other girls in the past, I would feel like you are feeling, too. When I had a jealous freak out awhile ago, I talked to my sister and she pointed out that I shouldn't have to feel psycho for feeling that way and that, sometimes, the people we are with create the situations in which we feel jealous. So, it wasn't exactly encouraging of my relationship, but it did give me some peace of mind to think that (based on how the situation was going down) I wasn't really over-reacting to be upset about how he had handled things. It does take two to tango and I think that goes for the creation of jealousy, as well as the usual reference of whether or not something will happen between one's SO and a temptress.

Like...my guy just happens to be best friends with all these really pretty or hot girls. Boo! I have never met them. Anyway, there is this one, whom I dislike so strongly, that I would likely pull her hair out if I met her (and I am requested to meet her if I go visit him). I feel like its sort of a situation, where she is very used to him taking her around to different events, etc....generally going out of his way for her (which sort of indicates that there is something in it for both of them...any guy friend I have had who lets a girl treat him like that, wants in her pants). Anyway, he was taking her for an overnight trip to see their other best friend (female) and her bf in a neighbouring city, plus they were all going to the symphony or something. I felt massively ill, just like you, because he set the situation up for jealousy (there's more to the story of this girl, but I'm attempting to be brief!)--he didn't tell me where they would be staying or even simple details that would have been courteous. So, my imagination went wild and pictured them sharing a hotel room together and him getting lonely and her wanting to keep him on the hook to chauffeur her around, so I was worried something really devastating (for me) would happen...ah! I ended up asking very calmly, sweetly, and nonchalantly to hear more about his trip in detail and it turned out that they would be staying at the other girl's place. So, I felt better, but still kind of nervous all weekend. He ended up phoning me and texting me a few times and the when he came home, and on his own volition, he told me how annoying that girl was and that he couldn't take her in large doses and how their friendship wasn't very deep beyond just doing stuff out together! So, I know it was kind of nasty to be pleased about that, but I was and kind of still am.

I guess the point of that was that the situation was such that there was a lack of open communication and boyfriendly courtesy on his part and an overuse of my imagination on my part. Sometimes asking to clarify things that are awkward or painful is very necessary, especially from a distance. Just find someone to talk to who can calm you down enough to discuss information in a more objective way; that "person" might actually be coming to this forum and realizing other people have the same experiences. So, I know this doesn't get rid of Ms. Temptress or feelings of jealousy, but maybe it will give some hope that communication can reduce jealousy.