It's better to have loved and lost

[sewbama]

Subeasly, thank you. I hope to have that kind of closure if (when) ever I have to lose someone so close to me.

I've often worried about the death of my SO. He gets sick quite often and has a condition that causes him to dehydrate VERY easily. So a simple fever could actually kill him (and has come close to it before). That kind of loss... I would be so thankful for the love. And I don't know how I'd get up again. But I'm sure I would, because he'd want it.

But other "loves" I've felt and lost, I'm not sure I wouldn't have been better off without. Except for that I'm the kind of person that doesn't regret things. All those heartbreaks got me here with him. So I can't say they weren't worth it. But immediately following them, I never would have thought that. I learned something important from each heart break, and how I reacted to it. I wouldn't trade that knowledge for anything.

[Dauntedpoet]

So what do you think? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Yes absolutely. Those of you that have read my blogs on occasion know, I wrote the first love letter of my life to my SO in 2002. I closed the letter with.. 'how bad can it really be, to know someone, somewhere an ocean away, thinks the world of you and loves you with no expectations.' He politely refused, with a hope we could stay friends. I knew he loved me, but wasn't ready, might never be ready, but I was afraid I'd die or he'd die without my having told him.

My world was, and will always be, a better place just because he exists, even if I am not part of his life.

Finding the other half of my soul is a gift, even if its not mine to keep, I will always remember what it was like to have my soul complete for a time.

Each time I loved, or thought I loved someone in the past, I learned from the experience, and grew as a person. I often think about how completely tragic it would have been to have met my SO when I was 25 instead of 38. We never would have even liked each other, much less loved each other. Having loved and lost, made us who we are, and shaped our hearts to fit each other's perfectly.

[FadedSunrise]

@kirbycat and kittyo9

I guess my opinion on the issue has a lot to do with my personal experience. While my ex and I were together for almost a year, we didn't have a single visit within that time. Before we got together, we only spent about 3 weeks in close interaction(going out just the two of us). Before I could ever see him again the relationship and contact was over for good. I just feel like I didn't even come away with anything-I gambled and lost a friendship over something that, personally, seems totally unreal to me now for the fact that it lacked a single ounce of physical contact during the relationship period.

Sure, I learned stuff about what personal qualities I wanted out of a future partner, and what things I didn't want, but I didn't want to learn it at that price.

I'm kind of just a bitter and bad person but this experience definitely makes me even more careful about entering any relationship, but especially about turning a good friendship into one.