Always worried

[Arretez]

Almost every day at some point I worry about my SO telling me she can't stand a long distance relationship any longer. Before we started dating she told me she didn't want to do long distance but eventually told me she didn't want to not be in a relationship with me. At the beginning of our relationship she would tell me how she has physical needs such as being able to hold my hand, kiss me, etc. When things weren't going so great one time she told me "I can't do this forever you know." She has told me "I don't think I'm ever coming back to Texas,' and it made me think that she thought we will never be able to see each other again, and that we should stop wasting our time. Her displayed disdain for the distance has died down more as the relationship has progressed. Some times she makes me feel like she would go to the ends of the earth to be with me but other times it seems like she feels like it just isn't worth it. I don't know if I should tell her that I worry about this all the time, basically I have no idea what I should do. Help?

[redapple]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with being in a LDR and I think that you should definitely talk to her about your worries if it's getting you as down as your post sounds. However one thing to consider or ask is why she's so negative, I'm currently waiting for my SO to leave but despite being madly in love with him, having a solid relationship and truly believing that we will survive (well most of the time anyway ) I've been very negative with him about our future. It's just the way my insecurities have some out a think.

Just some of the things I've done (not all of which I'm proud of so stick with me): I've pushed the point that its possible that both of us will meet other people, told him that I don't know if I can survive that long apart, told him I'm not sure we will be able to find time or be bothered to speak to each other... Well you get the idea, very negative stuff coming from a very in love girl! Any of this sound familiar?! Maybe she's just as worried about it as you but her worrying is coming out as closing herself off to you and just being negative. Try not to think the worst xx

[lala]

yes talk to her deffinetely!!
My SO had those concerns too. He said that he is head over heels for me but because I'm going away he can't have a relationship. We also didn't know if we would see eachother again. We are both also young (23) and haven't finished our studies yet.. moreover he had two relationships where the girls broke his heart and he was really afraid of that.. we had a really rough time with those insecurities.. and we needed our time to figure out what we want.We talked a lot about it and in the end I'm happy we did, cause it makes both of us feel better..
so go and talk to her!

[Softy]

Talk with her, communication is the key to any relationship (regardless of the distance).

I understand her about the physical part (how one needs to hug, kiss and hold hands).
Sometimes it's hard not to have our bf/gf next to us to hold.

But if you both talk to each other, cheer up each other and make plans to see each other.
Everything will be just fine

cheers

[temporaryuser]

i assume you are both in school? Did you meet online or in the same area? Can you not plan visits to see each other? or even meet halfway somewhere? Planning visits makes it much more bearable.
i won't lie, the distance is hard. Open communication is a must. i am sure we all have thos same insecurities at times. But being able to talk to your so about them and offer reassurance is a help. Text, email, phone calls, skype, postal mail, whatever your preference, you just have to communicate with each other.

[Arretez]

We both went to school together until her parents made her move, so she is working now. She is going to visit me sometime over the summer.

Anyways, earlier this week she told me everything was not okay and that she didn't feel good. She later told me that she felt apathetic about everything and felt like she lost all her happiness, and that it might be her depression. So I've been trying my best to help her get through this. I talked to her about my worries today. She told me that she loved me as she did care about me but that her emotions were just numb right now. She told me not to worry and that I wouldn't lose her because of the distance. She also said that sometimes she feels like it isn't temporary. Finally, I asked her why she stopped texting me good night recently out of curiosity an she said "I told you, I've just kind of stopped caring."

[Softy]

She told me that she loved me as she did care about me

Finally, I asked her why she stopped texting me good night recently out of curiosity an she said "I told you, I've just kind of stopped caring."

Seems your girl has issues yes, is she seeking help?

[Arretez]

Not that I know of. I guess I'm just trying to figure out how to handle this in the best possible way.