In need of advice... :S

[Xanahtas]

Long story short;

My SO's dad used to work as a Manager of hotels in Dubai. His friend recently got to a high position and has said he can hook my SO up with a chef job over there. Everything is paid for (acomodation, food, bills etc, even the wedding would be paid for) and the lifestyle is just amazing. My SO really wants to go for this job. I'd then be moving over to Dubai with him next May instead of Canada just before i turn 18.

Im just very unsure about it. Its such a big change, the lifestyle, the climate, the laws, the whole place is so different. I'd have no one there i know, unlike in Canada. I dont know what i should do, and if i should stop being unsure and say he should go for it.

I guess im all confused and im wondering if im letting an amazing chance go because im just being silly? Or am i actually not being stupid and im right to be unsure?

Anyone been/lived to Dubai? Advice?

Thanks

Just an edit:
The money he will make is tax free, so he'd be earning more as well

[snow_girl]

My friend lives there. You can't live with a man unless you are married to him, I can't remember the other laws. No alcohol unless you have a permit I think. I'll ask her.

[kteire]

I've been to Dubai, and it's lovely, but here's my experience of it:

It's a massively westernised city, where there are huge communities of ex-pats from Canada, the US, the UK, etc. It's a very segregated place, because the non-wealthy Arabic population are treated very poorly and have a much worse standard of living. It's a very fun place if you stick to Jumeirah and don't venture into the Arabic quarter. You can get incredible, cheap food, lots of fun knock-off clothes and bags, and there are some very cool souqs with lots of amazing things!

That being said, I had one of the most disturbing experiences of my life there. I had been in the area by the Dubai Museum with friends, and we were all (from a western perspective) conservatively dressed. Long skirts, etc. The men in the area started swarming around us and grabbing at us, spitting at us and calling us pigs, whores, etc. We had to make a run for the river boats, and push men off who tried to get into our ferry. That won't happen to everyone who visits Dubai, but it shook me a lot, and I would think twice about going back there because of it.

I personally would not live there, but this was a few years ago, so I don't know how it's changed since then. It's a very conservative place, with very harsh laws, with the façade of being western and friendly. Fun to be there for a while, but I wouldn't consider it long term.

[temporaryuser]

You need to really research their laws before considering it, especially at your age. Are you planning to continue your education? Is this a short or long term job opportunity? How hard is it to get a visa to get in/out? You will just be closing the distance, are you sure you want to add the extra stress of living in a country foreign to both of you? What if you get there and then you two start having problems in the relationship?
Just things to think about.

[Lilly9886]

I really don't want to be (sound) mean.. but maybe you are just a little bit too young to make big decisions like that?
What happens in 1 year?
Why is he not working there for a year and you both see how it goes? He doesn't have to stay there forever...
I would suggest, just don't make any rash (sp?) decisions that you may regret later on..

[Xanahtas]

I've done a lot of research on laws, rules, good and bad places etc. My education is done this year so i dont need to worry about that.
My SO was born and raised there and moved to Canada when he was 10. He has many memories of it being a lovely place and all that.

If he was to get the job, it would be on contract for a year, and then can be extended. I still dont think im too happy about moving over there yet. Especially because we arent married.

I guess i have a week or so to think things over at least

[CynicalQuixotic]

I've been to Dubai, and it's lovely, but here's my experience of it:

It's a massively westernised city, where there are huge communities of ex-pats from Canada, the US, the UK, etc. It's a very segregated place, because the non-wealthy Arabic population are treated very poorly and have a much worse standard of living. It's a very fun place if you stick to Jumeirah and don't venture into the Arabic quarter. You can get incredible, cheap food, lots of fun knock-off clothes and bags, and there are some very cool souqs with lots of amazing things!

That being said, I had one of the most disturbing experiences of my life there. I had been in the area by the Dubai Museum with friends, and we were all (from a western perspective) conservatively dressed. Long skirts, etc. The men in the area started swarming around us and grabbing at us, spitting at us and calling us pigs, whores, etc. We had to make a run for the river boats, and push men off who tried to get into our ferry. That won't happen to everyone who visits Dubai, but it shook me a lot, and I would think twice about going back there because of it.

I personally would not live there, but this was a few years ago, so I don't know how it's changed since then. It's a very conservative place, with very harsh laws, with the façade of being western and friendly. Fun to be there for a while, but I wouldn't consider it long term.

This, this, and this. Dubai is really not the place to be for a Western, non-Muslim woman for more than a visit, unless you're living in a very insular expat subdivision.

[efish1042]

Glad you've done your research. Be very careful!
Don't forget that the middle east is a war zone! Dubai could easily become part of this.
This is a foreign country and a foreign culture. You could easily find yourself in a dangerous situation. Especially since you're so young. Have you talked to your family about this?

[Xanahtas]

I have spoken to family and they think its a chance to actually make up some money for us. Me and the SO have been discussing it, i think we're slowly coming around to an agreement on things...

[lucybelle]

I think it's a great opportunity for the both of you. Everything could be wonderful, and everything could crash and burn. Those are the types of experiences you need to have when you're young and you still have parents who are willing to bail you out. It's certainly going to be a dramatic change for you- culture, language, laws, living with your SO, everything. But if that's what you want to go for, go for it.

Also, I'm surprised he'd be making a lot more money there. I've heard Dubai is extremely expensive.

[Sora1101]

I think your SO should take the job, get settled in and then you could visit him, see how you like it if you would enjoy living there etc. This is a great opportunity for him but that doesn't mean you'd have to move in with him immediately, yeah it would suck expanding the time LD but at least you wouldn't end up in a bad situation.

[Haley53]

Because I'm torn on this one, I'll say simply that if you decide to move, move for the right reasons. Move because you want the adventure, because you want the experience, because you want to have it with your SO. Don't move because he got offered a contract for a year, which would otherwise extend your plans of marriage. Don't move based on a rushed decision that you still want to stubbornly stick to the plans of moving in together and getting married. I'm well aware of your arguments for getting married so young and that your parents are behind you, and that's great, because I think parental support will come in handy if you do decide to move, but please don't reject the fact that you are 16. There is time for you to wait out another year before getting married, in which case he'll have (hopefully) saved up money (though to be honest I have never heard of anyone being in a well off place making money abroad, simply because of the costs of the visa, living, etc.) and you'll be able to move to somewhere that's more comfortable. I'm not advocating staying and extending the distance for another year, but I am saying if you do go for it, make sure you're doing it for the right reasons and not all and only because of Sud.

[kteire]

Also, I'm surprised he'd be making a lot more money there. I've heard Dubai is extremely expensive.

The thing with Dubai is that apart from the palm islands and the world islands, all land and properties are owned by the sheik. Most jobs provide a house, and often servants. The family I was visiting there had a MASSIVE house with tons of marble flooring and a pool, and a butler, and the mum didn't work, and the dad was a teacher. The family I stayed with had a mansion, and my friend and I had our own wing and our own servant that came with the house (a bit messed up...) and they were slightly more wealthy, but more upper-middle class, not filthy rich. If you get a good job, you can get amazing, free accommodation and still make a lot of money! And it's cheap if you know the right places to shop I was there 2 weeks and spent less than $400 on eating out EVERY day, and taxis and shopping.

[Xanahtas]

This was first mentioned over a week ago now (even tho i only posted last night, lol) . I've been thinking about it so much.

We have decided he should take the job in Dubai if he manages to get hooked on one. I think it will be a great chance for an adventure and the experience will be something that might not come around again. I am a bit worried about it, purely because its such a big change for me.

Since he'd be working in one of the major hotels, we'll have a house given to us with everything paid for. We wont need to spend much money on anything (like clothes and things we need) so this is a chance to get money together to set us up for a while. Also on the up side, the hotel will also pay for the wedding (His parents had a huge wedding and didnt pay a penny) so we might decide to have the wedding there if we felt we wanted to. This wont really affect our wedding plans much, we still would have the option to go to Canada if we still wanted it there.

I think the basic plan if all goes well, is for him to come visit me earlier than we thought, possibly this month for a couple of weeks, and then go do Dubai after. I can visit him 2 or 3 times and then move out there around June time next year. Just have to work out the plans for visas and look a bit more into it.

I've been doing more research and talking to people who i know who haved moved there to work and they have said its been the best time of their lives. I've always wanted to visit and i know Sud is dieing to go back to where he grew up, so its a good chance for both of us

I also think i'll make the effort to maybe try and learn basic arabic! May as well make the most of being there :P

Thanks for all the advice, i guess i was just over thinking things and forgot the fact its an amazing chance for us >.<

[corrda00]

I had a friend in a LDR who after getting married moved with his wife to South Korea, and Scotland before eventually returning to Canada.

So not everything is permanant, especailly if you're making good money.