How to deal with the pain of a LDR?

[Grace785]

This is my last summer home because my fiance is going to Germany for six weeks and then to the reserves for another 6 weeks. While in Germany, he can't talk to me often because of the time difference and he has school. I also will be working (once I find a crappy summer job). and my schedule will conflict with the times we would be able to talk. When he is in the reserves, he may be able to talk to me sometimes during the week and then he'll be able to talk on the weekends.
The summer has just started. It is day 3. I am still having a rough time. My stomach hurts. I can't eat. I can't sleep in. I can't be alone. When does this feeling go away? How do I deal with it?

[snow_girl]

Keep busy. Go out with friends, take up a hobby. Don't sit around and dwell on how many days left till he is home. Yea it sucks, but you can still send emails. When my SO was in Germany and I was in Canada for three months I looked forward so much waking up to an email from him and he'd always rush home from work to get an email from me. You still have the weekends to skype, it will take some getting used to but it isn't a permanent thing him being in a different time zone. Most importantly though, get out and do something!

[Softy]

Snow_girl said it all
Just make sure you keep busy, it's the best way to survive the wait.
Keep smiling and keep strong

[temporaryuser]

yep, you have got to stay busy to keep your mind off it. Having a job will help - it will give you something else to focus on. You can still send emails or IM's and he can get them when he is able to. Thats the nice thing about technology. Unlike a phone call, these will be waiting for him when he can retrieve them.
Ask him to send some pics if he is able. That way you can have more a part of his life while he is away. You can see what he is seeing.

[Grace785]

I have been trying to keep myself busy the last few days by looking for jobs. I hung out with a friend last night. I feel a little better when ging out. But when I get back to the house, it hits me again and time slows down. Does this go away soon?

[snow_girl]

Does this go away soon?

Everyone is different. I didn't have a hard time with the distance while others do. There is not a magical day you stop hurting.

[Grace785]

That makes sense. People are different. I didn't think I would have such a hard time though. I just got used to seeing him every day. It's my frist time doing a LDR. maybe a magical day will come when I stop hurting. fingers crossed

[LoveL]

Can you guys write letters?
Do it the old fashioned way.

[Kiyama]

I can relate. I stayed with my SO for three months before I went back to Germany and after having him around every day the change was massive and I still have problems with it, especially after a visit. The best advice is what you already got. Keep yourself busy. Go out a lot, chat to friends, start a new hobby. I know it doesn't take your mind of things completely but it makes it more bearable and time goes by much quicker

[Grace785]

I suppose we could write letters too. I would have to ask him about it. I just don't know when I can talk to him again to get addresses. :/

[Dauntedpoet]

Does this go away soon?

Lucybelle is right everyone is different, for me, it takes about a month. The first week is absolute hell, I'm in a daze just going through the motions of the day and I write in my journal. The second week, I can sort of breathe again, and I force myself to do all the things I don't want to, going out, going to the gym, being with friends, renting movies, reading books, cleaning the house SUPER clean,and I write in my journal, but I'm totally bleak. The third week, I can actually start to remember what normal is, start wanting to do the things I've forced myself to do, writing in my journal, and I find myself smiling more and bleak far less. By the fourth week, I feel almost normal, still achingly lonely, but its manageable, LDR normal, he is more than worth it, I love him more than any distance or time apart can alter. You will find your footing, just be kind to yourself, allow yourself time, and stay busy.

[Katelyn313]

Even though Dylan and I see each other very often (every two weeks or so) it's still awful when we have to part ways. To alleviate the loneliness, I set up family time so they don't get jealous when I do spend time with him. For example, every Wednesday, my sister and I get together and have sister time. I try to make sure I don't talk about Dylan and she tries not to talk about her SO. We talk about the family, our college courses, etc. It's a struggle, definitely, to not think about Dylan or talk about him, but I try hard.

Also, Dylan and I started a journal. We both wrote a long letter in the beginning and now, we've been writing a few sentences each day. It's been really nice to be able to get a few of my feelings out each day. I write like I'm writing to him and it makes me feel closer. I really look forward to getting the journal back with all of his thoughts in it. Also, it'll be good to look back on when we're finally CD and see our struggles and what we went through to make it. If you can't do the sending the journal back and forth, you could get one and write in it and maybe see if he wants to do the same thing (if he has time... The military keeps you busy ) For me, it helps to get my thoughts down on paper.

And like everyone else said, get a hobby (I cross stitch and read), go to the gym (yuck, but I'm trying) and just remember who YOU are. It'll get easier, there's just no telling when. Hang in there, we're all here for you!!

[LoveJ]

This is my last summer home because my fiance is going to Germany for six weeks and then to the reserves for another 6 weeks. While in Germany, he can't talk to me often because of the time difference and he has school. I also will be working (once I find a crappy summer job). and my schedule will conflict with the times we would be able to talk. When he is in the reserves, he may be able to talk to me sometimes during the week and then he'll be able to talk on the weekends.
The summer has just started. It is day 3. I am still having a rough time. My stomach hurts. I can't eat. I can't sleep in. I can't be alone. When does this feeling go away? How do I deal with it?

The beginning is always the worst. It won't always feel like this. Every day, you get a little more familiar and comfortable with the situation, and you start a pattern of talking to each other, so you get a better idea of what your day will look like and when you know you can talk to each other. You'll get into a groove and when you do, it definitely won't feel anywhere near this painful. It might take a bit of time, but it won't last long. <3

[efish1042]

The beginning is always the worst.

Omg yes. This is so true. And if you get to visit, every time you leave / have just left is like the worst all over again. It hurts. It hurts bad... but you get somewhat used to being alone. Making yourself go on. Living from one day to the next. Get into a pattern of life. It gets easier. And remember this forum is full of love and support for you. Just be more stubborn than the distance

[lonelyinlove]

I agree completely with snow_girl, you just have to stay busy & continue to live ur life....