"Sorry I have been distant lately"

[Arretez]

So the title says it all. My SO and I have been together for nearly 5 months and about a month ago she told me she wasn't doing well and that it might be her depression. It seemed like she was doing better a week or two ago but then all of a sudden she started becoming distant, and she told me what the title says today. I had been trying hard to make time to talk and play video games with her, listen to anything she wanted to talk about, make her feel better, and just be there for her. I told her I would do anything I could to comfort and help her all the time and she told me she appreciates it but to not try so hard. So recently I haven't talked with her that much, mainly because she isn't talking back to me much. While she is at work she doesn't respond to a lot of my e-mails and when she is at home she hardly replies to my texts and doesn't want to play games online. When she does reply she tends to ignore what I said a lot as if I never said anything. I don't mind this for my sake, but I'm concerned about her and what this means about how she feels. She has told me "I love, even though I haven't shown it much lately" and told me that she really does care about me and things like that. It's all really confusing and I'm not sure what to think.

[Kiyama]

That's a tough one. Is she getting help with the depression? I've suffered from depression a couple of times in my life and both are the the worst memories I have. Someone who's never had it will have a hard time to understand what's going on with a depressed person. It isn't just "too feel bad". It sounds to me that she isn't out of the depression yet and you should give her time. I think it's great you're trying to be there for her and distract her. That's really important even if she doesn't respond the way you'd want it. Believe me, it's good for her. Keep doing it. Try and set specific dates for online games that she can have fun. To be active helps to get out of the depression. She says she still loves you so I wouldn't worry about that. The fact she doesnt respond that much and isn't too talkative is most definitely a result of the depression so be patient and keep supporting her.
Otherwise, if she hasn't done so already, she should seek professional help.
I hope she gets better soon!

[BabyDimples]

That's a tough one. Is she getting help with the depression? I've suffered from depression a couple of times in my life and both are the the worst memories I have. Someone who's never had it will have a hard time to understand what's going on with a depressed person. It isn't just "too feel bad". It sounds to me that she isn't out of the depression yet and you should give her time. I think it's great you're trying to be there for her and distract her. That's really important even if she doesn't respond the way you'd want it. Believe me, it's good for her. Keep doing it. Try and set specific dates for online games that she can have fun. To be active helps to get out of the depression. She says she still loves you so I wouldn't worry about that. The fact she doesnt respond that much and isn't too talkative is most definitely a result of the depression so be patient and keep supporting her.
Otherwise, if she hasn't done so already, she should seek professional help.
I hope she gets better soon!

My boyfriend is suffering from depression at the moment. It's confusing me, and I'm finding it a bit difficult to understand, but we are managing and I am doing my best to understand. He know's that I am here to talk to him whenever he needs me, and that I love him and just want him to be happy, but up until reading your post Kiyama, I was a bit stuck on things to make him feel better. So, thank you for that. Though, being active isn't really a luxury for him, and I think that more often than not, thinking about it makes him feel worse. Our (I say our, I mean mainly mine, but I think his too) concept of active, is things like sports. But, he suffered a really bad injury to his knee, and still has physcio. Because of this, he can't play sports with risking completely ruining his knee. So, it makes it difficult because he can't do one of the the main things that he enjoyed. I am doing my best to think of things that we can do together or that he can do, I even made a big presentation for him! If you have any advice or ideas, then I would really appreciate it if you could message me.

I think Arretez, that you just really need to give her time and be patient. Show your support, and just do your best to try and make her feel that she isn't alone and that you are there for her. This is really quite new to me, so I can't give much advice, but Kiyama has given great advice there!

[Arretez]

Kiyama you nailed it. This is exactly the advice that I needed. Thanks

[Sano]

I usually send one of those texts to my SO like every other month.

But with me its because I get two kinds of PMS. One month Im a little depressed and down and I want his company but I may not necessarily want to talk and the next month when I get PMS Im really irritable and I wont reply to his texts or messages as quickly if at all because Im just annoyed at everything and everyone and I dont want to hurt his feelings. Its not because Im mad at him or I dont want him around, its just that I think its a little easier on him if Im not taking out my frustrations out on him so I try not to talk to him that much during the week before Aunt Flo comes to visit. Then after that week, Im back to normal. Im not sure if that helps any but thats what happens to me.