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    Ok guys... I just hung up with him.

    Nothing happened with Stephanie (the exFWB), that's all behind.

    That being said, we're over.

    I cant say if it's definitive, he wants it to be that way, but i just cant give up that easy. Right now, im gonna give him time to settle his mind.

    I got home back from work, my ipod went online and i got this message from him saying "i have decided i am not very good for you alejandra"... I called him, and this is more or less what i got from him:

    *im not good enough for you
    *im a f*ck up
    *i dont deserve you
    *i dont want to hurt you but i know i will.
    *i cant do this LD. I wasnt able to do it within the same country, and it's just too much. I've had other online relationships in the past and it never worked.
    *dont try to talk me out of it.
    *if im anything like the man you think i am, i have to save you. Youre innocent and dont deserve to be trapped in my chaos.
    *this is the best thing i can do for you. You have been there for me all the time, but i cant drag you down with me.
    *you need to move on, stop thinking about me, go out with your friends, have fun, MOVE ON.
    *i love you so much. I care for you, and thats why im doing this. I owe you.
    *i cannot have you worry about me all the time. I worry about you being worried about me.
    *this is not fair for you.

    And i could go on and on... I said i would respect his decision, but i really wanted to be with him, i told him he's all i want... But he kept repeating the same thing... It was so heartbreaking, he was crying and i was (am) in shock.

    He said he doesnt know what will happen next, but right now that was what he should do, loving me the way he does.

    I tried to see if he still wanted to keep in touch. He said he does love talking to me, but at the moment he doesnt know what to do. I even offered to cool things off a little and just remain friends and I said i still wanted to go visit him but he said he didnt want me to put down myself like that for him.

    He's really depressed. I can see that and i do want to be there for him.

    My heart is broken, but im still holding to the love we have for each other... We know this is a once in a life time kind of love, but he's so depressed he can no longer see it and i dont know what to do to get him out of it.

    Anyway, thanks for all your support... I'll stick around if you dont mind, waiting for my soulmate to come back to me.

    “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

    #2
    I'm really, really sorry to hear this. Whatever you do, resist the urge to contact him for at least a few days, and let things cool down and this way both of you can get some perspective on everything. Stick around as long as you need to, you have all of our support. Take care of yourself, sweetie, it's important.
    Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein

    Comment


      #3
      I agree with Moon. Do take care, and I would also do what Moon says and keep out of contact for a while. <3 And of course you're always welcome at LFAD, but I would definitely take some time and keep yourself busy and distracted from him for a while.
      Last edited by Haley53; May 11, 2012, 08:26 PM. Reason: Fixed my post...
      { Our Story on LFAD }


      Our Beginning
      Met online: February 2009
      Feelings confessed: December 2010
      Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
      Officially together since: 08 April 2011

      Our Story
      First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
      Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
      Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
      Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

      Our Happily Ever After
      to be continued...

      Comment


        #4
        Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear about this. Definitely stay here; we'll take care of you. *hugs* I've had someone break up with me like that and it really does hurt. He's made up his mind for whatever reason. It wouldn't be good for you to wait for him. Watch some sad movies and eat a tub of ice cream. You're going to make it through this.


        Comment


          #5
          Dont worry Eclaire, i didnt see what you posted before, but it's ok... I always enjoy your posts

          “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by alesitag View Post
            Dont worry Eclaire, i didnt see what you posted before, but it's ok... I always enjoy your posts
            Well I'm not always the best with timing. Sometimes I get too analytical when all someone really needs is a big hug. I hope that you both figure it out and that you at least get the clarity you need in the situation. I do agree that you need to do your best not to focus on him. I know it can be hard thinking about moving on, about not waiting, and maybe you don't need to be (or can't be) at that point yet, but do make the focus of this you and yourself primarily. You'll need lots of TLC from alesitag currently.
            { Our Story on LFAD }


            Our Beginning
            Met online: February 2009
            Feelings confessed: December 2010
            Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
            Officially together since: 08 April 2011

            Our Story
            First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
            Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
            Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
            Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

            Our Happily Ever After
            to be continued...

            Comment


              #7
              Thank you.

              I just feel i lost not only my lover but also one of my best friends. I LOST MY ANGEL :'(

              Why did he have to see me as being so f*ing perfect? Why couldnt he see im not a better person than he is, but we're better together?

              “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

              Comment


                #8
                My heart is aching for you honey. I agree, take a few days, think things over carefully, if you decided you want to fight for him... which is what I would do.. consider me your wing man. I'm a fighter when it comes to my SO, and yes I've fought him over close to the same excuses.. yes they are excuses. The only thing you can't fight.. is if he doesn't love you.

                So if you do decide to 'go for it', you PM me. NOTHING is worth fighting for more than love.

                Everything I know, and anywhere I go, It gets hard but it won't take away my love,
                And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done, It gets hard but it won't take away my love

                sigpic

                Me without Him is like Son of Beast without the loop.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Trust me, i will fight for him... And i will really appreciate your help and support.

                  Thank you so much

                  “Laughing like children, living like lovers, rolling like thunder under the covers”

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Not much to add to what everyone already said, but I'm sorry *hugs*

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I really hate it when guys pull the "you deserve better than me" it's like you have to give them an ego boost AND deal with the fact that they are breaking up with you all at the same time. They need to get it out of their heads that its some heroic move, it's really not, If we didn't want to be with you we wouldn't be. You don't need to make my decision on whether you are 'good enough for me'. men..

                      Anyway, I really hope you are ok, he has given up at the first hurdle.. and Its better that you know NOW that he isn't going to work through issues, it'd be horrible to find that out down the line when you had really formed even stronger feelings.. We are all here for you and keep us updated on how you are going x
                      Met Online: February 2009
                      Feelings grew: January 2011
                      First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
                      Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
                      Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
                      Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
                      Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
                      Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
                      Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
                      Engaged: 1st of July 2012
                      Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
                      Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
                      Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
                      Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
                      Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
                      Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

                      Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by Jazi View Post
                        I really hate it when guys pull the "you deserve better than me" it's like you have to give them an ego boost AND deal with the fact that they are breaking up with you all at the same time. They need to get it out of their heads that its some heroic move, it's really not, If we didn't want to be with you we wouldn't be. You don't need to make my decision on whether you are 'good enough for me'. men..

                        Anyway, I really hope you are ok, he has given up at the first hurdle.. and Its better that you know NOW that he isn't going to work through issues, it'd be horrible to find that out down the line when you had really formed even stronger feelings.. We are all here for you and keep us updated on how you are going x
                        totally what I wanted to write right now!!! what I would do know is forget him- force not to think one sec. of him.. go out, do things with friends, flirt.. whatever.
                        if he loves you and is the right he would say such things... who knows maybe he has some other issues and really don't want to drag you in.. however I wish you the best cuty, and liek the others said, we are there for you. PM me if you like :*

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Sorry to hear this. You'll be ok! Hope you feel better soon.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Sorry to hear.
                            Like many others said, don't contact him for now.
                            Take time for yourself, take care of yourself and be around ppl who cares about you sweets!

                            *hugs*
                            ♡ ~~~~ 'When you find something worth fighting for, you never give up' ~~~~ ♡

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I'm so sorry to hear that! I think I cannot even imagine how you may feel.... :/
                              I'm also for what the others said, you should not contact him for some time.. give yourself time to think...
                              I hope you are ok (with the circumstances) :/


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