Um...wow...ok...

[BlackRoseOpal]

So this involves two things so it's kind of a rant.

I wanted to try something where I tested to see how long it took him to contact me first (I've always texted, messaged, emailed first). It's been about two weeks-- nothing. Apart from a comment on my status on Facebook, no private messages, no texts, nothing. He hasn't messaged me at ALL.

Additionally, I follow him on Tumblr. He KNOWS I follow him. He normally reblogs cute things like bunnies, stuff relating to Homestuck, and occasionally a cute girl with multi-colored hair or something like that, which doesn't bother me. I reblog Tom Hiddleston all the time :-P

But this time kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I got on Tumblr and one of the things he had reblogged was this Suicide Girl model (if you're not familiar with the company, basically models with lots of tattoos and not natural hair colors...in a nutshell) wearing only panties, sitting on a bed. Below that was the same girl in a very...erm...seductive pose...

His caption? "Gratuitous really smokin-hot girl appreciation post"

.....

[lyonsgirl]

Boys are dumb. I've tried to get my SO to contact me first-and have even told him that I would like it if he would text/call/message me first (or ask to get on Skype...). He just... doesn't. I still wish he would sometimes, but I want to talk to him. So I'll make the "first contact of the day". So I feel your struggle. Have you told him that you would like him to make the effort more often?

As for the 2nd thing? I repeat: boys are dumb.

[Yaaamiii]

Sounds like you two need to have a talk. And a serious one at that. Not contacting you at all for 2 weeks? I had that problem when my SO and I first started dating. He got really upset at me for it. I felt awful calling him because I felt like I was always bothering him or something. This was not the case. The Tumblr thing should also be addressed..at least to me, that's just offensive.

[snow_girl]

Was there a reason you decided to let him make first contact? Did you leave off on a bad note? I think you need to stop playing games and talk to him, maybe he thinks because he hasn't heard from you in two weeks you are mad at him and isn't sure what to say because you just all of the sudden stopped contact.

[BlackRoseOpal]

Was there a reason you decided to let him make first contact? Did you leave off on a bad note? I think you need to stop playing games and talk to him, maybe he thinks because he hasn't heard from you in two weeks you are mad at him and isn't sure what to say because you just all of the sudden stopped contact.

We didn't leave on a bad note, I just wanted to test and see if he even cared that I don't contact him. Now I'm kind of on a bad note because of the Tumblr thing...it just really hurt, but the little time we do talk I don't ever want to talk about something bad because that's how little we DO talk.

[lucybelle]

We didn't leave on a bad note, I just wanted to test and see if he even cared that I don't contact him. Now I'm kind of on a bad note because of the Tumblr thing...it just really hurt, but the little time we do talk I don't ever want to talk about something bad because that's how little we DO talk.

That's called game playing. And no one wins. You need to grow up and talk to the man if you have a problem.

[lala]

hmm I did the same in the beginning of the LD and it took him a week..when I asked him why it took so long he said he was "busy" I talked to him about it and told him that it made me feel as he is not interested in me and is not missing me.. it's really important to talk about his lack of effort to communicate.
the other things is just normal I gues.. my SO liked half naked girls as well..I told him that it's weird seeing this but that it's his choice and decission...

just talk to him

[Haley53]

I feel like this plays into a long-standing issue... I remember your other thread where you were complaining about what little contact you both had due to his fussyness about online contact, and I believe you said it'd been something like a week since you'd heard from him? Because he's "busy"? Did you ever talk to him about that situation and what was said? Was anything resolved? I'm going to guess not if your resolution was to sit back and wait for him to contact you.

I'm not sure how I feel about the Tumblr deal. My partner and I don't have Tumblr, and while I did at one point, I never reblogged cute men/women. We typically tend to use the term "attractive." Not sure how it evolved to mean what it does for us but it essentially means someone's good-looking and we recognise it, e.g. "The Bachelorette sent him the most attractive man," and we both have friends who are both attractive but both play the dumb card so it makes them less so, etc. I would probably be upset if my partner used the term "smokin' hot" and "gratuitous" on something I could see, but maybe he figured it was no different since he's reblogged girls before? My concern would stem more from that that would make like three weeks with little to no contact, I think.

Have you ever talked to him about where he sees the relationship going or if he even feels seriously about it anymore? It seems strange to me that anyone, busy or not, would want to go three entire weeks with absolutely no contact, or very little (I think you said you'd tried texting but his conversations would drop off), and still be interested in maintaining a relationship. Either that or he's completely naive as to how relationships work. A relationship can't run on no contact and communication, not a close-distance one and most certainly not a long-distance one. It might be time to have a serious talk over whether or not he's still interested and if he is, what he's going to need to do; don't let him be stubborn just because he doesn't like a certain method of communication unless he's willing to make time for the ones he does like.

[Romeo s Juliet]

I am sorry, What i am bout say may piss you off, but you are being so childish. Why would you even want to test your so this way? if you just want him to contact you first just tell him hey i would like you to send me a text sometime in the morning at the start of my day, i feel i make the effort to start to contact u most the time. i would love to hear from you first for a change what do u think of it
cant you just say that way in a more straightforward way like this? why do u play games? if you play games, they would come right back at you.
secondly, guys are guys, him putting a pic of some random half naked girl he found on the net, its very normal, i don see why you see that as something to even worry about. thats just my opinion. guys watch porn, they have weird fantasies. even women have them, even though some women just dont want to accept it. i cant even start to imagine how you would react if you catch him watching a fully naked girl in a porn video!
I m sorry if i offended you, but these are very normal things. if you really know what is going through a guy s mind when it comes to naked girls and sex maybe you wouldnt worry about such a small issue like this
thats just my opinion. i think you need to stop playing games about the who gonna contact first issue, and just get over being insecure about him posting a pic of some naked model, him doing that has nothing to do with you.

[lala]

I am sorry, What i am bout say may piss you off, but you are being so childish. Why would you even want to test your so this way? if you just want him to contact you first just tell him hey i would like you to send me a text sometime in the morning at the start of my day, i feel i make the effort to start to contact u most the time. i would love to hear from you first for a change what do u think of it
cant you just say that way in a more straightforward way like this? why do u play games? if you play games, they would come right back at you.
secondly, guys are guys, him putting a pic of some random half naked girl he found on the net, its very normal, i don see why you see that as something to even worry about. thats just my opinion. guys watch porn, they have weird fantasies. even women have them, even though some women just dont want to accept it. i cant even start to imagine how you would react if you catch him watching a fully naked girl in a porn video!
I m sorry if i offended you, but these are very normal things. if you really know what is going through a guy s mind when it comes to naked girls and sex maybe you wouldnt worry about such a small issue like this
thats just my opinion. i think you need to stop playing games about the who gonna contact first issue, and just get over being insecure about him posting a pic of some naked model, him doing that has nothing to do with you.

I wouldn't call her childish.. maybe it's not the best way but a way she chose... and is it normal for him not to text her in 2 weeks,when they have almost every day contact initiated by her?? I don't think so...

[Romeo s Juliet]

I wouldn't call her childish.. maybe it's not the best way but a way she chose... and is it normal for him not to text her in 2 weeks,when they have almost every day contact initiated by her?? I don't think so...

i didnt want to offend her by calling her childish, but "i m not initiating contact with him to see how long he takes to contact me game" seems very childish. it is something thats in her mind. i never said that it is right of her SO to not have contacted her for 2 weeks straight. thats why i mentioned she should straightforwardly tell her so that he needs to initiate contacting her as well
and then they could go on from there as to why he didnt cntact her at all for two weeks.

[Kiyama]

A lot has been said already and I agree with the others that you should talk to him.
I understand why you are upset. I even get sad when I can't speak to my SO for only one day or if it's just once a day instead of our regular twice (short due to time difference) conversation. however, sitting back and playing games doesn't solve your issues. instead, and I had to learn that myself, you hurt yourself even more by doing so. you will do yourself great favour if you make the first step and then have a proper conversation about things. I think you can expect more from him and you should tell him that. best of luck!

[Shepard-Fowkes]

Why did you decide to play this game in the first place? You phrased it as, "I tested to see how long it took him to contact me first." Really, though? It was more like a, "I'll give my SO the silent treatment (for no reason) and see if he decides to message me and see what's up." If that wasn't what you meant, can you see how that might be the way he sees it? If my SO suddenly didn't initiate contact with me, I'd figure he was giving me the silent treatment for some reason, and that's a game I don't play. I figure that if he has an issue, he can come talk to me about it and me going to him to talk about it could make him angrier. So, even if it wasn't meant as a silent treatment game, it still looked to him to be one. Perhaps he has noticed very much that you haven't initiated contact with him in two weeks and is hurt by it? If that's the case, he might be playing a game of his own: "I won't talk to her until she talks to me." He might care and worry very much about this lack of communication, but you two might be in the perpetual, unwinnable game of "I won't talk until they do."

If you weren't purposefully avoiding initiating contact with him, you could talk to him about the model he's attracted to and explain your feelings. But that won't work until you actually start talking to him. Look, you gathered your data from this experiment and made the conclusion: he doesn't write first, under these specific conditions. Start talking to him about these issues. You can't expect problems to go away without communication. A relationship's communication can't always be all rainbows and sunshine. Sure, it'll suck spending what little time you have talking about something that's hurt you. But it'll make the next time you guys talk that much easier.

I can't really comment about the model thing because I don't understand women who feel that that sort of thing is an issue. I've always had a "Look but don't touch" policy and it's worked well for me.

Point is, give up this silly game and talk to him. A relationship requires communication and purposefully cutting that off only hurts both of you.

[CandiCandi]

I understand the people who are telling her she's playing a game, I really do. On the other hand, my fiancé would flip out if I didn't contact him for two-three weeks like that. I mean, on the way home from Wisconsin, my phone died and I immediately knew he was going to start worrying. Sure enough, when I turned it back on, I had texts from him that were saying "I haven't heard from you for awhile. Are you okay? I'm getting worried. I love you." and even when I called him to let him know what was up, he still sounded roughly concerned. There is no way that this would happen between my fiancé and I. The same goes for if he didn't get a hold of me in two-three weeks. I'd immediately jump to the assumption something was wrong with him. It worries me that this guy actually didn't reach out to you. You definitely need to have a talk with him. A serious one, with no game-playing.

[ChibiFelicia]

Alot has been said already regarding the game playing. I have to agree that playing games just dont end well, numerous people have said communication is key for a relationship to work and "testing" your other half is just silly. If you have an issue discuss it with your partner.
If he knows you've been online but you've been giving him the silent treatment for no reason he might already know you're playing games. Its not hard to figure out when someone is playing a game. I know if i was on the receiving end of a game like yours i'd tell the dude to stop doing it or stick it where the sun dont shine. Iunno how others would react but i'd be hella pissed off and i know my man would be too.
I also agree that the not contacting you for 2 weeks is really odd to say the least. Like candicandi if there was no contact between us over a 2 week period we'd be seriously worried.