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Going to visit. Not sure if I'm going to see her :(

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    Going to visit. Not sure if I'm going to see her :(

    So Im going down to visit her in 10 days and she still hasn't asked for any time off work.
    My question is if she does end up working when I'm there what should I do? I'm there for 2-3 days and she still lives with her mum (which means staying up late together is a no-no).

    I just really want to spend time with her, I already have my trip booked but I'm afraid I may not get to see her. We've had a bit of trouble lately and I just really want to get to talk to her in person.

    What should I do? I don't want to cancel the trip and its very important that we see each other now. I talked to her about asking for time off a while ago but she still hasn't. She works as a part-time lifegaurd in Toronto so I don't know what the policies are for booking time off. I work full-time in a restaurant and I just had to fill out a slip and then I just double checked with my manager.

    So what should I do if I end up not being able to see her, or spend very little time with her?
    Have any of you had to deal with this before?

    #2
    How many hours is she working a day, if she's working part-time? A part-time job is, on average, 20 hours a week, no? Which is a little less than a few hours a day depending on what kind of week she's working? Or does she work a number of part-time hours only a couple days out of the week? I'm not trying to be forceful, simply trying to understand how a part-time job would limit the time that you get to spend together.

    As far as your options, if she works as a lifeguard, would you not be able to go to work with her? You could swim/pass a day in the sun and still get to spend time talking to her. I don't know if Canada is tighter than it is here, but usually people have no issue with anyone talking to the lifeguards so long as they continue to do their jobs.
    { Our Story on LFAD }


    Our Beginning
    Met online: February 2009
    Feelings confessed: December 2010
    Unofficially together since: January/February 2011
    Officially together since: 08 April 2011

    Our Story
    First meeting in person: 16 August - 14 September 2011
    Second visit: 17 March - 01 April 2012
    Third visit: 23 July - 13 September 2012
    Fourth visit: Looking at 23 March - 6 April 2013

    Our Happily Ever After
    to be continued...

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      #3
      I don't think it's necessary for people to be asking for time off work every time they see their SOs. Work is a big part of life - a life one day you will hopefully spend together. I feel that if she does work, then you make the best of that. Plan your evenings together. Wake up early together. I doubt as a life guard she's working 10+ hour days, thus she will still have time for you. There will be time to talk. Don't worry so much.
      Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

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        #4
        If it's just a part time job, she won't be working constantly. And it does seem like you need to talk to her. Just go, and be with her as much as you can. And try not to resent her for going to work. Just go into the trip knowing that you might not see her much, and try to make the most of what you have with her.
        Met online: Nov 2010 - Met in person: Nov 20, 2010
        Closed the distance: April 27, 2011
        Accepted to PhD program 200 miles away: March 2012
        LD again: July 24, 2012
        Left School and Closed the Distance for good: March 8, 2013
        Married: November 1, 2014
        Started job 200 miles away: February 23, 2015

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          #5
          Public pools generally close by sunset, right? And no part-time job should require working from open to close. Even if she's scheduled to work a big chunk of hours in the middle of the day for all the 2-3 days you'll be there, that should still leave you plenty of time to be together. Unless she's previously promised you that she'd request the time off, if she wants/needs those hours, than you guys will just have to make the most of it. And like Eclaire said, you could always go hang out at her pool and talk to her - as long as you don't distract her from doing her job.

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            #6
            I recently went and spent 7 days with my SO...he had to work 4 out of the days that i was there, which did kind of suck. But in the long run it was nice because I got see what it was like if I was there living with him and what he goes through for work. We still got to spend the evenings together and of course the couple of days he was off work. Just make every moment you get to spend with her special and that will make up for her having to go to work. It will be nice when she is at work and when she comes back home; its a great feeling! So go and enjoy your time with her- it will be worth it!

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              #7
              So to clear a bit up Im pretty sure she works more than 20 a week.
              When she was teaching she was working 4 hours a day every day except Saturday which she worked 8 hours, Tuesday and Sunday she had off but would still take extra shifts if possible. She has worked up to 12 hour days before. Her pool is indoor so sunset doesn't matter. Like I said before though she is switching to a new schedule so I have no idea what its goin to be like.

              Eclaire had a good point. I could always go swim when she's there. Im actually driving down with a friend of mine whos going to see her SO. We were planning a double date actually. We could chill in the pool for a day then go on our date.

              I'll talk to her more tommorow and see what works. I'll try to figure out her schedule and work around it. Thanks guys.

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