Am I the only One? :(

[LadyMarchHare]

I was almost able to see him last week when he miraculously gained a week off, but the day after I'd all but booked the flight (I've had money saved to see him since March) he was not only called back into work, but they sprung management training on him as well so there was no use going for 3 or 4 days if he was to be working until ungodly hours.

I don't know how long the wait will be now, but I imagine somewhere in the winter we'll be able to see each other, even though I'm going into college this fall. I'm hoping I'll get to spend my 21st birthday with him, and no I won't be drinking. XD I don't like alcohol, I just want a good birthday.

Honestly I think I'd go mad waiting years to see my love for the first time. I'm the type of person who hugs and cuddles in person so it's nerve-wracking to only go through text. In the end it's all worth the wait, I know, but I'd still go crazy. I'm going crazy NOW! lol

[xsomanymilesx]

ive got to wait another 4 months to see my so, you're not alone... we get a week together in person. and if my mum doesnt let me go to canada at christmas then its another 8 months til we meet again in person
xxxxxxxxxxxx

[JoMarie]

I think that every LDR has this problem. Some of us can see our SOs sooner than the rest depending on expenses and financial situations. For most of us, it is worth the wait. And the few of us that have a short while already waited a long horrible wait. Hang in there and good luck.

[lpuckett]

I understand the cost thing, but not for SOOO LONG. well.. for those looking to cut the distance down, keep a look out for plane tickets, you never know when they will go down. I found one from San Diego to Chile for 750$ for last Christmas when they are normally like $1100-$1300.
Good luck everyone!

[Caity]

Lol well i've had a 7 year wait because i met my guy when i was 10. I couldn't really go travelling off to another country to meet some guy i'd never met before at that age, nor raise the money for travel expenses. Even now getting the money was difficult as i can't work, and neither of my parents work because they're disabled. Circumstances just have not been in our favour =/ but it's cheered up alot now =D and i know that the wait has most definitely been worth it and our first meeting is going to be absolutely amazing.

[5000miles]

I met my SO last November and our very first meeting is going to be THIS November. So we will have waited a year. But for now it's only 5 months away!! I'm so excited! And the reason we've waited this long is because we were both wanting to make sure we were absolutely ready. Our original meeting date was to be NEXT June, but we're most definitely ready to meet and we can't wait until next year. If it were finiancially possible, I'd be packing my bags now. But he has a bunch of carpentry projects that he has commited to do this summer and his last name is messed up on his birth certificate so he has to fix that so he can get his passport. But I've waited this long, I can wait 5 more months. Time will fly and some day you'll look back on the waiting time and think "That wasn't so bad." Good luck!

[Zephii]

lpuckett, I understand where you're going with this - if people want something enough they make the sacrifices to reduce the time and make it happen. But sometimes people are only bearly making ends meet to begin with, or they have bigger issues and romance has to wait. For example when I finally decided I wanted to persue a relationship with Obi there was a lot of changes I needed to make to have that happen and at a great risk - we were not dating, and I knew he would not commit to a girl he'd never met in person. There was always the risk he'd find someone to replace me and he was honest enough to tell me he was activily looking.

To get the money I needed I had to give up my independance, I moved in with a man I hated (my late mother's boyfriend) because that was the cheapest living option I had, and I stopped doing anything fun. I paid my half of the bills, and that was it. I didn't buy clothing, books, luxuries of any kind. I didn't go out unless someone else was paying for me. I stopped playing online games, went back to using dial-up internet, and spent all my time either studying or chatting online. My one luxury was the money I'd allow myself to spend to post my letterbooks and buy train tickets to visit my sister ($3.40).
That's hard. You don't realise what effect advertising has on you until you have to resist all of it. It took me five months to save enough money for the plane tickets alone...

I had a lot to save up for. Tickets were $2300 for that trip (I've never seen them lower than $1700) which was a good deal for the time of year I was aiming for. I bought them nearly three months in advance which saved me a little. And then I had to get a passport ($200) for which being in my age group an Australian citizen needs to prove their citizenship - by proving one of their parents are Australian. That's not so easy when you're an orphan, as you might imagine, and so I had to order in my mother's birth certificate, prove that I had rights to buy it, and pay for that too. I also needed travel insurance because I was going for nearly two months which was a little over $400.
With other smaller expenses that go with this, the trip cost me a neat 3 grand. On youth allowance I only earnt $8000 that year.

Most sane people are not willing to spend nearly half their yearly income on a visit - expecially if it's a "maybe" that the relationship will work out. I'm sure a handful of other people on this site have similar experiences to mine.
Not everyone has someone to rely on, like parents to support them while they work to save visit money. Some people have people in their care - children or sick parents or siblings. Some people have large debts they need to settle. Some people can't get the time off work or school. Some people can't work. Some people have all of that and more.

"Expensive" is a concept that is different for everyone and changes with ages as well. Nowadays $100 is just $100. I'll make that in a couple of days at work, it's no big deal. When I was sick with grief and living on youth allowance however $100 was the difference between eating and not eating. - And back then? I did a lot of not eating

I'm sorry this is so long I'm just passionant about people understanding that everyone has their own difficulties. Some people have to do it really tough, and I don't feel it's right to imply they are not trying hard enough.
And I'll shut up now.
Peace, Love & Carrots

[agentholli]

Girl, I know EXCATLY how you feel.
I have known my bf for a year and 9 months..we still haven't met in person yet. It is soooooooo hard! but its sooo worth it. Hopefully this month or next we will get to meet for the first time. Its been a long hard wait.

[Bluestars]

After reading your story Zephii, I just have to say that I admire all of your hard work ^^ But I just want to echo your point because I think understanding other peoples' situations is extremely important, especially in terms of reading posts on this site.

I would never be able to afford to see my SO on a regular basis with just my income alone. I go to school full time, and because I received a full scholarship, I choose not to work so that I can maintain my grades. I receive money every semester to live on because my family is low income, but that is not money to be used on plane tickets. I work during the summer, but I need most of that money to live off as well, although I will use some of it to get a plane ticket

The only reason we have managed to see each other so often is because my SO did not have to pay rent and he had extra spending money, so he could pay for a few tickets, but his dad has paid for most of our trips. However, now the situation has changed because my SO has to support himself, for the most part at least, so that means we will be seeing one another a lot less. We are looking at it taking three to four months in between visits now, which seems like forever to spoiled me >.<

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I admire those who have to go a long time without seeing their SO!

[LilyPanda]

i've been waiting 9 months to see/meet my SO. we only live 611 miles apart (me-michigan, him-virginia), but i just finished my first year of college, and he is finishing his last year in high school. we've both been too busy, not to mention neither of us really have the money to see each other at the moment. at first, we weren't even going to date until we met... and that was going to be in 4 years. waiting for years to meet and start dating? yeah, it SUCKED just thinking about it. but now.. we're together, have never met, and plan on meeting in the near future. so far, it's been 9 months, and it might be within the next 9 months. we honestly don't know when we are going to meet.

what i'm trying to say is, you just have to hang in there. it's hard, i know, because every day you just want to run over there and see him. sometimes, i'd love to just jump on a plane and go (haha) but i can't. you will see him one day, and enjoy every minute you get to be with him! we're all here for you if you need to talk as well

[Veiled_Dreamer]

I'm new to "loving at a distance" so ive been reading people's posts that say "a few more days till I get to see my SO.."
and im so jealous....
I dont get to see "him" for a year and 6 months! Does anyone else have to wait that long too?
or is it just me?
I live in California and my SO lives in North Carolina...
which is 2,000+ miles away...

Mannn, I can relate to you. We're reversed: he's in Cali, I'm in NC. I think for us it's like 3k, that's what we say anyway. Pretty bad....

He and I can't meet til I finish school (which is three years) because my parents absolutely do NOT approve whatsoever. Even after that, we might not be able to move in and have a life together for a while afterwards. I know exactly what all of you mean about no money, no support, no means of going to see the person you love. I have to admit to being a little offended that anyone would think I am not personally agonizing inside over the fact that I don't get to see him, I don't get to hold him. This isn't me planning trips to the Bahamas instead of to his house. This is me having absolutely no hope of seeing him at all for at least two years, and believe me, if I could change that, I would give up almost anything in a heartbeat.