Just wondering if anyone has had similar trouble, although hopefully not as dramaic as my story.
Basically, my best friend of 20 years was having lets just say 'psyciatric problems', so when I went off to university I choose hers, really far away from all my family and friends (That wasn't the only reason but one of the main ones) So we moved into a student house to live on the top floor in rooms next door to each other, my room also happened to be the room next to my future SO♥.
Your probably thinking perfect! BF on one side SO on the other...so did I at the time.
I had been single my entire life before this, having not found the right guy, but I could tell right then and there this was it, it was as if I had been waiting for him and it was fate etc. (insert gushy romantic music here). But I resisted for months not wanting to upset my friend whos condition was getting gradually worse and had started distancing herself from me which in turn was starting to hurt my SO as he thought it was all his fault.
I can't remember exactly how this next bit went has I'm sure I've mentally blocked most of it but here goes. At some point me and my friend had a heart to heart where she told me that she had slept with him before I arrived, this I could believe but then she talked about how he was riddled 'down there' from sleeping around, that he jumps on women and treats them badly etc. which at the time I had a hard time believing and looking back I think that is the biggest load of BS I have ever heard. My SO is the complete opposite and I have never met more of a gentleman than he is.
So this continued for a while but got drastically worse when she started with the death threats. She told me about how after her last break up see carried knives and acid guns around with her incase she ran into him again, and started threatening to do the same to my SO. Having Uni mon-fri and a weekend job, the stress was too much and I started missing work and breaking down, so I had to quit my job. I was constantly scared of coming home and finding the worst, even walking downstairs with him to the kitchen was nerve wracking as she was totally capable of carrying out those threats, then to top it all off I had a pregnancy scare.
Then she gave me the question you never give your friends.
"It's him or me"
I had to choose between the love of my life and my BF of 20 years.
It was very difficult but I couldn't give up on here just yet for everything we've been through together, so I explained it to my SO and he was so understanding and supportive, he said he would wait until everything had calmed down.
I chose her but nothing changed, eventually she stopped talking to me completely and then blanked me as apparently I had lost her trust...then she decided to up and move to scotland because she couldn't be near me anymore.
This was over a year ago now so, and my SO and I are stronger than ever. I havnt seen or heard from her since and I constantly ask friends to feedback how she is but shes cut off ties with most of them as well. Before all my trust was in my friends but now I seem to have lost that...which is really upsetting but I trust my SO completely. Sorry I let the storyteller in me write too much.
Has anyone else had problems with friends and relationships?
Basically, my best friend of 20 years was having lets just say 'psyciatric problems', so when I went off to university I choose hers, really far away from all my family and friends (That wasn't the only reason but one of the main ones) So we moved into a student house to live on the top floor in rooms next door to each other, my room also happened to be the room next to my future SO♥.
Your probably thinking perfect! BF on one side SO on the other...so did I at the time.
I had been single my entire life before this, having not found the right guy, but I could tell right then and there this was it, it was as if I had been waiting for him and it was fate etc. (insert gushy romantic music here). But I resisted for months not wanting to upset my friend whos condition was getting gradually worse and had started distancing herself from me which in turn was starting to hurt my SO as he thought it was all his fault.
I can't remember exactly how this next bit went has I'm sure I've mentally blocked most of it but here goes. At some point me and my friend had a heart to heart where she told me that she had slept with him before I arrived, this I could believe but then she talked about how he was riddled 'down there' from sleeping around, that he jumps on women and treats them badly etc. which at the time I had a hard time believing and looking back I think that is the biggest load of BS I have ever heard. My SO is the complete opposite and I have never met more of a gentleman than he is.
So this continued for a while but got drastically worse when she started with the death threats. She told me about how after her last break up see carried knives and acid guns around with her incase she ran into him again, and started threatening to do the same to my SO. Having Uni mon-fri and a weekend job, the stress was too much and I started missing work and breaking down, so I had to quit my job. I was constantly scared of coming home and finding the worst, even walking downstairs with him to the kitchen was nerve wracking as she was totally capable of carrying out those threats, then to top it all off I had a pregnancy scare.
Then she gave me the question you never give your friends.
"It's him or me"
I had to choose between the love of my life and my BF of 20 years.
It was very difficult but I couldn't give up on here just yet for everything we've been through together, so I explained it to my SO and he was so understanding and supportive, he said he would wait until everything had calmed down.
I chose her but nothing changed, eventually she stopped talking to me completely and then blanked me as apparently I had lost her trust...then she decided to up and move to scotland because she couldn't be near me anymore.
This was over a year ago now so, and my SO and I are stronger than ever. I havnt seen or heard from her since and I constantly ask friends to feedback how she is but shes cut off ties with most of them as well. Before all my trust was in my friends but now I seem to have lost that...which is really upsetting but I trust my SO completely. Sorry I let the storyteller in me write too much.
Has anyone else had problems with friends and relationships?
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