He Just Broke up with me

[prinzeza87]

im still shocked... everything before yesterday was perfectly fine between me n my SO.
i get invited to parties, weddings, dances etc very often, i never go out to places like that, n when i do go out is to the movies or groceries shopping w my brother or a girl friend. i had my fun times years ago clubbing or partiying. yesterday one of my friends at work invited me to a wedding as always i told my SO with ahead of time that i might go, im always saying "yeah lets go im down " but 99% end up staying at home so this time i txtd my SO saying that if i go i will let him knw n take pictures fot him etc. i did i got ready n took 2 pics prior to leaving n sent em to him, he actually thank me for sending the pictures n that i was too dress up but that i looked beatiful n for me to keep taking n sending pics. my friend n i took one 2gether n she took one of me standing n after that turned out bad. he receive them and txtd this:
'great i was hoping your pics were going to help my day instead just pissed me the fuck off'
me: ok i wont take anymore but at least tell me why u got so mad
him: i dont want to hear your excuses i've heard enough excuses today. same shit too i tell them and they find a way to fuck it up
me: ok when ur not mad we'll talk, good night.
and i went to sleep (i came home early by the way)
n this morning this is what he txtd
him: when u figure it out u let me knw, im not texting u till u find out
me: i have no idea. so ig that we r not talking anymore because i cant figure it out right
him: then we wont talk and we are done
me: r u serious! dnt b f.... around like that, what's all this, why
is it the dress i wore? because i went out? because i didnt wear ur dogtag? because u are jealous u cant b here with me? everything was fine until the last 2 pics i sent u, what's with them?
or because i have a bracelet that says over 21? well there's a bar in the salon n everybody gets ask for the ID n i really dont knw what else could it be?

then he went to sleep i suppose, n like one hour ago he txtd back this
so that bracelet its from a wedding, my tag wasnt good enough and same for the bracelet i gave u, i completely understand, im done talking to u
me: done talkin to me? what exactly u mean? be careful n watch ur words
him: u watch ur words, bye
me:are you breaking up with me? yes or not?
him: yeah i am bye
me: that simple n easy?

he hasnt txt back, i must say that he is on a training field op for a month where he n the rest of the battalion are in a very stressful enviroment n extremely busy, i thinking to my self give him time he's vey stressed, we will talk this out n fix it like always and everything will be fine, but i dont knw, i used to consider that out relationship was stronger than this, one day we deicided that we would never brake up trough txt msgs and that we were at least call explain n be honest why n try to brake up in the best way possible.
im thinking so much stuff almost 2 years together, so many things we have been through things worse than this, so many things that keeps us together, our plans, dreams, our love .... i cant accept his reasons im feeling sick i dont knw what to do or tell him to bring him back to me!

i have the lyrics of this song in my mind right now, would this be truly the end?
https://youtu.be/5qF_qbaWt3Q

im sorry for my spealling, oh god this is hurting !!!!

[temporaryuser]

give him some time. Maybe he thought you were going out clubbing since you had the bracellet id on. And that just set off the fact that you didnt have his dog tags on (but if you were dressed up for a wedding I can understand why you didnt). if he is just stressed, maybe there is more going on.
Texting in a situation like this is definitely not the way to try to work things out!

[dukes2011]

I'm sure his stress level has a lot to do with it. I hope he calls you soon and you guys can work this out in a more direct than texting. If you need anything feel free to PM me. I'm more than happy just to listen as I'm sure others are too.

[Haley53]

I agree with the issue of his stress level, but if this is something that's a frequent reoccurence and problem in your relationship (you mentioned how you often stay home as opposed to going out, even though you also mentioned being over it, and you also felt the need to text him and send him pictures throughout the event), whether or not you miss going out or don't, then his behaviour might be something to consider as more than simple "stress." If he responds this way when you do go out, and has an issue with it, for whatever reason he chooses to back it up with, then this is likely to be continuing behaviour that will only get worse with time. I understand you're not really in a place to even think about it currently, but it's hard for me to flag this type of behaviour as being mere stress when there seems to be more to the story, as in it's happened/these insecurities have surfaced before. :/

I am sorry to hear this, though. I don't think you at all deserved what was said.

[mofet]

I think it is just his stress level, but even so, it's really immature to go ballistic because you went to a wedding.
You should have fun and live your life, and he shouldn't stop you from enjoying yourself or your friends.
Just curious, what do you mean the second picture was bad?
Why did he get pissed off?

[prinzeza87]

I agree with the issue of his stress level, but if this is something that's a frequent reoccurence and problem in your relationship (you mentioned how you often stay home as opposed to going out, even though you also mentioned being over it, and you also felt the need to text him and send him pictures throughout the event), whether or not you miss going out or don't, then his behaviour might be something to consider as more than simple "stress." If he responds this way when you do go out, and has an issue with it, for whatever reason he chooses to back it up with, then this is likely to be continuing behaviour that will only get worse with time. I understand you're not really in a place to even think about it currently, but it's hard for me to flag this type of behaviour as being mere stress when there seems to be more to the story, as in it's happened/these insecurities have surfaced before. :/

I am sorry to hear this, though. I don't think you at all deserved what was said.

ur so right i have thought on this before but same time i wont make that this is fact of the brake up yet.

---------- Post added at 06:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:34 PM ----------

and mofet the last picture was of myself full body possing decent for the picture to him, but i guess thats when he noticed that i wasnt wearing his dog tag, i didnt wear it because i felt it didnt go with my outfit. i literaly always wear it from the first day he sent it to me because it means so much to me but ig this time it was just the wrong time to chose not to wear it ...

[mofet]

Oh okay... I was like, maybe she was posing a bit too sexy?
I think he's being really selfish. I understand how sentimental dogtags and gifts in general can be.
My SO gave me a necklace I like to wear everyday and he notices if I take it off, though he never reprimands me for doing so.
But to expect you to wear his dogtags ALL THE TIME, even to WEDDINGS is a bit overbearing.
I don't know what's wrong with him, but if this a constant reoccurrence, maybe he's got a lot on his plate, and he's acting self destructive.
I hope you get a chance to talk with him properly.
Since you guys have been together for a long time, I don't think he should be breaking up with you in text anyway.
It's disrespectful of your relationship.

[digitalfever]

That's not healthy or mature behaviour. Stressed or not.

[Sharon Q]

Id give it time let him calm down. I can understand the necklace thing from both sides, and I feel he went overbored on it. Its probably just all the stress. Give him a couple days and then try to contact him

[Tooki]

I admit that I can be a bit...controlling at times but he is going far too overboard. He needs to give you the freedom to go to weddings and do the things you did when you two are apart. Being in an LDR doesn't mean that you have to give things up in your time apart. I do get why he got annoyed about the dogtag, but it was overboard (as others have said). If this happens frequently, then you should perhaps talk to him about this.

[USAlovesUK]

That's not healthy or mature behaviour. Stressed or not.

I'm agreeing with this. Nonetheless, I'm so sorry you're hurting and I would be, too. I'll bet in time he'll realize what a huge mistake he's made and will apologize for it.

[prinzeza87]

Thanks a lot, its time to go to sleep here with me n still none response frm him. i dont have much choice but to give him time like y'all said, how much time is the question, and then if he still doesnt response or anything to me ig we're really done...

[Zephii]

I'm so sorry you're hurting, but at the same time I think this can only be a good thing for your future. He sounds very immature and controlling, and I can't help but feel an intelligent, faithful woman like yourself deserves to be treated with more respect, regardless of his stressful situation. (I get the feeling things like this have happened before).
Take care of yourself, we're here for you xx

[alesitag]

Im sorry your going through this paisana!

Im sending positive thoughts your way and hoping things work out for you two...

*hugs*

[Sierra]

I don't want to sound mean, but based on this conversation it sounds like he's acting not only in a very immature way, but a very possessive one as well. You were at a wedding, are dog tags really acceptable? Not really unless they were hidden.

Maybe it is stress, but what you posted here really bothers me and sounds like he feels like he owns you. I know what I'm saying may be unpopular, but I've been with someone like this and it was a nightmare. If HE'S the reason you're staying in, more than just you're 'partying days are over', I'd really give this situation some careful thought and consideration. My therapist once told me that there are times when we need to take what people say at face value and not over look it or excuse it, because they just may be showing us their true selves.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck in your situation and I hope things work out the way that you want them to.