In need of some emotional support?

[Frankenbat]

Hi all,

Some of you may remember me, I dated the girl who thought I didn't exist so intensely despite copious amounts of proof and then traveled 3,000 miles to meet her and she refused to meet me, so I left.

Well just last night, actually this morning around midnight she... ex dumped me? via text and it was the meanest thing I have ever read from her.
She had texted me earlier in the day to ask about Switzerland because she is moving there and we sent about two texts talking about it and that was it, then we started talking about the fact that i traveled there.
This morning I woke up to this:

"It's too hard to trust you. Too many bad things on your side. Whether you let them happen, chose them, or whatever; shit happened. From my point of view, you're full of shit and enjoy seeing me suffer. Do I want to believe that's who you are? No. Is it what all evidence from the past 2 years points to? Yes. I'd be doing us both a disservice if I was okay with this. Even in the very off chance that somehow all of this is not how I perceive it (you being a fake person and a liar) I don't think I could ever forgive you for contributing to making me feel this way. You may have put in effort but your effort means nothing to me. You made it to California after working and saving up for how long? I can't believe it took you that long to get here and You should have tried this hard in the beginning whether good or bad shit was going on. You fucked me up so much that I won't ever be the same. You truly ripped out my heart and played with it like a toy, and I let you. But not anymore. It's over. I will get over you and I may be scarred for the rest of my life but oh well that's life. I wish no ill will towards you, but I am moving on now."

My heart completely broke and I told her good bye and deleted her number from my phone along with the conversation. I don't understand how she can blame the fact that we were distanced on me (that is the bad things she is referring to and the distance is what "contributed to making her feel this way") especially when I tried to close the distance and she refused to meet me. She is calling me a fake person because she has thought I was fake since day one and the fact that i was there and we didn't meet is my fault in her eyes. And she was always my top priority. I don't understand how she could say all of that to me and it's really messing with my head...

My heart doesn't hurt much, I feel releaved to have finally said Good Bye... but what she said is killing me and I am having a hard time handling it.

[lademoiselle]

First of all, one of these:

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve to hear any of that. I'm no psychologist but it sounds to me like she's projecting; it's a defense mechanism where you deny your own thoughts, emotions and behaviours, and accuse other people - you, in this case - of being exactly the same way. Please don't take her cruel words to heart and don't let them confuse your mind. You aren't in the wrong here, and it's nothing but a mercy that this person is out of your life once and for all. Be kind to yourself now and I hope you feel better soon. Good luck and take care!

[Vonsever]

She sounds like a jerk and you do not need that in your life! I remember your other posts and the fact that you even traveled to see this nut case is amazing. It is HER problem that she feels that way, not yours. You seem like a very sweet and caring person and any girl would be lucky to have someone as kind as you. Don't take what this vile woman says to heart. Feel grateful that she is gone from your life once and for all and now work on you. Hangout with friends, go places, do things, do not sit around and mourn something so immature and cruel as your ex girlfriend. I wish my boyfriend would travel on a train to see me, she really missed out on a great guy. Let her sulk in her little fantasy world where you are this abusive monster just out to hurt her and "toy with her heart" (i see it as the opposite really considering all the stuff she has done to you!) and go be happy. I'm sure you've learned a lot from this relationship and that's good. Take what you have learned and better yourself. I feel sorry for your ex girlfriend for not realizing what an amazing boy she just gave up, but it is HER loss. She for sure said all of that to hurt you and did what she did to hurt you, YOU ARE NOT THE BAD PERSON HERE. She needs SERIOUS mental help but that is out of your hands. Smile, and be happy that this monster is out of your life and use all the determination that she never appreciated to make some other girl happy who WILL appreciate you. Good luck and you will be okay!

[Haley53]

First of all, one of these:

I'm so sorry. You didn't deserve to hear any of that. I'm no psychologist but it sounds to me like she's projecting; it's a defense mechanism where you deny your own thoughts, emotions and behaviours, and accuse other people - you, in this case - of being exactly the same way. Please don't take her cruel words to heart and don't let them confuse your mind. You aren't in the wrong here, and it's nothing but a mercy that this person is out of your life once and for all. Be kind to yourself now and I hope you feel better soon. Good luck and take care!

I agree with this.

When something is that distorted and unwarranted (as that message was/is), then it has less to do with you and more to do with the someone who sent it. To have required so much proof to begin with was ridiculous, to have put you in a stalemate so that you couldn't win, leaving you plopped smack dab in the middle of a minefield with no way out of the small square on which you were given to stand, that all points to issues on her end, and whether or not you see it now, I can imagine that this was all probably for the best. I know that it's easy to let someone else's cruel words cut and slice into you, but you really need to try and separate from this one. She sounded like bad news from the very beginning, interested only in toying you around, and everything she said honestly sounds like a dramatic projection of the very parts of herself that she can't handle.

[Irina_Linn]

Hey i agree to all above.i guess she has some problems in her head and mind going on and she tried to blame you and made up few reasons so it sounds more dramatic.reminds me of the movie "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" when she faked orgasm in order to annoy her ex who was having sexy time in next room in hotel

(speaking to her current BF) -and...and...and i hate your music! and you are shit! and your tattoos are shit!
-was it genuine thought or u faked again?

dont worry man and dont take it close to heart,atleast she wont hurt you with bad words anymore

[kittyo9]

I'm sorry buddy. You did the right thing, though. She really has no right to blame any of that on you. You put in as much effort as you could and she didn't put in any. Just know that, in time, you will find someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them. For now, you'll just have to put it behind you. My favorite coping mechanism is watching movies.

and I have to say she sounds legitimately crazy.

[Frankenbat]

Thank you all so much. I really needed to hear this. Sorts like this involving her have a funny way of poking at my brain.
I feel numb about the whole situation, but I think I'll be okay at some point. I'm trying to look at the positives like I actually made it there and I tried my best to meet her and make her see that I wasn't any sort of the weird stuff that she perceived me as.

I will for sure be watching a lot of movies haha. Thanks for the suggestion.

I guess my biggest thing right now is trying to figure out why she was like this and why I felt so inclined to please her. Being "freed" from all of that feels nice. I actually went out today and had food with a friend and I didn't feel guilty or afraid about doing that for the first time in a long time.

Thank you all so much for being there for me through all of this. I really appreciate each and every one of you. x