So 6 days left and I am literally bi polar and still don’t want to go, but I know I have to!
One minute I’m okay with going and I’m all: “This will be fun, and I’ll get to see my hubby and go to Disney, etc..”
Then comes the:
“God I’m so afraid to go on a plane, what if I get lost? What if I get sick? I’m gonna miss my mom and nephew so much.. Then I have to leave, and I can’t stay too long or it will be even harder to leave him…but I can’t leave too soon! I wonder how bad it’s going to be for him now that I’M leaving HIM.”
Then my mom has been having her anxiety and panic attacks and I have a feeling it’s because I’m leaving soon. She’s literally had heart pains and attacks everyday for 9 days but won’t go to the emergency room. And she said today she wanted my sister to go with us for when she drops me off at the airport because she’s going to be crying the whole time… which makes me even want to cry thinking about it.
This is just going to be so hard… and it’s like I feel like I’ll never come back, but deep down I obviously know I’ll be coming back home. Then when I’m home I’ll be crying because I want to go back to see him…
LDR’s suck so much…
And then of course there’s the thoughts I try to silence which is what if something happens to me or my plane crashes and it’s like I put my mom through all of this and it’s just … blah.
One minute I’m okay with going and I’m all: “This will be fun, and I’ll get to see my hubby and go to Disney, etc..”
Then comes the:
“God I’m so afraid to go on a plane, what if I get lost? What if I get sick? I’m gonna miss my mom and nephew so much.. Then I have to leave, and I can’t stay too long or it will be even harder to leave him…but I can’t leave too soon! I wonder how bad it’s going to be for him now that I’M leaving HIM.”
Then my mom has been having her anxiety and panic attacks and I have a feeling it’s because I’m leaving soon. She’s literally had heart pains and attacks everyday for 9 days but won’t go to the emergency room. And she said today she wanted my sister to go with us for when she drops me off at the airport because she’s going to be crying the whole time… which makes me even want to cry thinking about it.
This is just going to be so hard… and it’s like I feel like I’ll never come back, but deep down I obviously know I’ll be coming back home. Then when I’m home I’ll be crying because I want to go back to see him…
LDR’s suck so much…
And then of course there’s the thoughts I try to silence which is what if something happens to me or my plane crashes and it’s like I put my mom through all of this and it’s just … blah.
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