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**Haley53** · June 28, 2012, 04:08 PM

Have you ever considered exercising? It's something you might find to be beneficial. I have found that exercise and certain, methodic actions (such as cleaning or crafting) are helpful to my anxiety when I experience it in my LDR.

**Jessipoo** · June 28, 2012, 04:14 PM

Originally posted by Eclaire View Post

Have you ever considered exercising? It's something you might find to be beneficial. I have found that exercise and certain, methodic actions (such as cleaning or crafting) are helpful to my anxiety when I experience it in my LDR.

Ya I really should. When I was having a rough time with school (student strike and all) I considered it but I was so down in a ditch (and still am now) that it was hard. I know when I take that first step though, it'll feel amazing.

**halfwayacross** · June 28, 2012, 04:46 PM

I know this is very small, and doesn't get to the root of the issue, but for me, when we've been in fights that left me unsure if I'd hear for a while (or in past relationships where I was anxious about hearing from someone), I used to just put my cell phone away, or sometimes not even bring it with me places. Just anything that gave me a little break from having it right there in front of me reminding me about the anxious waiting. (Let's be clear, I'm not advocating wandering dangerous neighborhoods without a cell phone, but just little things, even like leaving it in the car when going grocery shopping). I found that when I had my cell phone right on me, I was constantly checking it, or anxious about if I had heard anything/would hear anything. And so my whole demeanor and mood was just tied to it. But, by putting the phone away for X amount of time when I did various tasks, I felt like I got a small reprieve from all the worry.

Like I said, this is not a permanent solution or nor does it provide any sort of major change (anxiety comes right back when you do eventually check/use your phone). But sometimes a little break from the constant reminder you're waiting with uncertainty can help! Sorry you're going through this rough time : (

**Jessipoo** · June 28, 2012, 04:57 PM

ya I actually wish I didn't bring my phone with me that day I went into emotional crazy town, didn't help my dad was yelling at me the whole time too when I was driving adding more stress.

I tried to do that but every time I wanted to leave my phone behind I was expecting a call or needed it as a GPS (that's the reason I brought it with me that night, and then I had 2 emotional triggers that left me so broken down on top of everything). IF we re establish communication, I think I will ask my mom to confiscate my phone, as childish as that sounds, allowing me to only look at it for a little while when I get home from work and right before bed, that's it. And I will do this until I can "wean myself off" (but at this point I am good about it because, I don't expect anything from him at all, although I continue to hope).

**Honeypie** · June 28, 2012, 05:23 PM

I understand if you need to have your phone with you but try VERY HARD not to check it all the time or your emails either ..... get some really good books, I find that if I can find a good book then I can get lost for awhile ..... go for a walk, just to get some air & to not be looking at the same walls all the time .... deep breathing helps alot with anxiety too, if you feel an attack coming on try to take some really deep breathes & self talk yourself down "I'm OK, I can do this"

**Jessipoo** · June 28, 2012, 07:46 PM

I watched videos of us and it cheered me up. I haven't had the courage to watch them this whole time because it made me upset. I'm in a good place now and it made me happy.

And then... I went on FB and I was curious and went to his music page so it's not a personal page (he DJs as well). I knew I shouldn't have it really upset me, I got a wave of unhappiness because even before the fight he didn't have time to talk to me yet he has time to write people. I know that his music manager takes care of his page but the messages I was looking at seemed personal. For some reason, I can't like or comment either and he isn't really good with FB so I think he actually took the time to block me?? My old likes are still there.

Not only that, but he said he was busy with work, which I believe him, and work isn't getting unbusy any time soon from what I was last told, more like end Summer. I know he's been wanting to get some music going again but has been so busy. And one of his updates was "Ninetynine is back, late night studios, f--- yeah". I can't help but feel so betrayed and hurt now. Like he can completely forget me because of some rough patches.... I will not text him or email about this. I'm trying to really stick to not writing him and waiting until end July. But .. this doesn't look good for me.

Ugh. Trying to remain calm. zen.

**Captivated** · June 28, 2012, 09:43 PM

Help other people. Seriously. Right now you're all about, "me, me, me, me..." Consider helping someone else. Volunteer somewhere. Help a kid with his/her homework. Detaching yourself from, well, yourself will help wonders. Try it. I guarantee it will work.

**Haley53** · June 28, 2012, 10:53 PM

Originally posted by Captivated View Post

Help other people. Seriously. Right now you're all about, "me, me, me, me..." Consider helping someone else. Volunteer somewhere. Help a kid with his/her homework. Detaching yourself from, well, yourself will help wonders. Try it. I guarantee it will work.

This is a good suggestion too. I genuinely think that sometimes, this can help put things into perspective, not to mention you'll feel wonderful doing it. I, for example, love working with kids, and I love my students. Even if I'm having a shitty day, one hour working with one of my students, and there's a smile on my face again. It reminds me that this world is bigger than me and what's happening in my shitty day and that I can still turn it around. Oftentimes, depression becomes very defeating, and a part of that problem, I do believe, is because the focus is so much on the mememe. When it's all about you, everything in your world consumes you, becomes bigger than it really is, becomes this thing that you can't shake that no one else can possibly understand; you become detached from anything and everything around you. Volunteering, making a difference in someone else's life, someone who can still smile even through their tough time, can help your scope of vision broaden. It can help you see the world differently and let's be honest, there's the personal benefit that helping someone, being responsible for someone else's care or happiness, it feels good.

And honestly, I think exercise is one of those things you gotta force until you're in the habit of it. I will say, though, that if it's anything that keeps my mood stabilised, it's regular exercise, but I didn't always have such a love/need for it that I push my mother to go out with me instead of it being the other way around.

Used to be I didn't have the motivation to get my butt off the couch, whether it was because I was lazy or genuinely depressed. Thing is, that in those cases, you really have to try and force it, and if you can't? Then you need to start seeing a therapist to start putting a dent in that level of depression/anxiety. However, because this is triggered and not so much chemical, I think force might be a little bit easier for you to do, even if you have to reward yourself after every jog/walk/whathaveyou.

**Jessipoo** · June 28, 2012, 11:06 PM

yes I will definitely have to force myself to workout, it will help me regain some control in my life.

I wanted to get into it 2 months ago when my SO suggested I get back into running, that it would be mentally healthy for me, and at the time I had lost all my computer data for my project and was living on a mattress at home, waking up late, never leaving the house, working on my project in limbo land with school, I should've done it then. But no excuses, I really should start now. Even if it's small, a walk, a bike ride, anything is better than nothing right

**Haley53** · June 28, 2012, 11:15 PM

Originally posted by Jessipoo View Post

yes I will definitely have to force myself to workout, it will help me regain some control in my life.

I wanted to get into it 2 months ago when my SO suggested I get back into running, that it would be mentally healthy for me, and at the time I had lost all my computer data for my project and was living on a mattress at home, waking up late, never leaving the house, working on my project in limbo land with school, I should've done it then. But no excuses, I really should start now. Even if it's small, a walk, a bike ride, anything is better than nothing right

Yes!

I took baby steps. I started out only doing walking and now I'm up to exercising 4-5 times a week and running 6 miles. They say the first step is always the hardest, and I would say when it comes to exercise, I'm inclined to agree.

Being out in nature can be incredibly balancing as well, if you have any nice areas you can go to hike/run/ride your bike.

**Honeypie** · June 29, 2012, 06:49 AM

Originally posted by Jessipoo View Post

I watched videos of us

And then... I went on FB and I was curious and went to his music page so it's not a personal page (he DJs as well). I knew I shouldn't have it really upset me, I got a wave of unhappiness

Why are you doing that to yourself? You know it isn't going to do you any good but yet you do it anyway... you are getting in your own way .... you are becoming the reason you are so unhappy .... You have to STOP .... you can not check up on him, did you think you were going to find something on his Facebook page that would make you happy?

Doing these things WILL NOT HELP with the anxiety it will only make it worse ... but you already know that. Do some of or even 1 of the things that other members & myself have suggested.

**Kiyama** · June 29, 2012, 07:30 AM

I think the others have already given great advice. I also remember in another thread you mentioned you meet up with friends a lot. Definitely keep that up or ask them if they want to join for a walk or something too. I also like the volunteer idea. It's amazing how much it can help to get and insight in other people's lives, It can give you a whole new perspective

To me it really sounds like you are a bit depressed. I'm no expert but I've had depression and this "tunnel view" = all mememe, negative thinking spirals and obsession with certain things sounds really familiar :/ Is that somehow possible?

**Jessipoo** · June 29, 2012, 11:10 AM

I have been very depressed the last 3 months.

Honeypie, I thought maybe if I was nothing there that I really knew it wasn't personal and it would reassure me...

**Honeypie** · June 29, 2012, 01:03 PM

You can not depend on him or his actions to make you happy .... you have to be happy with yourself 1st ... you need to work on yourself.

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