Weird or Not? (Long, but could use some advice)
About a month or more ago, in actions and words, he made it clear that he wanted to switch over most of our computer conversations to Skype and not MSN. I expressed that I have fond memories of talking to him on MSN and preferred it in some ways. However, he pointed out various reasons Skype was superior for most things (MSN he claims to only “really” talk to me on, he has more of his contacts on Skype, it functions better with his computer, we have much clearer and less glitch webcam calls, yada yada), but he will occasionally come on MSN “because I (me) like it” and to drive his point home, he usually will only come online to Skype.
It’s just about two weeks since we had this huge discussion about jealousy and things. Where, among other things, he decided (not because I asked him, but because I expressed my discomfort) to remove this girl from Facebook, who has been a thorn in the side of our relationship from the beginning. She is someone he acknowledged having a friends with benefits situation with (she lives where he lives) when he and first met online and was rather interested in both of us for awhile before he dumped her to focus on me (this is way back like...almost a year ago). Anyway, he says it is over completely and that they barely talk, other than “Hi” and “Bye” if they see each other. Also, he has all these hot female friends, none of whom I have met and whom he gave the impression that there might have been a past there or some chemistry in the past or even now and never gave reassurance about until I finally felt too badly about the situation to let things stand the way they were. He apologized and has been really attentive since, told me some more details, and has said that he really wants our relationship to work. I guess these are other issues, but maybe it could be related or help you to see why I am weirded out by a small, recent issue (see below).
So, in the last week or so, I notice him signing into MSN briefly and then signing back out. Usually, if I have my computer on (which is a lot lately with the job search), I will be signed into MSN, but appear offline...and I will stay offline a lot more since he and I are now doing the Skype thing for computer stuff. Anyway, I thought I would just observe for the week when it happens, as I found it a little strange...but I didn’t want to overreact. Sometimes it is just before I sign into Skype, occasionally when I am not invisible for awhile on Skype, but also sometimes when we are on Skype together. I know I sound a bit paranoid (although he does claim that he only talks to me on MSN), but the other day he did it when we were on Skype, I decided to ask him about it in a very casual way (thinking he would say something like “Oh, one of my friends where I live only has MSN, so I was using it briefly” or, more likely, since he was fiddling with his computer recently, “I was testing to see if it worked with the new system I put in”)...so, I said something like “Hey, I just noticed you popped onto MSN.” (No response). “Are you trying to fix your computer again and testing MSN out?
I’m glad it seems to be working out finally.” Him (something like): “Oh...I was just signing in and out briefly, checking to see if you were online.” Me: “Really? We were already talking for awhile here on Skype. Maybe there is a delay with the interwebs or something and I am seeing you sign in a little later?” Him: *quickly changes subject* I guess I should have waited to see if it happens some more, because now he could just block me and I wouldn’t be the wiser. Also, if he signs out for good, he appears in my offline contact list on MSN, but if he has it on his phone, then he appears “offline (but not really)” in the SMS category and the SMS category has been where he signs out to lately. This all seems so silly, but if it was really no big deal, he is practical enough that he would just say why he needs to use it for something else voluntarily...it’s unfair and kind of weird to make me use Skype, knowing that I also like to use MSN, yet he is using MSN again.
So, do you think this is suspicious behaviour on his part? I don’t want to give the sense like I am being controlling, but I feel like he should have a reason or a better explanation about using MSN when he has so adamantly insisted that we use Skype together and shortly after a discussion where I expressed how I need him to be direct about some of his behaviours so I don’t feel jealous or what have you (based on the context of what has happened recently, I am feeling strange about it). Do you think I should talk about it with him more/ how?
It’s just about two weeks since we had this huge discussion about jealousy and things. Where, among other things, he decided (not because I asked him, but because I expressed my discomfort) to remove this girl from Facebook, who has been a thorn in the side of our relationship from the beginning. She is someone he acknowledged having a friends with benefits situation with (she lives where he lives) when he and first met online and was rather interested in both of us for awhile before he dumped her to focus on me (this is way back like...almost a year ago). Anyway, he says it is over completely and that they barely talk, other than “Hi” and “Bye” if they see each other. Also, he has all these hot female friends, none of whom I have met and whom he gave the impression that there might have been a past there or some chemistry in the past or even now and never gave reassurance about until I finally felt too badly about the situation to let things stand the way they were. He apologized and has been really attentive since, told me some more details, and has said that he really wants our relationship to work. I guess these are other issues, but maybe it could be related or help you to see why I am weirded out by a small, recent issue (see below).
So, in the last week or so, I notice him signing into MSN briefly and then signing back out. Usually, if I have my computer on (which is a lot lately with the job search), I will be signed into MSN, but appear offline...and I will stay offline a lot more since he and I are now doing the Skype thing for computer stuff. Anyway, I thought I would just observe for the week when it happens, as I found it a little strange...but I didn’t want to overreact. Sometimes it is just before I sign into Skype, occasionally when I am not invisible for awhile on Skype, but also sometimes when we are on Skype together. I know I sound a bit paranoid (although he does claim that he only talks to me on MSN), but the other day he did it when we were on Skype, I decided to ask him about it in a very casual way (thinking he would say something like “Oh, one of my friends where I live only has MSN, so I was using it briefly” or, more likely, since he was fiddling with his computer recently, “I was testing to see if it worked with the new system I put in”)...so, I said something like “Hey, I just noticed you popped onto MSN.” (No response). “Are you trying to fix your computer again and testing MSN out?
I’m glad it seems to be working out finally.” Him (something like): “Oh...I was just signing in and out briefly, checking to see if you were online.” Me: “Really? We were already talking for awhile here on Skype. Maybe there is a delay with the interwebs or something and I am seeing you sign in a little later?” Him: *quickly changes subject* I guess I should have waited to see if it happens some more, because now he could just block me and I wouldn’t be the wiser. Also, if he signs out for good, he appears in my offline contact list on MSN, but if he has it on his phone, then he appears “offline (but not really)” in the SMS category and the SMS category has been where he signs out to lately. This all seems so silly, but if it was really no big deal, he is practical enough that he would just say why he needs to use it for something else voluntarily...it’s unfair and kind of weird to make me use Skype, knowing that I also like to use MSN, yet he is using MSN again.So, do you think this is suspicious behaviour on his part? I don’t want to give the sense like I am being controlling, but I feel like he should have a reason or a better explanation about using MSN when he has so adamantly insisted that we use Skype together and shortly after a discussion where I expressed how I need him to be direct about some of his behaviours so I don’t feel jealous or what have you (based on the context of what has happened recently, I am feeling strange about it). Do you think I should talk about it with him more/ how?
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