Temptation Wins :(

[Sora1101]

As Johnny Depp would say in this situation, if you love two people at the same time choose the second one because if you really loved the first one you wouldnt have fallen for the second.

This is what comes to my mind every time I hear about people cheating, I don't buy that bullcrap excuse about feeling lonely or needing attention especially when it comes to LDR's there are tons of us here who hardly if ever see their SO, like myself who sees my SO once a year, and you don't see us cheating. It's all excuses and if you truly love someone you would never do anything to intentionally harm them, I would have given you different advice had you only kissed this other guy once, sure an honest if still horrible mistake because you were caught up in the moment, but the second time is inexcusable, you should have immediately distanced yourself from him as soon as the first kiss happened not wait around for it to happen again, you don't just "accidentally" cuddle with someone either you knew what you were doing I don't care how lonely you were. That's just a slap in the face to your SO and it's completely uncalled for.

[carolynred]

As Johnny Depp would say in this situation, if you love two people at the same time choose the second one because if you really loved the first one you wouldnt have fallen for the second.

THIS is exactly what came into my mind!

When my ex-boyfriend emotionally cheated on me, he told me a month after he began flirting with her and whatnot. This allowed for rumors and insecurity issues to fly during the last month of our relationship. Go for telling him over the phone, it will give him time to process his thoughts alone. While of course, I am biased from being emotionally cheated on, and have to say that my ex cheating on me did really open my eyes. It made me see that I was not happy with what we had, and that our time as a couple needed to come to a close.

Perhaps you might do something similar. While you do love your SO, are you 100% sure that everything was REALLY ok? With the relationship and with your own inner thoughts? Its ok to do some soul searching. Its ok to feel bad about what you did, but this life is all about lessons and the lessons we learn from the mistakes we make. Learn from this and perhaps you will learn about yourself. Some people are not meant to do long distance, so perhaps it was not your fancy? Whatever you learn, know that it can lead you to more understandings. Talk things out with your SO, leave K out of this, and think about what you REALLY want.

[sewbama]

The whole 'southern gentleman' thing you mentioned may be true, to an extent. If he was truly the gentleman that you say he is, he would have never helped you cheat.. nor would he have cheated on someone before.

Stole my thunder, but I just want to point out on behalf of all Southerners, no southern gentlemen would do what he has done. So if you are wanting a southern gentleman, he's not the one. He's just a jerk with an accent. Southern gentlemen put others before themselves, especially women, and there's a camaraderie among them/all men that would never allow them to hurt each other like that, too. Honestly, from what you've said about him and how you've said it, I don't think he's doing anything for you but being in the right place at the right time. So you should just cut contact. Leave him alone.

As far as what you need to do now, tell him, and you'll both have some time with all the information to find out what you really want. My SO has been cheated on MANY times (he claims in every relationship he's ever been in, but he's very forgetful, so likely not ALL). He says he gets more upset about the lying and hiding than the actual cheating -- and he's told me that if I did cheat on him I'd be better off just telling him . So tell him ASAP and make sure you address both the cheating and the lying/hiding.

[Cheddarx89]

Think about what you need and want as an individual. Don't go wasting time feeling bad for cheating just now - just work it out so you don't prolong the pain and deception. And put yourself first. It's ok to do that. Put yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

best advice. thanks.

[prinzeza87]

Think about what you need and want as an individual. Don't go wasting time feeling bad for cheating just now - just work it out so you don't prolong the pain and deception. And put yourself first. It's ok to do that. Put yourself first and everything else will fall into place.

best advice. thanks.

definitively great advice...

[Tanja]

I second Zephii's advice (as always) and also I think you should tell Joe straight away. Waiting for another month WILL seem like you've hidden it from him and by the time you guys meet you might not have the courage to tell him. Especially if he's coming to see you: hes excited and happy and he's spending money and time only to find out that you've slept with someone else? Not good.

The most important part is, you've done it now and you can't undo it no matter how much you want to. So in order to get things sorted you need to accept that you made a mistake that will probably cost you your relationship, and you need to forgive yourself. Easier said than done, I know. I KNOW. Figure out what you want and what you were missing from Joe and the next relationship you have, make sure you make your needs known to your partner. You will be ok even if it feels like you won't be. But you will be and so will Joe. Just be honest with him and with yourself.