Well I can't say that I'm surprised because I kind of expected it

[yayagrl]

Well this comes as no surprise to me, but Jason is a CHEATER!!!!!!!!!!!! He's been talking to one of his ex's. I'm hurt yes, but I'm not surprised at all. I got my tears out and now I'm just mad. All the ignoring and all that b.s. When he could've just told me. And even when he got on facebook to tell me he was a smoker... Which I figured was bull and just his way to get me to break up with him. How f'n petty I tell ya!!!!!

You want to know how I found out? I was on facebook and saw "he" was online. Sent a message asking if we were ever going to talk again. His whatever she wants to be I suppose he new girlfriend is what I'll call her, replied back. She tells me they've been talking for like a month now. I tell her that that is him cheating on me and how come he couldn't just tell me himself. She tells me that she told him not to talk to any other girls. She also told me that because we haven't met yet that basically our OVER A YEAR relationship has no merit!!!!! Not in so many words, but that's basically what she was saying. She also said that it's not cheating because they're just talking and taking things slow. UM HELLO!!!!!! That is cheating honey and if he felt like the long distance wasn't working out he should've had the balls to tell me that he felt it wasn't working out.

Would I have cried? Sure I would've. Would I be hurt? Yeah, but it would've been better than having basically your secretary tell me that I shouldn't talk to you and that we can be friends. Why would I want to be friends with someone like him???

In a way I'm ecstatic that we never met and that we never did a single thing together besides Skype. I wish I hadn't have bought him that camera though because we only talked on skype maybe 2 or 3 times. UGH!!!!!!! I feel like I wasted a whole year and now this just 22 days before my 21st. Here I am thinking we're going to reconcile and I'm going to get some money together and get out there to meet him and he's just cheating with an ex. WOW just complete and utter wow. I don't even know what else to say, but like I said I'm not surprised because if you look at the signs it was all there.

[BlueCat]

I guess all I can say is that I'm really sorry it didn't work out. Not even having met yet either... you would want him to be excited and looking forward for a chance to do that, but unfortunately it seems obvious from what you've said that he has no real interest in continuing the relationship. Best just to let it go and not let him have the last laugh by letting it bring you down. And yes, at this point, certainly a positive that you never met up.

[temporaryuser]

ugh, I'm so sorry. But really, this way you found out what was going on without any bs from him. No beating around the bush, no more lies etc. would be interesting to know if she told him she talked to you. Guess youll find out if you dont initiate any more contact with him and he messages you to see whats going on.
As far as I am concerned, anyone that jumps into something with someone that is altready in a relationship, can have that person. If they do it one, there is a strong possibility they will do it again.
Stay strong, because this didn't work out, it just means that there is something better out there waiting for you. And for it to happen before your 21st means that you can go out and have a good time for your birthday and not feel guilty about not being with him.

[Romeo s Juliet]

wow what a little cheater. i m so sorry for you :/ hugs
its so great that you figured out now that later, and yes dnt give him a chance to have the last laugh so be strong. and dont think that by being in a relationship with hom for over a year that you have wasted that whole time on him, because now u learnt alot through the whole experience and you know that you definitely deserve someone better. an it will also help you to set your priorities right when you start another relationship with someone in the future

[lonelyinlove]

Everything happens for a reason && now you are FREE to find someone/let yourself be found by real Love.....

[Haley53]

I'm wondering what you mean by "talking" and why talking to an ex is considered cheating? While the things she said were suspicious enough, I'm surprised you broke up with him without even giving him a call to talk to him about what happened. While I would admit the things she said sounded like a meddling ex, it does not, to me, sound like he actually cheated. Talking to an ex-partner, assuming you mean simply talking to them and reconnecting, is not the same as cheating, and quite frankly, it's controlling to think you can limit your partner's interactions and exclude his exes for jealousy problems of your own. However, I won't judge without knowing more of the situation, but from what you said here, it's enough to warrant talking for clarification but not a break-up on the basis of cheating, in my opinion. I'm sorry it happened, but before you turned to doing anything, I probably would have spoken to him about what happened first, or I would, if you haven't done anything. :/

[Captivated]

Yeah I'm a little confused as well. Did you actually talk to him after his ex spoke to you? Talking is talking. That's not cheating - depending on what kind of talk it is. Just a little vague there.

In any case, hope you can find some resolution on the matter.

[yayagrl]

SHE is the one that told me that they are trying to rekindle things and that they are trying to get back together. She basically said our relationship has no merit because we haven't met yet. I have absolutely no issue with him talking to whomever he wants. I knew they hung out and he told me about her once or twice before. She messaged me from HIS facebook. I'm not sad at all as I kind of suspected this was going on. I haven't had a chance to talk to him because she told me that SHE told him not to talk to me because she doesn't want him talking to other girls.

We aren't even broken up, that's the thing. I was under the impression that he and I were working on our relationship. He's been ignoring my calls and texts, so I haven't had a chance to talk to him and it's like he NEVER gets online anymore. It's sooooo rare. I've been trying for a long while to get him to talk to me. He lost his phone and so we haven't talked. I'm wondering if him losing his phone was just a lie and he had it turned off because of her. The conversation to me seemed like she was a little crazy and possessive. I've never stopped him from talking to anyone that would be wrong.

Honestly if they want to be together that's fine as she is in the same city and state as he is, but He should've talked to me about it first. So yeah I see it as cheating who knows if they are doing more than just talking. I'm not sad at all. Disappointed and upset yep. Sad nope, I've been preparing myself for this as I kind of saw it coming and it makes soooo much sense to me

[notyourexgirlfriend]

He may not have been physically cheating but there may have been emotional cheating. Cheating is cheating no matter what way you paint it. In my eyes it doesn't matter if they physically become involved, emotional is enough. I've been on the receiving end of emotional cheating with my ex who actually did move on with the person he cheated with. She's due to have his baby in about 6 weeks time.

I really do hope you can find someone that is more deserving of you. Hold your head high hun.

[Haley53]

I'm not trying to insinuate nothing is going on. I guess it's something I'd rather hear from the horse's mouth, but maybe that's because I know someone whose relationship was ruined over a meddling ex for a while? And the exes relationship was thus ruined later, due to the meddling. However, if you can't get a hold of him, then I suppose it makes it difficult to even discuss it with him. I guess I found it weird she even messaged you at all from his Facebook; seems a little bit crazy and possessive but more meddling-ex style than I'm-the-woman-he's-having-an-affair-with style. I do agree that cheating is cheating. I guess for me, this was more an issue of you not having received information from him but from what sounds like an insane third party. I do wish you the best of luck. You deserve better, if it turns out he really is doing what she's claiming. :/

[yayagrl]

I may never find out the truth. She told me that he gave her his password. I've tried getting in contact with him to no avail. So I may never hear from him again. Doesn't make me sad one bit. Makes me feel free. Or maybe that's just for now. Maybe I'll feel sad at another time. I dunno. Thanks for the support guys. I did tell her that I wanted to hear it from him and not her. She told me that she told him she would handle it and thought it would sound better woman to woman. Which I think is plain old stupid. Our relationship has nothing to do with her, so I don't get why she would think that. She told me that he would call tonight from her phone because his is messed up and that she'd be standing right there. It really does sound like meddling ex Eclaire. It really does. If they want to be together then that's on them. I'm moving on. thanks again guys

[Honeypie]

I guess I'm the type that wants to hear things from the person I'm in the relationship with not an outsider .... but if he won't talk to you I just wonder about her, maybe she's just sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong & trying to cause a problem.

As long as your good with everything now that's what really matters

[princessmeg1328]

I'm so sorry that happened! I know that you two have been struggling for a while, but I never imagined that he would try to restart something with an ex. To me, that is definitely cheating. You deserve so much better than him. If you need anything, let me know.

[yayagrl]

I figured that him avoiding me and telling me he was a smoker was an attempt to get me to break up with him and when that wasn't working she stepped in. It doesn't matter to me anymore. I see him for what he really is and I should've seen it a long long time ago. I just stuck around thinking that he would change and that he was actually telling me the truth. He's always worried about making people upset because he doesn't like to deal with conflict. Which is why he was too afraid to just tell me himself, but her standing in the way didn't help either. It's done. It's over. I doubt she's lying. And yeah I would like to hear all this from him. but I highly highly doubt that I ever will. I also doubt that I'll ever hear from him again. I'm sad and upset that things ended the way they did, but I know that it happened for a reason.

Even now that we aren't talking anymore I'm still on the same damn emotional rollercoaster that he kept me on when we were together.

[Zephii]

I'm sorry that you've put so much time, effort and love into this relationship for this result, but he does sound a bit juvenile (getting this chick to speak for him, trying to get you to break it off first etc) so I'm glad you're feeling free.
If I were over there, we'd totally go to the pub or something and have a drink to liberation!

You're great, you're funny and smart. I hope your heart heals swiftly even if you don't get the closure you deserve.
Many carrots xx