Her parents are annoying >_<

[fehe001]

It will be tricky indeed, we had to wait for so long and then we finally will be so close to each-other and her parents will be in the way

[Haley53]

I feel like you need to stop seeing this as a missed opportunity and feel grateful that you get to spend time with her. Yes, it's an unfortuante situation when you don't get to have an immediate physical connection with someone with whom there's the want and chemistry to simply hold them, and everything beyond that, but it isn't everything. I understand that you "had no intentions of taking things slow," but sex really isn't everything, and maybe you can take this opportunity to get to know her and to get to know her parents as best as you can, regardless of their history of disapproval. I honestly am not sure how someone coming all the way from the UK and then their daughter going back with him is, by any means, subtle, but my guess would be they already have their suspicions and so making the most of it is going to be what'll make your best impression.

I'm sorry her parents are being unreasonable, but if it's one thing I've learned in a LDR, it's that you appreciate simply being able to stand next to them because you don't get it often. Even though there are times you want to kiss them or even reach out and hold their hand, sometimes it's worth it simply being in their company and proximity. And I think to help you feel better about this situation, you need to work on your perspective so that it's closer to "I get a week with her" and not "this sucks, I don't get to kiss and have sex with her." Since it's obvious her parents aren't changing, my guess would be your perspective should. Not only might you get more opportunities than you're describing, because I'm guessing you'll all go out as a group without her parents?, but you're going to squander your time if you spend it sulking over what you can't do. My opinion is the bad news has been delivered, you've ranted about it, and now it's time to reconsider your perspective and make the most of it.

ETA: You also get to bring her back for a week, so you still have the opportunity; it's simply delayed.

[Anna N' Luc]

I meant that it doesn't matter if they know about us in the future because she is going to university in Milan so they can't do anything to stop us being together, but for now we have to hide our relationship for the next few months because she is still living with her parents. I obviously want to meet and get to know her parents, however I would prefer to do it after she goes off to university so we can tell them the truth, because if we tell them the truth later they will never trust me in the future and we will never get on well.

And how will her parents feel when she goes to University and they do find out that "we're dating now and there's nothing you can do to stop it". Like Moon said, parents aren't stupid, even if they don't pick up on it while you're there, once you do tell them, they'll know that you were dating when you came to visit and that will probably make them feel hurt, lied to, used, angry and disappointed. Then how much do you think they'll like you? Also, even though they won't be able to stop you guys from being together once your SO starts University, they can still make it perfectly clear to the both of you that they aren't happy which would make any relationship hard. I think that once you get there maybe sit down with your SO and her parents and explain the situation, how you feel, that you love their daughter and you would like their approval. Another thing, even if they did know about you guys and were ok with the relationship, would you really be making out and all over each other in front of them anyway? I don't know if it's just me but I'd find that kind of disrespectful.

[fehe001]

Thank you guys

[lademoiselle]

I've been with my SO for almost two years now and I've never been able to have him stay at mine. I still live with my parents, who have always been pretty strict and simply wouldn't allow it. My advice to you would be to be patient with the situation and make the best impression you can. Yes, you've waited a long time to be with your SO, but you have a real chance here to start off on the right foot with her parents. Take it! I can tell you from experience that lying and sneaking does nothing but complicate matters down the line. Good luck

[fehe001]

And how will her parents feel when she goes to University and they do find out that "we're dating now and there's nothing you can do to stop it". Like Moon said, parents aren't stupid, even if they don't pick up on it while you're there, once you do tell them, they'll know that you were dating when you came to visit and that will probably make them feel hurt, lied to, used, angry and disappointed. Then how much do you think they'll like you? Also, even though they won't be able to stop you guys from being together once your SO starts University, they can still make it perfectly clear to the both of you that they aren't happy which would make any relationship hard. I think that once you get there maybe sit down with your SO and her parents and explain the situation, how you feel, that you love their daughter and you would like their approval. Another thing, even if they did know about you guys and were ok with the relationship, would you really be making out and all over each other in front of them anyway? I don't know if it's just me but I'd find that kind of disrespectful.

My SO really believes there's no way we can tell her parents so unfortunately there's no way we can sit down and talk about it as mature people would do :/
And obviously we wouldn't make out and be all over each other in front of her parents, but you know at least I could hold her in my arms now and then ect.

I'm just simply sad because the plan changed for the worse, but yes you are all right, it's still better than nothing

[rixue]

Thought I would throw my two cents in here since I was kind of in a similar situation...

My SO wanted to come visit me for the first time this January. I was pretty sure my parents would reject the idea of a guy from the internet visiting their daughter since they are normally way overprotective. Could he have visited my city and stayed at a hotel and we could hang out without my parents knowing? Yes, but we both decided against going that route. We wanted to be upfront and honest about our relationship and wanted him to be able to get to know my parents and vice versa. Plus that would kill the trust factor with my parents and my SO (also with me). I told my parents about him the day after we officially started going out and the conversation pretty much went like this:

"There is this guy that I like, and it would mean a lot to me if you were able to meet him and get to know him. The only issue with that is he lives in West Virginia, and we met over the internet. Since I am currently on winter break I was thinking he could possibly come and visit for a few days." And surprisingly enough my parents were receptive to the idea (my dad more so than my mother).

My mother did set some ground rules for his visit: He had to stay in a hotel, no going back to his hotel room, we would have to be chaperoned if we left to go anywhere, and things like that. Since I am 22 I should be able to do what I want right? Technically yes, but I live under my parents roof and what they say goes. Even though my SO and I were not crazy about the rules for his visit, at least he was able to visit me. After the first few hours of my SO 's visit my parents completely scraped the idea of us having to be chaperoned for every activity we did. They really warmed up to him and saw he was not the stereotypical "creepy guy over the internet who wants to harm my daughter". My mom actually made a joke about that . Skip forward a few days into my SO's visit and my mom approached me saying he did not have to stay at the hotel for the remainder of his visit and could stay at our house (with some rules of course).

Thought you might want to see what could happen if you are honest with her parents about your relationship. If you do tell them about your relationship before your visit they might respect you more for that. My parents actually talked to my SO for a few minutes on Skype once or twice before he came to visit so he wouldn't be a complete stranger once he got here. Since his visit, my parents have allowed him to come back and even let me stay out at his place. I saw you posted that her parents do not speak English: you could learn a bit of the language they speak to at least be able to introduce yourself to them when you arrive. If you cannot do that you will to rely on your SO as the translator.

Anyways, good luck with the visit and deciding on how to go about it!

[fehe001]

Well she went back to Italy, her parents liked me, we got in really well, they don't know about us, we both had an amazing time together, the goodbye was horrible :/