Hi everyone. I haven't posted here much but have been reading your stories since I joined LFAD. I have to say that this is a great community.
First a little background. I have started working in this company exactly a year ago, on July 2011. I have got this position since I am bilingual, as the company needed a translator. That is how I met my SO, who was one of the owners of the company (read: boss), but nothing happened till November 2011. He showed interest in me, we talked, he said he had a crush on me, and the rest is history. He lives in Athens, Greece, I am in Serbia.
Everything was okay in the first couple of months. He used to come to Belgrade more often, apart from the fact that he was coming here mainly for work, we had a nice time together. He asked me that no one in the company should know of our relationship, and I respected that, although I didn't really like it.
Around February the problems started, both with work and in our relationship. The company in Greece started having financial problems, and he was very stressed about that. The sister company in Serbia didn't do well either. I was stressed because we talked less, and I missed him a lot. The longest time between visits was 3 months, and I think it was the worst period in our relationship.
He told me to give him some time to think what he wants to have with me and what he can do for our relationship. I think I gave him enough time, and last time he came for a visit (end of May) I asked him whether he planned something more serious with me. He didn't reply immediately, but told me he currently has too many problems in his life he can't escape or solve. He asked me whether I would leave everything here and move with him to Athens, I said "yes". He held my hand.
That same night he texted me asking me whether I was okay. I replied "How should I be okay when I love you?" And he said that I should be happy for the time we had together, for the things we did together, yada yada yada. I felt like someone had taken the ground under my feet. I didn't sleep at all that night. Next day I came to him and cried in his arms. I know, pathetic, but the only thing I wanted was to be with him.
Before he left, he told me he couldn't have a girlfriend at that time, that he lost interest in life and in love, and some more depressive thoughts of that sort, but that didn't stop him from making love to me.
When he returned to Athens, he changed. He stopped calling me and texting me. We still had to talk about work, but that was all. I felt awful.
Two days ago, I sent him an email explaining my thoughts and feelings. I told him I understood his problems with work and not having time and will, told him I loved him but couldn't stand it anymore. He is my first boyfriend, the first man I slept with. He is special to me. But I didn't wait all these years for a superficial relationship.
His answer was that he has the nicest feelings for me, but he can't be my husband and I can't be his wife. He told me that he wasn't talking to me because he wanted me to surpass the tension I had with him. And when I told him that I never wanted him to be my husband, he replied that he wanted me to be his wife. But that he gave it a lot of thought and ended up with the conclusion that we wouldn't be happy together. He also told me he wanted me to be there for him, and him being there for me in this life. He said he wanted me to be happy, and that he knows it.
I didn't reply. I knew that was it. I got home from work and started crying my eyes off.
Three hours since his last email, he called me. I was surprised and wandered whether to answer, but eventually did. He asked me how I was feeling. He realised I was crying, and asked me why I was crying. What was I supposed to do? I love him, it hurts. We talked about half an hour. He started saying sweet things to me, which he didn't do in weeks. When we hang up, I he just left me perplexed. Why did he call me when he wanted me to surpass the tension with not communicating with me? What is he really wanting and feeling?
He is to come to Serbia next week, and I am not sure what I should do. What to tell him, and how to act? My feelings for him are very strong, but I am stressed and sad. I am not sure whether I should give it some more time, or just come to terms with the fact this should be over.
Any opinions?
First a little background. I have started working in this company exactly a year ago, on July 2011. I have got this position since I am bilingual, as the company needed a translator. That is how I met my SO, who was one of the owners of the company (read: boss), but nothing happened till November 2011. He showed interest in me, we talked, he said he had a crush on me, and the rest is history. He lives in Athens, Greece, I am in Serbia.
Everything was okay in the first couple of months. He used to come to Belgrade more often, apart from the fact that he was coming here mainly for work, we had a nice time together. He asked me that no one in the company should know of our relationship, and I respected that, although I didn't really like it.
Around February the problems started, both with work and in our relationship. The company in Greece started having financial problems, and he was very stressed about that. The sister company in Serbia didn't do well either. I was stressed because we talked less, and I missed him a lot. The longest time between visits was 3 months, and I think it was the worst period in our relationship.
He told me to give him some time to think what he wants to have with me and what he can do for our relationship. I think I gave him enough time, and last time he came for a visit (end of May) I asked him whether he planned something more serious with me. He didn't reply immediately, but told me he currently has too many problems in his life he can't escape or solve. He asked me whether I would leave everything here and move with him to Athens, I said "yes". He held my hand.
That same night he texted me asking me whether I was okay. I replied "How should I be okay when I love you?" And he said that I should be happy for the time we had together, for the things we did together, yada yada yada. I felt like someone had taken the ground under my feet. I didn't sleep at all that night. Next day I came to him and cried in his arms. I know, pathetic, but the only thing I wanted was to be with him.
Before he left, he told me he couldn't have a girlfriend at that time, that he lost interest in life and in love, and some more depressive thoughts of that sort, but that didn't stop him from making love to me.
When he returned to Athens, he changed. He stopped calling me and texting me. We still had to talk about work, but that was all. I felt awful.
Two days ago, I sent him an email explaining my thoughts and feelings. I told him I understood his problems with work and not having time and will, told him I loved him but couldn't stand it anymore. He is my first boyfriend, the first man I slept with. He is special to me. But I didn't wait all these years for a superficial relationship.
His answer was that he has the nicest feelings for me, but he can't be my husband and I can't be his wife. He told me that he wasn't talking to me because he wanted me to surpass the tension I had with him. And when I told him that I never wanted him to be my husband, he replied that he wanted me to be his wife. But that he gave it a lot of thought and ended up with the conclusion that we wouldn't be happy together. He also told me he wanted me to be there for him, and him being there for me in this life. He said he wanted me to be happy, and that he knows it.
I didn't reply. I knew that was it. I got home from work and started crying my eyes off.
Three hours since his last email, he called me. I was surprised and wandered whether to answer, but eventually did. He asked me how I was feeling. He realised I was crying, and asked me why I was crying. What was I supposed to do? I love him, it hurts. We talked about half an hour. He started saying sweet things to me, which he didn't do in weeks. When we hang up, I he just left me perplexed. Why did he call me when he wanted me to surpass the tension with not communicating with me? What is he really wanting and feeling?
He is to come to Serbia next week, and I am not sure what I should do. What to tell him, and how to act? My feelings for him are very strong, but I am stressed and sad. I am not sure whether I should give it some more time, or just come to terms with the fact this should be over.
Any opinions?
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