My ex LDR seems to be having regrets.

[Biscous]

Part of this is chronicling my life the past two months since the break up and how I dealt with it, just in case someone goes into the devastating experience of a break up.

I posted on here a few times about my relationship and some of my worriness about things. Her distancing herself and making me low priority. Some people on here were saying that I was selfish, overbearing, etc because of some of the things going on. How I paid for her to come out to see me late May then she bailed on me for an internship interview, which she told me started in June and she already got, and me getting angry. I think I expose some of my inner feelings more in here a bit. She said the distance seemed indefinite, said if she moved out with me that she feels like she's just working on a relationship, that she doesn't see Texas in her future. All of this was sudden with no warning and all of that hurt me.

She said she needed space. Broke up with me over FB and didn't bother to call me. Got mad at me because I asked for my money back and my items back, which to this day she hasn't returned. She wanted her things back but I could not guarantee that my items would be returned.

Then I did No Contact for 7 weeks. I have been focusing on my career, my own self esteem. Part of me wish she would come back in my life. I saw a month into it she removed a number of pictures of us together on FB. Shortly thereafter I saw she was talking to her ex...who now lived in NY and he was stating how much he loved her. She told me how horrible he was. He tried to contact me with some horrible things about her. She got a detective to put a case against him for a number of things. Now he's publically saying he loves her. He also states that he was coming to see her in a few days. And she complained OUR distance was hard...

Two weeks ago she contacts me. I ignore it. Last night she attempts to contact me. I ignore it. She messages me on Facebook:

"How are you?"
"Biscous, please answer me!"
"Okay I get it. Just wanted to see if you're well and happy"

How convenient now she cares. I just want to say to others on here that I wish you all the best of luck in your relationships and value the time you have with those who you love. I sacrificed a number of things to make the relationship work, but sometimes they do not. If things do not work out , realize you will be okay and it isn't the end of the world. You will become a better person. Thank that person for the experience you two had.

I really wish to talk to her and reconcile a bit just to be friendly, but I really cannot forgive her at this point and I am still in a healing process myself.

[Haley53]

I would be wary. Especially given her history, that honestly seems like an opener for "wanted to see if you're well and happy, but now can I have my turn to tell you how much better I'm doing?" I've seen it happen before and it's really unnecessary so good on you for sticking to your guns about it. Your words of advice are sound, and I do hope they help those here who have recently been through their own break-ups.

[Biscous]

I would be wary. Especially given her history, that honestly seems like an opener for "wanted to see if you're well and happy, but now can I have my turn to tell you how much better I'm doing?" I've seen it happen before and it's really unnecessary so good on you for sticking to your guns about it. Your words of advice are sound, and I do hope they help those here who have recently been through their own break-ups.

Certainly. It has potential to restart the healing process again. Of course most people need time by themselves, and I genuinely by YOURSELF (not involved with anyone physically or emotionally) for a good amount of time to work on yourself, reflect on the relationship, prevent severing future relationships by jumping in one. Also, depending on the nature of the break up, you two can fix things and reconcile. I believe in my case personally I cannot reconcile. She hurt me too much. Also the fact that she jumped back to her ex ASAP tells me about her own emotional fickleness. Life is hard enough and you do not need your partner making things more difficult to be together.

Part of me wants to make a sarcastic remark, but maybe its just best to be successful. I'm doing great in my personal life. I want the right person for me, but not a substitute. I am content in waiting for that person and love truly has no distance.

[rixue]

Like Eclaire said I would be wary given the situation. If it were me I wouldn't really both responding at all, better for the healing process. Plus you wouldn't really get anything good from it :/

I'm doing great in my personal life. I want the right person for me, but not a substitute. I am content in waiting for that person and love truly has no distance.

Glad to hear you are doing well!

[Jessipoo]

This gives me hope. I'm doing better with my break up, not so much the NC (but for the first month of it I didn't know if we were actually broken up since he didn't actually say it). I feel guys are much stronger with the NC, once you guys set your mind to something, that's it whether it's emotions or something else.

[kittyo9]

Complete no-contact was the only way I was able to move on from my previous relationships. After my last relationship (not my current), in which I was frequently pushed around and coerced into doing things I didn't really want to do and replaced by another girl, I ended things (perhaps a little dramatically) and broke off all contact immediately. He kept trying to contact me, though, saying he wanted to be friends because he liked having me around and stuff. I started off saying okay, fine, we'll keep talking, but in the end, it really didn't work for me and prevented the healing process entirely, so I cut him off completely and spent the next few months focusing on myself. I didn't care that I was single-- I really needed the time to devote to myself. I traveled and changed my philosophy a little. It was a tremendous period of personal growth for me.

So, yeah... it sounds like you're doing really well, and I'm glad you've come so far! Don't let her slow you down. There will be plenty of time to touch base with her when you feel like you are ready to. Until then, it's probably a better idea just to avoid talking to her and to excel in your own life. YOU are awesome, and down the road, when you have healed, you will find someone that is right for you.

[xopookie]

what a ..... K I'm done but I'm glad you moved on! That's how it's suppose to be handled!! Cheers to that!

[Biscous]

Thanks guys.

I truly wish this was a success story, but she is not the person I once thought she used to be. Now instead of focusing on building a relationship between us, since it is over, I have focused on my friendships here. My career. I have always been physically active but I have picked up boxing.

Definitely focus on the good things in your life and cherish those arounds you. I wish everyone successful relationships here!

[Biscous]

The true measure of a person is how they treat you after they cease to love you. -unknown

[notyourexgirlfriend]

The true measure of a person is how they treat you after they cease to love you. -unknown

^^ Oh how I agree with this...