idk anymore please help.

[RubySlippers]

not sure were to post this but any advice please help.

i don't know why I'm feeling this way however, my bf is flying all the way from Italy to see me because we are now in a long distance relationship for seven months so he's coming down to spend 2.5 weeks with me. however, I'm starting to get a bit uncomfortable for the simple fact that I'm an American and hes Italian it never brothered me at first because he was living here in the US. he was telling me how he spent time with his siblings as well as his siblings gf and husband. how he had fun with them laughing gone out to eat etc. and that's when my insecurities kicked in because i realized if i were to ever go visit his family i would be the odd ball. i wouldn't know what they talking about and i wouldn't be able to enjoy myself nor feel comfortable. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way however, i already explained to him and told him that he is better off without me and he should find a Italian woman. so communication would be better off. i feel as though he'll be better off and much happier and i don't to not be liked by his family nor looked down upon.

he text me earlier stating everything going to be ok i'll be find and he understand my discomfort but i dont think he really does.

[Moon]

Communication isn't just language, there's a lot more to it than that. My guy's mother doesn't speak English, and I don't speak Finnish, but we had a great time together a few weeks ago, she was very impressed with me and liked me very much It took my boyfriend three years to introduce us because of the language barrier, but it turned out great. But Finnish is one thing and Italian is another, Italian isn't very hard for English speakers to learn. If the language difference is really bothering you, start learning Italian! There are SO many free ways to do it, and it will show your guy that you respect him and his heritage enough to put in the effort.

Don't worry so much about language, people are just people everywhere, we're all the same. Be nice, decent and respectful and you won't have a problem. If you love the guy and think there's a chance you'll be together long term, learn his language, seriously. I'm sure he'd eventually want to take you to Italy to visit, which should be fun and exciting, so make it easier on yourself and put the time and effort in, you'll feel much more comfortable if you've learned the basics by then.

Keep in mind, this is America, we are a nation of immigrants, and millions here are speaking English as their second language. The chances of someone dating a person born in another country are high here, and not at all unusual, so your situation is common. Do some research about how other international couples have dealt with that, if you feel unsure. Something small like his family not speaking English shouldn't be a barrier to your relationship, make sure inside yourself that you aren't using that as an excuse because of your own insecurities of him being away for a short while.

Oh yeah, here's a good free resource for starting to learn Italian....www.livemocha.com

[Haley53]

My SO's mother spoke English and she had a thicker accent and a way of speaking that made it difficult for me to understand, as did my SO's mother's brother (who put truth to the idea that Irish people speak quickly). It did feel a little bit awkward. After all, I'm the American and I draw out every letter, to an extent, as opposed to cutting off the ends of words and sailing through my speech like it's a sprint to the finish, but in the end, his mother and family wanted to get to know me, because they supported him and me as his girlfriend, and so if there were sometimes awkward moments because I didn't quite process what was said immediately, they handled it gracefully. I can't say that, beyond my own shyness, I felt awkward or out of place at all.

The thing is, if his parents and family are supportive of him and his relationship, they're going to be interested in getting to know you, and they're probably going to be nervous as well! Even my SO mentioned his mother being shy and nervous! It's meeting someone new who feels so different because they're from a different country and culture, and in your case, there might be a bit of a language barrier (do none speak English?), but at the same time, it's exciting in the same way as visiting your SO's country for the first time is exciting. They're not going to want to make you uncomfortable and they're going to want to try as best as they can, too. They aren't going to condemn or criticise you for not knowing Italian if that's not in their nature already (like if they don't support his relationship).

Meeting the parents is, culturally, typically anxiety-provoking in general, and the idea of language barriers can make it worse, but as opposed to setting them on a pedestal as people who are going to look down on you for not being able to communicate, know that they're probably nervous and excited to meet you as well, and probably will have the same nerves about trying to communicate, though my guess would be they'd try. Most parents that aren't the parents from hell do.