We NEVER talk anymore

[foreverhiskitty]

so I need some help/ideas. My SO and I text off and on throughout the day but when we get on the phone at night it has turned into something like this:
Me:hey baby
SO: hey, whats up?
Me: not to much. you?
SO: nothing
....long silence......
SO: i'm gonna go to bed night i love you
Me:night i love you too

thats pretty much our phone conversations every night and I hate that I feel like we don't have anything to say to each other. Does anyone have any ideas to help this out?

[ChibiFelicia]

maybe dont text throughout the day? Then you can tell each other abotu your day in the evening?

[rixue]

You could try and do something like 20 questions :P Me and my SO wanted to stay up and talk one night and did not really know what to talk about. He asked about my desires in life etc and we got into a long conversation and before we knew it 3 hours had passed! We got to know a bit more about each other through that which was nice!

[MadMolly]

Only call if you have something to talk about. And if you're texting all day, try not texting and talk about your days when you call. You don't have to be on the phone/in contact all day, every day! A little time apart does wonders for conversation.

[Haley53]

Depending on how serious you want to be, I posted a thread on exercises to deepen your foundation of friendship to avoid these types of problems:

https://members.lovingfromadistance....ship-Exercises!

[Kiyama]

I think a lot of couples go through such a phase. Have you tried questions for couples? There are some free PDFs on the Internet or the ebook "one thousand questions for couples". Gives you lots to talk about
Otherwise I'd also suggest not to text too much. My SO and I only use texts for little love messages but our actual conversations happen via phone. That way we don't run out of stuff to talk about that easily.

[dglynn77]

the ebook "one thousand questions for couples". Gives you lots to talk about

Boyfriend and I got this book lately as our conversations were dragging...
We have only used the first 3 pages of the book, but we found our conversations again and rarely talk for less than 2-3 hours!
I think it was helpful even for ideas! We haven't done the book in several weeks, as our conversations are doing so well, and I know we can always go back to it if things go down again.

[faith_patience_believe]

My boyfriend and I found some books at the library that have hundreds of questions for couples. I'm sure you can find some online too. whenever we run out of things to talk about, we open one of the books and ask questions. Don't hurry through the questions. let them spark more conversation.

[Spriteling]

When my girlfriend and I run out of things to talk about, we like to have what we call "Random Question Time". We alternate asking each other about totally random things. Previous topics have included our first memories, our favourite books, the types of gemstones we like, so on and so forth. If you can't think of questions to ask, the internet has a lot of helpful suggestions.

[Nbaby]

I kinda have the same problem but only the other way around. Talking through skype goes alright.. but chatting or texting is exactly as how u typed it. I dont know what to do about it. It wasn't always like this. It feels like im the only one actually making an efford asking all these questions *sigh*.

Anyway my advice to you would be, think about what you can talk about before the actual conversation. Maybe you have a funny story to share about work it can be anything. Just bring out random topics and hopefully the conversation starts off from there. I hope it helps

[notyourexgirlfriend]

My SO and I send random texts throughout the day but there is no expectation to do that. We also Skype chat daily and sometimes we don't have a lot to say to each other and we're OK with that. Maybe you need to say less in your texts and save more for actual conversations? My SO and I often use random reddit posts to break the ice when we don't have a lot to say. It helps.

[Jgui]

I'm sure every relationship goes through this. But as some posters have stated, don't text as much throughout the day and wait until when you're on the phone to talk about it. Be aware of what happens throughout the day (good & bad) and bring it up during the phone call to talk about what happened. Maybe suggest reading an article or something along those lines and have a deeper conversation about it over the phone.

I also agree with getting the "1000 questions" book. I actually just got the ebook myself and am looking forward to some of the questions to ask my SO when we talk this weekend.

[foreverhiskitty]

thanks for the advice everyone. We are trying to talk more about our day at night instead of texting and have even used the "questions for couples" and my SO is actually into it.