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**Zapookie** · July 23, 2012, 04:04 AM

I met my SO online. Friends for a year before we became an item. I met him 7 months after that..

It was perfect. He was perfect. Our connection was there and we were like best friends but we had that spark as well.

Don't be scared. If he knows what you look like and you've both been honest up until this point, there's no reason why your relationship shouldn't carry over into the offline world.

**Sora1101** · July 23, 2012, 04:42 AM

Have you met your SO yet? If so, how did it go? I have met my SO and it was honestly the best day of my life so far, I can't even begin to describe how magical it was.
Have there been more ldrs (on this forum) that have had a successful first visit, or a bad one? As far as I know the almost 2 years I've been here I've only seen 2 threads about first meetings that ended badly out of hundreds.

Were you let down, surprised, or disappointed when you first met your So in person? I was surprised, I had seen pictures and video chatted with my SO before the visit but once I met him in person he looked so different, I guess I just pictured his stature differently and it shocked me but in a good way.
How many people here have had a ldr fail because one person or the other was rejected upon meeting (like, based on appearance or something physical)? Like I said I've only seen 2 so far, one was because the dude was a total jerk and thought she wasn't as pretty in person and the other ended mutually after they realized there wasn't a good chemistry between them.
How did you feel when going to meet them for the first time? I was totally nervous I couldn't even sleep a couple nights before meeting him and was being overly self conscious about whether or not he'd find me attractive, all irrational but totally normal feelings before meeting someone so utterly important but as soon as we hugged everything clicked and it was like we had been together all along.

**Zephii** · July 23, 2012, 07:12 AM

Don't panic.

I've been on the forums for three years and can recall less than a handful of times people have come back unsatisfied by their first meet. Most people seem to have pretty good judgement, from what I've seen.

For me, it was great. He was everything he said he'd be and more. I was a bit surprised by his appearance when I met him, there are some things that don't show up on webcam, but obviously, it wasn't enough to change how we felt about each other.

I was more afraid of the flight than of meeting him but then I'd known him online for nearly 5 years, and it was all a bit surreal. Almost like an out of body experience. Meeting him was, hands down, the best day of my life.

You'll be fine. No one is perfect - and no one has a flawless body. He wont care. When they love what's on the inside of you, the outside glows in their eyes and that light blinds them from the bad spots!!

**lucybelle** · July 23, 2012, 09:47 AM

I think most people are always very happy with their first meeting. The process usually goes like this: "I'm nervous, what if s/he doesn't like _____ things about me??" then "We had a GREAT time together"

You'll be fine

**CanadianGirl** · July 23, 2012, 10:31 AM

I met my SO after about 1 1/2 months of talking online and things went great! It was a tiny bit awkward for the first hour or two, mostly because I kept thinking how crazy the situation was, but we both relaxed and just had fun. He went from being this entertaining chat window to this cute guy who just caught a plane to see me! It's so incredibly rare to see someone come back and be disappointed. Usually couples meet after talking a lot and web camming, so there aren't many big surprises.

**rixue** · July 23, 2012, 02:21 PM

You will be fine!

I was so nervous for the exact same reasons you are when I met my SO for the first time. I found out that I was worrying for nothing. And most likely, he is just as nervous as you are!

We met online so it was defiantly an experience from seeing someone on a computer screen to having them stand right in front of you!

I think I freaked him out a bit though because I wore some boots that made me taller than him (we are the same height) when I picked him up. He was like "I thought we were the same height!?" Since that day I have not worn shoes that make me taller than him XD it is just awkward.

That day was indeed that best day of my life

he was everything I expected and more. My SO could tell I was nervous for the first few minutes of meeting him because the entire thing was surreal. He grabbed my hand and said "There is nothing to be nervous about, I am the same person that you have talked to online. You do not have to worry about me not liking you, I would not have traveled 800 miles if I didn't like you. In fact, you look even more beautiful in person."

Just relax and have fun!

**Katelyn313** · July 23, 2012, 03:16 PM

I met Dylan after about 10 months of knowing him and 4 months of chatting pretty hardcore. It was amazing. I'd never been so relaxed around someone before (especially someone I'd just met) and we complimented each other perfectly. You guys have already talked A TON. So you know a lot about each other already. Just know he's going through the same thing you are: nerves, anxiety, questioning himself.

I was completely nervous going to meet Dylan! I was driving almost four hours by myself. I'd never driven that long before alone. I was worried that he wouldn't like me, I was worried everything he told me was too good to be true... I was sweating practically the whole ride down! But like everyone else said, in the end, I had nothing to worry about.

I try to remember about everything I've worried about in my life and how the actual event (driver's test, first day at college, meeting Dylan) was NEVER as awful as I had thought in my head. You'll be fine and we're all here for you

Good luck and let us know how it goes! And ENJOY!!!!

**Soyokaze** · July 23, 2012, 04:52 PM

I met Matt after knowing him for more than a year and dating for more than 6 months. It was great, we were both nervous at first but once we got used to being around each other face to face everything was awesome. We were both really honest with each other about everything so there were no disappointments. I think most people are nervous right off the bat. In my case it was a very long bus trip home with my brother from Job Corps. I spent most of it listening to music to try and keep from freaking out since I was super nervous. He had to drive up but considering he got there before me and sat in his car until I got home instead of knocking on the door and talking to my mom's boyfriend I'm going out on a limb and saying he was super nervous too.

I wouldn't worry too much, though I know that chances of not worrying are slim to none. It's hard not to fret sometimes but for the most part visits go very well from what I've seen. I don't think you need to be scared about it, everyone gets worried but for the most part it's good news. Besides, you're the same person from online and so is he.

**Dezface** · July 23, 2012, 07:22 PM

- Have you met your SO yet? If so, how did it go?

Yep. It was amazingly fantastic and everything I dreamed it would be.

- Were you let down, surprised, or disappointed when you first met your So in person?

In general he was exactly who I thought he was and us being together worked exactly like I thought it would. There were a few small simple surprises but they were good and were all just a part of us getting to know each other and who we are in "real life."

- How did you feel when going to meet them for the first time?

Sooooo excited!! And a tad nervous too. I kind of hid behind people at the airport so I could see him before he saw me. I was just nervous about that first eye contact!

I think me and my SO had small fears like the ones you're having. That we wouldn't be what the other expected, being together wouldn't be how we imagined it. But we knew each other a long time beforehand too. 16 months to the day to be exact. We already knew each other backwards to forwards emotionally, we just had to catch up on the physical! And we were both well aware of what the other looked like so there were definitely no surprises there! I don't think you have anything to worry about, you're just experiencing general nerves is all

**Jayburr** · July 23, 2012, 11:15 PM

Have you met your SO yet? If so, how did it go?
I met mine about a week and a half ago actually (on FRIDAY THE 13th no less!) and it was beyond perfect. The whole week was an absolute dream, and, also like a dream, it went by way too fast...

Were you let down, surprised, or disappointed when you first met your So in person?
None of the above, I was blown away, to say the least... It's funny, because she was constantly telling me how she's not as attractive as I think she is and that as long as I imagine meeting a walrus, we'll be okay, lol! Basically, she was being a typical girl that has an exaggerated negative opinion of her appearance... We have exchanged tons of pictures, and I knew what she looked like and that she would be stunning, but for some reason she still likes to try and convince me that she's less than what she is... Either way, when I saw her for the first time, she was more amazing than I ever could have expected. Pictures, while pretty accurate, did not do her justice.

How many people here have had a ldr fail because one person or the other was rejected upon meeting (like, based on appearance or something physical)?
Out first meeting was an absolute success, but she was so sure I would reject her based on her looks alone... She went as far as making me promise her that, when we met, if I felt she wasn't what I expected, that I would tell her so that we could immediately go our separate ways. She would drop me off at my hotel, but then she would go home. If things weren't meant to be, she didn't want me to fake any emotion throughout our time together and find out later that it wasn't real... I made her that promise, even though I knew I didn't have to. I knew our meeting would go well.

How did you feel when going to meet them for the first time?
I'm not afraid to say that I was a nervous wreck! My flight was leaving at 6am so, I got absolutely no sleep before having to get up and leave at around 3am. When I arrived at the airport, i was so nervous that I was shaking as I waited in the incredibly long security line. I was SHAKING, and I hadn't even gotten on the plane yet! The flight was only 4 hours but it felt like forever, and I of course got no sleep there either. When I landed, I had to wait at the airport for an extra hour or so because she was on her way to pick me up, but stuck in traffic. I waited in the baggage claim area, where she had called me a few times to give me status updates on where she was and everything. Every time she called, it made me start shaking again because I never knew which phone call was going to be the one where she says "I'm here..." My heart was pounding... When I finally did get that call, I started walking over toward the main entrance where I assumed she had walked in... We were on the phone still, so I was looking for someone who had a phone to their ear but saw none...that's when she told me she went into the bathroom real quick. I was standing at the entrance now, apparently I just missed her... I looked left and saw the bathroom there, and my heart started pounding harder...knowing that she'd be coming out at any second. "Okay, I'm coming out now" she said...and then a few seconds later, I saw her... She was beautiful and beyond perfect, completely exceeding my expectations. She was so nervous that she could barely look at me and rushed me over to the elevator (i.e. somewhere private) where we finally embraced.

I have spent almost every day talking to this man for about a year and a half now and since I'm really, really close to going to visit, I am scared that he's not going to like me. Be it based on appearance, personality, whatever and I just want to hear stories and input from other people to possibly, hopefully, help calm my nerves a little.

My best advice for you, is to just be yourself. Truly. That's probably what everybody says and we've all heard our parents say it over and over, but it's true. If you've been yourself for the time that you've known each other, and he likes you, then he will like the REAL you. As Zapookie said, if you've been honest up to this point, then there's no reason why your relationship shouldn't carry over into the offline world.
With my SO, she was so sure I wouldn't like how she looked, but I had already seen pictures of her and I was very attracted to her so, I knew she had nothing to worry about. If your guy tells you he likes you, trust him. He knows what to expect, as long as you haven't been misleading him. For example, if either of you have been sending pics that aren't really you, then yeah, there might be a problem when meeting...but if you've been honest, about everything, your appearance, your personality, your behavior, job, education, etc...then you have nothing to worry about.

**notyourexgirlfriend** · July 24, 2012, 12:42 AM

Have you met your SO yet? If so, how did it go?

I met my SO after being together for almost 13 months. It went much better than expected. Our first visit was in January, 2nd visit in April and our 3rd visit is planned for September/October

Have there been more ldrs (on this forum) that have had a successful first visit, or a bad one?

I'd like to think there have been more successful visits than failures but I haven't been on the forum for all that long so I can't really give a qualitative answer.

Were you let down, surprised, or disappointed when you first met your So in person?

I was surprised by how polite and courteous he was with me. I thought it may just be an online thing. I wasn't let down or disappointed that's for sure.

How did you feel when going to meet them for the first time?

I was so damn nervous. Butterflies were going overtime in my stomach. I was worried that he'd see me and not like what he saw. That he wouldn't want to be with me, all sorts of negative and nervous emotions. Rather than have him meet me at the airport I had him meet me in the lobby of the hotel. He went in for the kiss in the elevator. It was a little awkward as he was full of nerves too but it was the sweetest moment.

**XxFranticLovexX** · July 24, 2012, 12:59 AM

Originally posted by Jayburr View Post

...

Thank you, so much. I appreciate everyone's responses but yours has helped me the most.
I feel pretty much the way that you described your so feeling.. almost exactly the way that you have described her feeling. lol. I keep telling him "Well, if you don't like me, then we're still really good friends, right?" >_<;
I haven't acted different or lied to him, have sent him pictures of myself, and everything.. and as far as I can tell, and as far as I know, he has done the same. He keeps telling me that he's pretty sure he'll like me, but he questions whether or not I'll like him. He seems far less nervous than I am though, and keeps trying to get me to calm down.. well, either that, or he's really good at hiding the nerves and is trying his best to not make me freak out more. XD

I'm leaving tomorrow night and should get there sometime early Wednesday morning. Wish me luck? I'm probably going to continue being completely terrified until I get there and find out for myself how things go. ^^;;

**LeilaniJoi** · July 24, 2012, 01:08 PM

- Have you met your SO yet? If so, how did it go?
It went perfectly. I think he was more nervous about meeting me than me meeting him, but it was just easy and comfortable. We had only met online 2 months earlier but we just kind of "knew" it was right, if that makes sense. While we said "no expectations" all along before the visit, understanding that there might just not be any chemistry there in person... that got blown away within the first few seconds of being together in person.

- Have there been more ldrs (on this forum) that have had a successful first visit, or a bad one?
I only had 2 LDR before this and there were red flags showing to me. I made a trip to England to discover what I pretty much already knew but had to see for myself. He was a much bigger person online than in person and I dont mean stature, I mean in personality and maturity.

The other LDR I had was successful in that we were married for 8 years; however, I knew pretty soon into it being serious CD that it wasn't going to work. I think I was just too nice to make him leave then. Won't ever make that mistake again.

- Were you let down, surprised, or disappointed when you first met your So in person?
Not at all. We had spent hours and hours on webcam and Skype. If there was any surprise it was how well we fit together physically and how cuddly he was while still keeping the tough guy biker image. Not disappointed at all... loved loved everything about him and still do!

- How many people here have had a ldr fail because one person or the other was rejected upon meeting (like, based on appearance or something physical)?
Yes lol as mentioned before it failed because I was there in person and not 5500 miles away

- How did you feel when going to meet them for the first time?
Excited but not anxious or nervous. When I walked into his arms on our first meeting I knew I'd found home. A year and a half later we are still together, CD for over a year of that and life is great

**Jayburr** · July 24, 2012, 01:12 PM

Yes, you probably will continue being terrified, hehe. Just keep telling yourself that he is feeling and thinking the exact same things that you are. He is probably better at hiding it, and in fact, I told my SO exactly that when we met because she was still very nervous all the way to the hotel, and she mentioned that I didn't seem as nervous... I told her that I was nervous, but that I was just better at hiding it. :P Some times, no matter how scared you both are, one of you needs to be the one that remains calm (or, at least fakes it) to try and make the other person feel better. If you are both scared, then neither of you can help lift each others spirits up.

Good luck! Remember, be yourself!

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