Unconfortable situation.

[Sixx]

So for the past few weeks I've been dealing with a pretty unconfortable situation. It's about my boyfriend, a friend and me.
I'll try to make it short..

I met a guy at the gym I go to, and we became friends. At first it all seemed okay we got along really well, but when I told him I had a boyfriend, he... changed. He became a lot sweeter and started texting me and getting online more often so we talked more, until a week ago or so he told me that he liked me.
I've been "ignoring" the fact that he likes me and trying to act normal since I consider we're good friends.
And my boyfriend, well, I know he will never ask me to stop seeing someone just because of that, but he didn't like the situation at all I feel.

What made it all unconfortable is that the other day, I was talking with my friend and he started saying something about my boy, about him being away and blabla, what I understood of it is that he was like suggesting that I dump him so he gets green light.

..Excuse me? Are you really telling me to dump the boy I'm in love with, who I've gone through A LOT with, for someone who I met not so long ago and doesn't really care about MY feelings? Are you serious!?.... Pfff.


So since that happened, I just act civil around him. But it's still unconfortable and he doesn't seem to give up.
I have to clarify that I love my boyfriend and I don't want to hurt this friend.

Has anyone ever been in this kind of situation?
Some opinion or suggestion? Thank you.

[LadyMarchHare]

Holy potatoes--what?!

I had to pause when I read that AFTER you said you were taken he upped the gooey stuff. Are you kidding me? That's not a good sign, especially after he suggested you leave your SO for him. Just because they're not in the same city/state/country as you doesn't mean the relationship is any less valid or important.

I know you don't want to hurt him, but he has to go. It sounds to me like he isn't going to let up no matter how many times you tell him you're not available. Heck, he probably wouldn't even if your SO spoke to him or got in his face if/when he visits. If he really wants to be your friend he has to quit making googoo eyes at you and respect that, A) you aren't interested, and B) you're taken and are not leaving your man.

[lunamea]

I haven't really been in a situation like this personally, but I know people who behave exactly like your "friend." It struck me as weird that he started making more of an effort after you told him that you had a bf and that reminded me of a friend of mine who has been after some married men (and trying to get them to leave their wives for her became an obsession of hers.) It seems to me that a lot of people look for that ego-boost that goes with having won someone who is already taken. IMO, that is a character flaw, pure and simple. It might come from poor self-confidence or whatever, but I wouldn't want to be friends with anyone who behaves like that and doesn't respect my relationship. I know unrequited love very well, but in my experience, if you truly like/am in love with someone, you don't want to make them uncomfortable and possibly destroy the friendship by confessing to your feelings. That's at least how I dealt with it, I just kept pining away from a distance, knowing that I would just mess everything up and hurt the guy I was in love with (back then) and lose his friendship if I told him about my feelings.

[NaNi]

Dislike. We never had this kind of problem in our relationship, but since I can be very jealous... such a situation would drive me nuts. And as it has been said before... I would also like to see that person go.

[ErinKristine]

I've been through this before in a past relationship, and I just distanced myself from the friend. I didn't cut ties completely, but I wouldn't hang out with him just the two of us and I wouldn't respond to texts or calls immediately. My boyfriend at the time trusted me and knew I wouldn't do anything with this other guy.

Even in my current relationship I have male friends who I know are interested in me, but I just ignore it and continue being friends with them. My SO knows I'm with him and only him, if I wanted to be with any of my male friends then I would have been a long time ago. Although if any of them ever tried to make a move or I felt like they were getting too close for comfort then I would say something and calm down on the communication for a while.

[Caitlin2009]

well if you know your current bf would not ask you to end any type of friendship and even he's uncomfortable with this then i would actually end this friendship because he sounds like a stalker in the making, all sorts of red flags go up with him. Denise had a stalker like that at one point, she said she had someone he said "i dont care" and tried everything to get her alone with him, which she always managed to avoid thank god. But one time she told me he got into her face and refused to let her go anywhere, he left eventually but people who do that after you say you have someone red flags always go up with that. so for your safety i would end that friendship while you can

[Swederica]

Well.
My girlfriend were in a situation that is in some few ways similar.
She met a guy and they became friends and it was pretty obvious that he liked her really much.
But she didn't tell him about me, because we are not 100% official long story. So in a way she led him on believing she was free.
And for the longest time she didn't tell him of me because she didn't want to hurt him.
That's basically the only thing in common with your thing.

But there is not really any miracle way.
In that case my girlfriend did tell him and i'm actually not sure if they even are friends anymore.
But atleast he stopped, which your guy doesn't.

Make sure in some way that it's never going to happen.
Unfortunately you have to do whatever you need to to make him understand.
It's not really your fault, you told him you have a bf. So try not to feel bad about hurting him, since it was he who chose the path to pain.

[Jovan]

My SO was in your situation, right now. Yours is okay. I mean you can keep yourself away from him. But unlike my SO. IDK what is exactly happen. I just hear from her side, that she's not interested with him. When come to trustworthy, its difficult for me because it has been happened before. She seeing someone (Because of her mother was pushing her) and she did tell me but she wasn't. I wish my SO will react as you do. Otherwise our relations will gone.
The guy who is a her colleague (Married man) have asked her, 'Do you love him'
That guy are suckssss...

[Belle]

Sounds like you might have to distance yourself a bit. Even if you dont want to end the friendship, its important that he understands that he is just a friend and will remain that way. Sometimes people give off the wrong signals without even noticing so its better to just back off a little bit. Im sure that even if your SO doesnt get jealous, he would appreciate it.