Communication During Break in LDR

[KyleRivera]

Ok so it's been one week since my uhhh..."girlfriend" initiated this break in our LDR. Since then she has kept communication with me to a minimum. I mean we've talked on the phone maybe 2 times and she has only texted me about 20 times total. I have sent her text messages, for example, and sometimes she will respond right away but most of the time, she will respond at least 12 hours later or a whole day after I send it. Since I love her, I can't help but to text her saying I love her or miss her but have only done so 2 times. About 3 days ago I texted her saying "I have been thinking about you a lot. I miss you," this was at 11 PM. I didn't get a response but she did try to call me at 2:30AM. Not sure if it was just to talk or to maybe say she missed me too and I had work at 5 so we got off and she told me to have sweet dreams (something i hadn't heard in forever). Anyway, the next day we talked for 15 minutes, it was an ok talk I guess.

Then later that night at about 11PM I texted her again saying "I love you so much (with her full name)." I did not get a response from her but saw she had enough time to have a conversation with her friends on facebook. Whatever....about 24 hours later I get a text saying "hey." I am upset that she is making it seem as if she does not miss me or love me anymore...I mean seriously minimal contact, no responses to my messages like that...I don't know what is going on. She said we would talk as we did before we started dating to maybe reignite the "spark." How is this supposed to happen if she hardly talks to me at all?

Since she has sent me that text (last night) I have not responded and don't plan on it...I know it may seem like those childish games but I mean if thats the way she wants to play than I will play it right back even though I HATE these games. I feel like I want to give her an ultimatum saying "ok this break thing is not going to happen. Either you stay with me or I dump you right now. I can't take it when you play these childish games with me." And this break is supposed to take place for the entire month of August? I don't know how I can deal with this for that long if it's going to be like this...

So my questions are as follows: Is it a good idea for me to give her an ultimatum? With the actions she is doing, does it seem as if she might be interested in another BOY or is she just taking the break extremely seriously? If the latter part of the last question is the true part, how can I deal with this? My last question is; do you all think it is a good idea for me to not respond to her text or any calls and make her start to think about things or would that be a bad move? I don't think I can keep conversation with her like this for a whole month. I want to talk to her like we used to and just want her back in my life.

[ChibiFelicia]

I dont feel like you two are on the same page with this whole "break" thing. To me it sounds like she is taking this break seriously. The thing is what is the point of a "break" if you arent going to take it seriously? From what you have posted regarding what you have done during this "break", it doesnt seem like you're taking a break at all.

You said she wants to keep talking but like how you guys spoke before you started dating but you arent doing that. Unless you told her you loved her before you started dating. Im just assuming so correct me if i am wrong but i dont think people in general send "i love you" you texts before dating. To me it sounds like she wants to cool off a bit with you but doesnt want to send the wrong message, as in if she wanted to break up with you she'd not have responded what so ever but she still is. Perhaps you should cool off?

Regarding your questions: -

Ultimatums...jsut dont work. If you want to break up with her then do so. A "break" in a relationship is a break.

Playing the game? I dont agree with them at all. I also dont think (from reading all your posts regarding this break) she is playing a game with you.

I also want to ask you, when you both agreed to go on this break how did you think it would be?

[rawrimolivia]

Listen, if you two are taking a break, then you're on a break, which in most terms means that you aren't talking like you were before. You do that and you're going to push her away even further. The whole point of a break is to take time to think about the relationship, and if you're pushing her and telling her you love her and expecting her to say it back, she's going to feel like she's being rushed. I think you two are on a different page on what a break really is. She needs space, which is why she's probably not texting or calling as much. And even if she is talking to her friends on facebook, it's her friends, she's not taking a break from them, she's taking a break from you.

On top of that, don't give her an ultimatum, it's seriously only been a week. If you really don't want to put up with it, then break up with her. Playing games with peoples feelings is stupid, but I don't feel like she's doing that with you at all, I feel like she's just the one who's taking the break and not you.

[alesitag]

All i can say is if she asked for a break you should respect that and give her the time/space she needs.

I once asked an ex (from a CDR) for a break but he wouldnt stop calling and texting and messaging over facebook and skype and messenger and gtalk... It was overwhelming and i ended up breaking up with him 3 days into our 1 month break.

On the other hand, after my LDR ended, both my ex and i had troubles cutting each other off, but after a while, we were able to do it... Long story short, a month or so after we cut off all communication, he messaged me again and we started talking like we did before dating and we have talked about probably giving it another shot...

It doesnt seem like youre taking this break seriously... I now know better and the best advice i can give you is back off a little... This is not a game, this is something that could either break you guys deffinitely or make you guys grow stronger, it all depends on how you handle it

[KyleRivera]

ChibiFelicia,

I understand where your coming from. maybe I'm not taking this break seriously or at least I wasn't until I had time to sit and think last night. Which is why I have not responded to her text yet. I mean as for the me telling her I loved her before we started dating, I did not do it. However, she did tell me she loved me multiple times before we even started dating. Once when she was drunk she called me and said it over and over and over lol. she called again the next day and I told her about it and she said well it's true. ...I agree with you on the ultimatum thing. I generally don't agree with them and would not like it if one were placed on me. In conclusion, I am starting to cool off, it just took a while. That is why I have yet to respond. I might respond to her tonight or maybe tomorrow, i'm not sure yet.

As to everyone else who replied, I am going to take your advice and I will get serious and slow down and give her the space she needs. Thank you all for your expert advice. I really do appreciate you all taking the time to read my posts and help me out!!!

[Jayburr]

Kyle,

Like others have said, it sounds like you haven't transitioned into the break stage yet. It's only been a week and you're telling her that you love her and miss her... That's fine and all to think that to yourself, but it's MUCH too soon to be saying it to her. She's going to feel like you don't understand what a break is and probably distance herself even more.

I don't agree with playing games with her, even IF she is doing that to you, I would really just start treating this like the break it's supposed to be. Don't talk to her like she's your girlfriend until she is ready. Also, no more stalking her Facebook page! :P ...seriously...quit it. lol