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She dumped me over skype...

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    #16
    Originally posted by KyleRivera View Post
    I just miss her so much! and hope she comes crawling back...I don't mean to sound cocky but I know for a fact that NOBODY can or will EVER treat her nearly as good as I treated her....she will realize it soon enough.
    Actually, that doesn't sound cocky, that sounds like emotional abuser language. You might be a really nice guy - I am going to assume you are! :-) - who just picked the wrong turn of phrase to express himself, but you might want to be conscious of and tone back the crazy, a little, there.

    Honestly, if she's over you, then there's nothing you can do to get her back - and honestly, why would you want to? Why would you want someone who looked at all you had to offer, all your history together, and went, "No thanks, I'd rather be alone."? You're better than that, and you deserve more. Breakups aren't a democracy, and that sucks a lot of the time, but it is sadly the truth. If one person decides it's over, then the other person doesn't get a vote. If she isn't over you, and for whatever reason is lying baldfaced about being so, then the best thing you can do is give her the space to miss you. Don't talk to her, don't let her talk to you if she makes contact - let her see what it's really like to not have you in her life, while you go about rebuilding your own life and identity as a single person without her. Bonus; independent, happy people are much more attractive than needy people who won't accept a breakup. If it's meant to be again, she will pursue you, and if it isn't, she'll be glad of the space/being absolved of feeling responsible for "being friends" to let you down gently.

    P.

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      #17
      Thank you all for your advice. I do apologize for the fact that some of you feel as if I was overly cocky. I have a tendency to not think much before I speak and being the fact that this was the day of the break up, there were a lot of emotions going on. It is now 4 days since she dumped me and I have slowly been getting better. I have been hanging out with my friends a lot to keep my mind off her. I still FB creep every now and then haha. I wouldn't doubt if she did to since she called me 7 hours after she dumped me to ask if we were still talking and to ask me what was up with my FB.

      I know I can move on and have ample opportunity to do so very quickly. However, I still do not want to see or talk to any other girls. I miss her more and more with each passing day. I know it may seem as if she didn't appreciate EVERYTHING I did but that isn't true at all. She showed appreciation for things I did for her all the time, she just had her own little quirky way of showing it. The last time I contacted her was the morning after she dumped me to wish her luck on her math finals. I did not expect a response and did not get one. I have talked to a mutual friend of ours and he says that he really doesn't think I should lose hope because he knows everything that went on and how well I treated her and how much I made her happy. He said she always had a hard time to realize the good things that she had and feels that she will realize sooner or later what she is missing out on.

      It still sickens me to think of her getting intimate with another man let alone kissing another man. I want her back so bad it's not funny. I miss her touch, her smell, her angelic voice, her thoughtfullness. I want to feel her hand in mine once more, feel her lips pressed against mine, and just be in her presence even from hundreds of miles away. I have gotten a lot of looks from other girls but I don't want any of them I just want her. :/

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        #18
        Originally posted by KyleRivera View Post
        Thank you all for your advice. I do apologize for the fact that some of you feel as if I was overly cocky. I have a tendency to not think much before I speak and being the fact that this was the day of the break up, there were a lot of emotions going on. It is now 4 days since she dumped me and I have slowly been getting better. I have been hanging out with my friends a lot to keep my mind off her. I still FB creep every now and then haha. I wouldn't doubt if she did to since she called me 7 hours after she dumped me to ask if we were still talking and to ask me what was up with my FB.

        I know I can move on and have ample opportunity to do so very quickly. However, I still do not want to see or talk to any other girls. I miss her more and more with each passing day. I know it may seem as if she didn't appreciate EVERYTHING I did but that isn't true at all. She showed appreciation for things I did for her all the time, she just had her own little quirky way of showing it. The last time I contacted her was the morning after she dumped me to wish her luck on her math finals. I did not expect a response and did not get one. I have talked to a mutual friend of ours and he says that he really doesn't think I should lose hope because he knows everything that went on and how well I treated her and how much I made her happy. He said she always had a hard time to realize the good things that she had and feels that she will realize sooner or later what she is missing out on.

        It still sickens me to think of her getting intimate with another man let alone kissing another man. I want her back so bad it's not funny. I miss her touch, her smell, her angelic voice, her thoughtfullness. I want to feel her hand in mine once more, feel her lips pressed against mine, and just be in her presence even from hundreds of miles away. I have gotten a lot of looks from other girls but I don't want any of them I just want her. :/
        You sound exactly like my ex now and we had a relationship of 6 years. He doesnt give me the space i need and its hard. I dont wanna make comparisons or something but i just want to let you know how it probably feels for her. The more he keeps sticking on me and not giving me any space the more i want to stop communicate with him.

        Just leave her alone for now and focus a bit on yourself make sure u have a great time. Give her a chance to at least miss what you and what you two had. Maybe she will indeed realize that she was happier with you. I know this will sound cheesy but sometimes if you love someone you have to let them go, but it is actually true. You are not the only one who has to deal with a break up. I bet she has a hard time as well. I mean you two were together for 7 months she wont just get over it in 1 day. If you two are truly ment to be together you two will get together. I think someone posted that before as well.
        I hope everything turns out to be okay.
        Take Care.

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by KyleRivera View Post
          hope she comes crawling back...I don't mean to sound cocky but I know for a fact that NOBODY can or will EVER treat her nearly as good as I treated her....she will realize it soon enough.
          You sound exactly like my ex-boyfriend. The one that physically and emotionally abused me. I went BACK to him TWICE after I'd had the courage to actually break up with him because he made me feel like nobody else would ever want me and he was the best I could ever get. For the sake of your ex PLEASE don't talk to her! When my ex would talk to me he'd always seem apologetic and say that he was changing for me but when I refused he'd get angry and start hitting things (including me). Honestly if you were ANYTHING like he was in the relationship (emotionally anyways) then I doubt you will ever get back together. I HOPE you don't get back together, and you would need to do some serious self-work.


          Originally posted by KyleRivera View Post
          It still sickens me to think of her getting intimate with another man let alone kissing another man. I want her back so bad it's not funny. I miss her touch, her smell, her angelic voice, her thoughtfullness. I want to feel her hand in mine once more, feel her lips pressed against mine, and just be in her presence even from hundreds of miles away. I have gotten a lot of looks from other girls but I don't want any of them I just want her. :/
          This makes you sound like a stalker. And STOP Facebook creeping her! My ex would do that and show up where I was! He stalked me for months (which I really don't understand since he cheated on me)! Just cut all contact please :/
          Last edited by TerriW312; August 10, 2012, 10:51 AM.

          Comment


            #20
            I would like to jump in for Kyle here.
            He sounds a little cocky but it doesn't mean he is abusive and controlling.
            A friend of mine just got dumped after a six year relationship. They lived together. Everything went well. They never argued. They were great together. He was the love of her life but he was internally conflicted. She wasnt what he wanted. He never mentioned it to her because he didn't want her to change for him. So he finished it and it came like a shock for her. She lost the man she was going to marry. She thought they were made for each other.
            So after the first shock and grief she was really angry and we heard things from her like "he won't find another woman who is as tolerant as I was".
            Yes it's cocky but it's understandable for someone who's world has just been shattered and who's trying to make sense of what has gone wrong because there wasn't anything wrong.

            Having said that, Kyle that doesn't mean I agree with you on everything. Honestly, stop contacting her and all that and move on with your life. Sometimes it's hard to understand why but she has her reasons even though you and your friends don't understand them. It's time to let go as hard as it sounds. Do yourself a favor and move on without clinging onto the hope shell come back. We all do that but in most cases it won't happen

            Comment


              #21
              Originally posted by KyleRivera View Post
              Thank you all for your advice. I do apologize for the fact that some of you feel as if I was overly cocky. I have a tendency to not think much before I speak and being the fact that this was the day of the break up, there were a lot of emotions going on. It is now 4 days since she dumped me and I have slowly been getting better. I have been hanging out with my friends a lot to keep my mind off her. I still FB creep every now and then haha. I wouldn't doubt if she did to since she called me 7 hours after she dumped me to ask if we were still talking and to ask me what was up with my FB.

              I know I can move on and have ample opportunity to do so very quickly. However, I still do not want to see or talk to any other girls. I miss her more and more with each passing day. I know it may seem as if she didn't appreciate EVERYTHING I did but that isn't true at all. She showed appreciation for things I did for her all the time, she just had her own little quirky way of showing it. The last time I contacted her was the morning after she dumped me to wish her luck on her math finals. I did not expect a response and did not get one. I have talked to a mutual friend of ours and he says that he really doesn't think I should lose hope because he knows everything that went on and how well I treated her and how much I made her happy. He said she always had a hard time to realize the good things that she had and feels that she will realize sooner or later what she is missing out on.

              It still sickens me to think of her getting intimate with another man let alone kissing another man. I want her back so bad it's not funny. I miss her touch, her smell, her angelic voice, her thoughtfullness. I want to feel her hand in mine once more, feel her lips pressed against mine, and just be in her presence even from hundreds of miles away. I have gotten a lot of looks from other girls but I don't want any of them I just want her. :/
              Glad to hear you're feeling better Kyle. Keep doing what you're doing to stay distracted and busy. Try your best to avoid going on her FB page...it really isn't helping you get over her. It's kind of like a reset button on this whole situation every time you do that. All the emotions and thoughts that have finally started to fade away from your mind are gradually re-inserted every time you think to go to her FB, call her, text her, etc...

              Speaking of calling, you mentioned that she called you wondering if you were still going to be talking. What did you say to her? I ask, because right away this sounded like something my ex did, and really, her only reason for still wanting to talk to me, was so that she could in a way, still have me, without being with me. She basically lead me on, making me think we would probably get back together when really, there was no chance of that. When I realized it, I started to make it obvious to her that I didn't care to talk to her much anymore, then she started trying to make me jealous by telling me how many guys she has trying to get at her. I told her "they must not be very smart," she asked "why is that?" (she truly didn't realize I just zinged her there...lol), I said "well if they're trying to get with you, they must not be very smart," then she hung up on me, lol.

              Anyway, her intentions might be different, but just be careful. Don't invest too much into it.
              First met online: October 15th, 2011
              First met in-person: July 13th, 2012

              Next meeting: September 21st, 2012

              Comment


                #22
                Originally posted by Zapookie View Post
                I think there was more to this that you chose not to tell us.

                I'm actually not surprised that she broke up with you with that attitude - "I'm the best thing since sliced bread and you'd better know it". Girls aren't attracted to that. Sorry to be blunt.

                ditto to that :/ my ex said(and from what i understand still does) and he;s an asshole, i cut all contact from my ex and we dated for 7 years and despite him being an asshole it was hard not to contact him due to the history we had but i had Denise to help me and everything was fine after a few weeks, is there more your not telling us because i get the feeling there is.

                Comment


                  #23
                  TerriW312,

                  All I have to say to your response is you have no right to make such incorrect accusations that I am abusive. I am, in fact, the complete opposite of that and have no need to go into the detail of how I am not that type of person to give you any type of pleasure. Thanks for your uhhhh..."well thought out" response

                  Kiyama,

                  Thank you for sticking up for me to TerriW312's terrible response. It is very much appreciated.

                  To everyone else,

                  I know you all think that I am leaving something else but I have indeed told you everything that has transpired throughout the whole relationship.

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Kyle,

                    If you're not that type of person than I'd like to apologize. And you not being that type of person gives me more pleasure than you being one trust me. I may just be overly sensitive to some of the warning signs and I probably tend to make to make something out of nothing because of my experiences. If you're not that type of person than I am so so sorry for bringing that up Truly. I'd hate if someone accused me of that.

                    Comment


                      #25
                      TerriW312,

                      I accept your apology. I can understand why you would feel that way. It is hard to not link certain actions to those of past relations especially if they were negative. I am honestly a very loving and caring person. I have just never felt for someone so deeply for then to turn around and leave me. It makes me feel like a large part of my being has gone missing

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