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    #1

    too overly sensitive??

    Hi! I used to post back on the old forums and I decided to write a post again =]

    So basically my SO and three of his buddies were planning to move into an apartment in early fall. I was part of these arrangements, until one of his buddies spoke up and said he was uncomfortable with me staying there. Which I understand and totally get...my boyfriend fought for me to a point but now officially I am out of the moving plans.

    I know that its not personal, but I just let myself get to excited at first and now that we wont be living together for another 6 months to a year it just saddens me. I hate admiting it but sometimes the feeling of rejection comes on strong even though I know it wasnt meant to be that way. And I also am beginning to feel that slight routine thing where it gets a little dull...and that just scares me because I dont want to get into a boring rut...

    Am I too sensitive? lol
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    #2
    I would be pretty pissed about that if I was originally part of the plans. I don't think you're too sensitive at all.

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      #3
      I would be pretty damn disappointed too. Since you thought that you would finally move in with him and now that won't happen.

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        #4
        I'd be throwing a fit any 5 year old would envy over that.

        Exactly what was this friend's reason? Was it the usual junk about being weirded out by intimacy in the house? It's a perfectly good reason, but that shouldn't mean you can't live with him. Just a matter of taking them into consideration at those points.

        I know a lot of people say putting your SO above your friends is stupid, but in that situation I think the friend could've sucked it up. It's hard being in an LDR, you should get the chance to be with him and, yes, live with him when you want to, not when it's convenient for a third party.

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          #5
          I think you have the right to be disappointed. I know I would be too. You were part of the original plan and it just seems unfair that they decided to go without you. What is your bf's friend's reasoning for that?

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            #6
            I agree with everyone who posted already. I know I would be extremely sad and disappointed, and probably pissed too.
            Why did that friends not want you to move in anymore? Also, since you already made those plans I think it's a little unfair he didn't bring it up earlier.

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              #7
              I remember you!
              I'd be more than pissed, I'd be saying all kinds of things about loyalty and stuff >.>
              I'm wondering if the mate isn't just a bit immature... plenty of couples live with other friends until they get on their feet.. what happens when he wants a lady friend to move in eh?
              No, you're not oversensitive
              Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by Yin Yang View Post
                I think you have the right to be disappointed. I know I would be too. You were part of the original plan and it just seems unfair that they decided to go without you. What is your bf's friend's reasoning for that?
                Well according to his friends, one of them said they want "support from their parents in the choices they make", which idk what that has to do with me. Once you're an adult and move out you shouldnt be afraid of your parents in that regard, just cus your friends girlfriend is moving in. They argued that with all our cars where are we gonna park? Which is a ******ed excuse. And i guess my bf just dosnt want any tension and one of his friends made it clear he would not move in if i did. Which hurt me more than im willing to admit to anyone.

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                  #9
                  Originally posted by stacyrose View Post
                  Well according to his friends, one of them said they want "support from their parents in the choices they make", which idk what that has to do with me. Once you're an adult and move out you shouldnt be afraid of your parents in that regard, just cus your friends girlfriend is moving in.
                  That excuse sounds ridiculous to me quite honestly. You living with your boyfriend has NOTHING to do with his parents, and if they can't handle it, then he should find somewhere else to live. If your friend was as immature to threaten to not move in over something like that, then they should have told him not to. Are his parents paying for his rent? It is not like the rent will cost any more if he doesn't live there because you would be paying rent as well.

                  I would be upset if I were you, and I would probably tell your bf to talk to your friend about it. Is the friend going to be uncomfortable with any girls spending the night? Because that is basically the same thing imo.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Bluestars View Post
                    That excuse sounds ridiculous to me quite honestly. You living with your boyfriend has NOTHING to do with his parents, and if they can't handle it, then he should find somewhere else to live. If your friend was as immature to threaten to not move in over something like that, then they should have told him not to. Are his parents paying for his rent? It is not like the rent will cost any more if he doesn't live there because you would be paying rent as well.

                    I would be upset if I were you, and I would probably tell your bf to talk to your friend about it. Is the friend going to be uncomfortable with any girls spending the night? Because that is basically the same thing imo.
                    Thats the thing too, he plans on having me over all the time and sleeping over, but its "not the same as living together". They are all christian boys and I think all their families are strict to that effect...but I'm christian too. I wasn't going to plan to be all over them in front of everyone, intimacy in front of them wouldn't have been a problem. My boyfriend said he could just go find a place for the two of us to live but he cant afford it because its true I couldn't be much help until I got a job. Another thing too is I think he WANTS to be on his own and have a pad with his boys without me...even tho he still loves me. Which is a guy thing and I understand. But he says I should be grateful that I have a place to stay (with my aunt) and that he's getting his own place even tho I'm not living there. I just can't help but feel I'm getting the short end of the stick and I'm sacrificing alot for him...

                    Comment

                      #11
                      That makes sense, I know Obi was a bit bummbed at first when I asked for us to live alone without his mates - they planned to move out together most of their lives after all. But luckily he doesn't seem to have regrets now.

                      Part of it could just be that it is a really big step too... but I don't blame you at all for feeling jipped.
                      Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

                      Comment

                        #12
                        You are sacrificing a lot for him. You guys' relationship is long distance. I would understand why he'd want to be on his own for a bit if it was a CDR. I think many SOs would kill to have the opportunity that he has to live/be with his girlfriend.

                        And as Bluestars said above; What happens when his friends decide to bring other girls to spend the night? I'm thinking your boyfriend would have the right to complain and so would you. Another thing, how would it not be the same as staying/sleeping over? His friend's excuses seem ridiculous and without any sense.

                        Could it be 'cause he doesn't like you or something? Have you ever spent time with them (his friends) before?

                        Comment

                          #13
                          Originally posted by Yei&Jon View Post
                          You are sacrificing a lot for him. You guys' relationship is long distance. I would understand why he'd want to be on his own for a bit if it was a CDR. I think many SOs would kill to have the opportunity that he has to live/be with his girlfriend.

                          And as Bluestars said above; What happens when his friends decide to bring other girls to spend the night? I'm thinking your boyfriend would have the right to complain and so would you. Another thing, how would it not be the same as staying/sleeping over? His friend's excuses seem ridiculous and without any sense.

                          Could it be 'cause he doesn't like you or something? Have you ever spent time with them (his friends) before?
                          There is only one friend that is moving in that I haven't met before, and he was the one who threatened to move out. I have met and hung out with the rest of them and they all like me, which is why it kinda hurt when they said they'd be uncomfortable, especially my SO's best friend Eric, who eventually admitted he wasnt comfortable with it either.

                          Comment

                            #14
                            I suspect it's because they want a bloke's flat and its nothing personal, besides the fact you're a girl.

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                              #15
                              Thats really all it is, I'm just getting all hurt feelings by it, which i shouldnt lol

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