I have realized my mistakes

[Rugger]

Guys, I think we should give Kyle a break.

Sure, he hasn't exactly shown us the model behaviour of a boyfriend on break, but he was just dumped and was/is in love, so we should respect that and let him be a little bit unreasonable/illogical after a breakup. So calling him a stalker/creepy/whatever isn't going to help him.

Doesn't mean I agree 100% with your actions, but I know how it's like to be dumped (:

Except if he doesn't leave her alone, she's going to file charges. He IS being creepy and acting like a stalker. She dumped him for not giving her space and he's still not giving her space.

Dude, I'm glad you found your realization but for your own sanity, LEAVE HER ALONE. She broke up with you because you were being overbearing. You're still doing it. If I were her and you contacted me again and again, I'd filed charges for harassment. That shit follows you all your life

If you have to write a letter to her, write it and then burn it. Do not send it

[Caitlin2009]

Guys, I think we should give Kyle a break.

Sure, he hasn't exactly shown us the model behaviour of a boyfriend on break, but he was just dumped and was/is in love, so we should respect that and let him be a little bit unreasonable/illogical after a breakup. So calling him a stalker/creepy/whatever isn't going to help him.

Doesn't mean I agree 100% with your actions, but I know how it's like to be dumped (:

well im afraid thats what he's being....he refuses to leave her alone and will continue to try to have a relationship with her even though he knows darn well that its dead in the water and never gonna happen, but still he continues :/ so to me thats being clingy, stalker, creepy type behavior. If this was some random guy doing the same things to a girl he would be arrested on the spot. I can understand being unreasable to the point where you break down crying anytime someone says you'll never get back together with that person even though you swear up and down you will no matter what they say, but he's going a little far with that, its just weird

Except if he doesn't leave her alone, she's going to file charges. He IS being creepy and acting like a stalker. She dumped him for not giving her space and he's still not giving her space.

Dude, I'm glad you found your realization but for your own sanity, LEAVE HER ALONE. She broke up with you because you were being overbearing. You're still doing it. If I were her and you contacted me again and again, I'd filed charges for harassment. That shit follows you all your life

If you have to write a letter to her, write it and then burn it. Do not send it

big amen to that!

[tanaquil]

I agree that he wasn't being great at all, I just think calling someone a stalker/creep/weirdo and going 'RUN RUN FAR AWAYY!!!' is a bit immature.

On another note, though: Kyle, I've read through your threads and you need to stop overanalysing everything -- and this is coming from someone who overanalyses! You worrying about how your girlfriend didn't say she loves you in one conversation? My boyfriend and I don't say we love each other for days at a time, and everything's okay! Bad example, but you have to stop trying to come up with reasons for everything. What good is that going to do? Is it really going to give you peace of mind?

Perhaps this stems from some kind of self-esteem issue, like it does with me?

And writing letters is cathartic, but DON'T send them!

It takes a while to get over someone but, really, I think maybe this break up is for the better. Try doing other things. Maybe help other people with THEIR problems? In this forum, maybe? I've only seen you start topics about yourself, as opposed to helping others. Making others happy, or at least trying to, is a good way to start feeling better about yourself.

[Jayburr]

Just want to make a general comment on some other replies here, lets try not to make accusatory posts toward Kyle. Harsh truths are sometimes needed but there are better ways to word the truth so as not to make the person feel cornered. Whether someone is in the right or wrong doesn't really matter, keep the posts helpful. I know I'm a noobie and I have no right to lay down a law of the board but honestly reading some of the posts here would have driven me away for good.

Moving on...

On another note, though: Kyle, I've read through your threads and you need to stop overanalysing everything

I agree.

Kyle, I think we all realize you don't want to give up, and that you want to fix things, make everything right, etc... However, it's important to be aware of the fact that, because someone you cared about very much isn't with you anymore, the emotional loss and shock of that can cause you to over-analyze the situation, which will cause you to think and believe things that may not be true. And honestly, in the wake of break up, anyone can become borderline obsessive and even psychotic from it. I don't think you are being that, but again, it's important to be aware of the fact that your mind at any point can be playing tricks on you. It may seem like you're thinking logically and have every detail worked out, but really, in a way, you could be drunk, and what's the best thing to do when you're drunk? Nothing. Stay put and let your mind and body reset. That's exactly what I think you need to do. It's great you wrote the letter, it helps to put your thoughts on paper and get them out of your mind, but personally, I would not send it.

It takes a while to get over someone but, really, I think maybe this break up is for the better. Try doing other things. Maybe help other people with THEIR problems? In this forum, maybe? I've only seen you start topics about yourself, as opposed to helping others. Making others happy, or at least trying to, is a good way to start feeling better about yourself.

Good advice. Helping others here, I think, has helped me figure out my own situations as well.

[Caitlin2009]

I agree that he wasn't being great at all, I just think calling someone a stalker/creep/weirdo and going 'RUN RUN FAR AWAYY!!!' is a bit immature.

On another note, though: Kyle, I've read through your threads and you need to stop overanalysing everything -- and this is coming from someone who overanalyses! You worrying about how your girlfriend didn't say she loves you in one conversation? My boyfriend and I don't say we love each other for days at a time, and everything's okay! Bad example, but you have to stop trying to come up with reasons for everything. What good is that going to do? Is it really going to give you peace of mind?

Perhaps this stems from some kind of self-esteem issue, like it does with me?

And writing letters is cathartic, but DON'T send them!

It takes a while to get over someone but, really, I think maybe this break up is for the better. Try doing other things. Maybe help other people with THEIR problems? In this forum, maybe? I've only seen you start topics about yourself, as opposed to helping others. Making others happy, or at least trying to, is a good way to start feeling better about yourself.

just calling it as i see it

[Malaga]

Kyle,

The problem with this letter is that even if it somehow gets you back together, it's not going to solve the problems you identified. You're still going to be insecure, clingy and smothering. Just because you know you are that way, doesn't mean you'll be able to stop it, trust me. Your insecurities didn't appear when you got in a relationship, they just got more pronounced. If you want to get rid of them, you need to work on yourself. Not on the relationship which already failed, but on yourself. Otherwise the cycle is just going to keep repeating, whether with this girl or someone else. And in every cycle it's going to get worse for you both.

If you send that letter or try to call, you're going to put yourself in a humiliating and painful situation of being feared, hated or pitied by someone you care about. You will wreck all the good feelings she has left for you. Leave it be Kyle, turn to yourself and accept this was something to learn from.

Good luck xx

[dorabase93]

Kyle,

I can understand how you feel right now and I hope you can get over it soon. I myself used to be insecure and clingy like that to my ex-CD-SO (and my first relationship). I was a creepy, smothering guy when she broke up with me when she broke up after cheating on me ( I even knew it before the break up). I stalked her fb, text her everyday and sometimes walked by her house just to see her. But, as they say, time healed me and I realised I was a joke I could see the problems between us but at that time the only thing in my mind was getting back with her. Apparently, I failed.
The thing is, going back might not the best idea right now when you still can't solve the problems you said. and I expect, it's gonna be quite the same. you gotta fix yourself first before fixing the relationship. why don't you go out with some friends, have some fun with them (NOT talking about your relationship), have a hobby or relive a lost one. I made a lot of papercrafts and get back to my dear guitar after leaving it in the corner for a while as she's not with you right now, why don't you try to find some fun without her for a while, if she gets back with you somehow later, or maybe in a new relationship, your SO needs some space, you won't be the same clingy guy like before
and I'll make it short, no letter for her. Take care