My ex is being such a jerk...yesterday was my birthday and he didn't even have the decency to acknowledge it. His family did, they sent me messages and wrote on my Fb wall wishing me a happy birthday...he was online and never said a word to me. He's just been such a jerk lately. Thought he could at least be nice and be a friend, that's what we wanted. But I guess not. Whatever. It probably isn't a total bad thing - I would've panicked if he had tried to talk to me. Idk I just don't know how to feel...I'm angry and hurt, but kinda happy at the same time...ugh I just hate this.
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I agree with everyone above. But I understand where you're coming from. When my boyfriend and I broke up a year ago, it felt very weird that we just stopped talking, even if it didn't make sense to continue talking. I didn't have the closure I needed when we broke up (over the phone because he was in the US at the time). But a month later when he came back, we had a long talk (in person) and it finalized things. I no longer felt like we needed to talk like we used to, and I moved on (kind of - we fixed things and got back together a few months later). It'll take a bit to get used to, but you'll find that eventually you won't need his attention anymore.
I kind of rambled. I hope that made sense!started dating: 12/08/12
"i love you": 04/12/13
el paso: 07/24/13 - 08/05/13
montreal: 12/13/13 - 01/03/14
el paso: 01/05/14 - 01/19/14
montreal: 05/30/14 - 07/27/14
el paso: 07/27/14 - 08/18/14
el paso: 12/27/14 - 01/16/15
el paso: 06/02/15 - 08/17/15
san antonio: 02/04/16 - 02/08/16
san antonio/el paso: 06/03/16 - 06/21/16
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I broke up with my ex a long time ago, but for whatever reason, she keeps trying to get in contact with me again but I keep ignoring her. I really have no desire to talk to her, to catch up or do anything.
Just this last June when my birthday came around, she sent me a text wishing me a happy birthday the day before, annnd I ignored it, like everything else. When I went to see my SO for the first time, she actually called WHILE I was there and left me a message. I never called her back.
Moral of my story is, she's an ex for a reason, and we spent 2 years constantly being on and off, and finally, I was just completely done with her. I didn't want to hear from her, didn't want talk and didn't want to see her. Now that I've met my SO, I feel even stronger about keeping my ex out of my life.
Not to sound too harsh, but, your ex is an ex for a reason too, and maybe he is completely done as well. Perhaps for him, wishing you a happy birthday is a way of potentially re-igniting a flame that he doesn't wish to ignite, and so, he stays quiet.Last edited by Jayburr; August 28, 2012, 06:38 PM.First met online: October 15th, 2011
First met in-person: July 13th, 2012
Next meeting: September 21st, 2012
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Originally posted by Moon View PostYeah, that whole "We'll be friends" stuff? It almost never works. Best to just move on....
As always, I agree with Moon. Listen to her. She knows what she is talking about!"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love " ~ Theodore Seuss Geisel.
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An ex is an ex for a reason.Made it official: 12-01-10
First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
Closed the distance: 07-31-13
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It was my ex-husbands birthday earlier this month. I debated for days whether or not to wish him a happy birthday. But I decided that he's made it pretty clear he wants nothing to do with me do I let it be. And it hurt. But sometimes you have to just let go.
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It can work to be friends with your ex. But only if there aren't feelings involved anymore and if you broke up in a peaceful manner. That's just my experience. You seem still very attached so if you really wanna try the friendship route, it has to wait until you have both moved on. And if you then still feel like you want to be friends, get in touch again.
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From a guy's perspective:
I didn't say Happy Birthday to my ex last year. We broke up in August, were still talking until around October, and her birthday was in November. I thought about sending a card, just to let her know I really wasn't hung up on her, even though I was, but I decided against it.
Because I wanted to give her the space she obviously needed. She didn't need a reminder of the past three years on her day. I figured there would be other times to talk. And there have been. We're slowly beginning to communicate again, and there's no animosity. If you're meant to remain friends, you will.You have to trust in that.Last edited by dappergq; August 28, 2012, 11:29 PM.
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Yeah I guess y'all are right...he isn't completely done though...he can't be. He told me he's not (we talked about it earlier this month), that he still loves me, that he still wants us to continue together someday but that the distance makes it too hard right now. It's not like we broke up 'cause we weren't working as a couple (though I can see areas where we weren't), it was the distance taking a toll on him. We weren't supposed to be exes who ignore each other...we agreed to still talk and everything...and now he's completely going back on that and it just hurts...like all the sudden I mean nothing to him when just a few weeks ago we agreed we still love each other very much. It's just all confusing me and I hate it...just wish I could forget everything.
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Originally posted by staystrong12 View PostYeah I guess y'all are right...he isn't completely done though...he can't be. He told me he's not (we talked about it earlier this month), that he still loves me, that he still wants us to continue together someday but that the distance makes it too hard right now. It's not like we broke up 'cause we weren't working as a couple (though I can see areas where we weren't), it was the distance taking a toll on him. We weren't supposed to be exes who ignore each other...we agreed to still talk and everything...and now he's completely going back on that and it just hurts...like all the sudden I mean nothing to him when just a few weeks ago we agreed we still love each other very much. It's just all confusing me and I hate it...just wish I could forget everything.
.he isn't completely done though...he can't be. He told me he's not (we talked about it earlier this month), that he still loves me, that he still wants us to continue together
I am sorry, but if this were true, and he really thought you weren't completely done, he WOULD HAVE acknowledged your birthday in some small way, a text, a FB message, whatever. A guy who's planning on getting back together at some point would have made sure of it.
I know it hurts and I know you love him, but you have to face reality here, it's over. He said those things because it was easier than the truth, people do that all of the time. Listen, I know you're not going to believe any of this, it's obvious from your other posts, but just keep the possibility in mind, it'll help you in the coming months. Take care.Our separation of each other is an optical illusion of consciousness. ~Albert Einstein
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Ditto to this!
Originally posted by Moon View PostSweetheart, since you seem to be a bit in denial here, I'll try to spell it out bluntly.
.he isn't completely done though...he can't be. He told me he's not (we talked about it earlier this month), that he still loves me, that he still wants us to continue together
I am sorry, but if this were true, and he really thought you weren't completely done, he WOULD HAVE acknowledged your birthday in some small way, a text, a FB message, whatever. A guy who's planning on getting back together at some point would have made sure of it.
I know it hurts and I know you love him, but you have to face reality here, it's over. He said those things because it was easier than the truth, people do that all of the time. Listen, I know you're not going to believe any of this, it's obvious from your other posts, but just keep the possibility in mind, it'll help you in the coming months. Take care.
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