I don't get this

[Black_Halloween]

It seems like every time I tell somebody that i'm saving up money for Daniel to come up to visit, I get a snaky "well the man should pay for it" attitude. I don't understand why just because i'm a woman that I can't pay for things? I recently got on unemployment (not proud of it, but at least i have it until i can find a steady job) and thats how im able to save a little more now. He would buy me the moon if he could but he just can't afford it with SATs coming up, college applications (applying to colleges were im applying), ectect. Any extra money he makes goes to that. He's been trying so hard to find a job (he lives in the middle of nowhere Arkansas) and no such luck.

Why do people have no problem with the guy paying for everything but not the woman? Isn't that a tad sexist? Ladies, have you ever paid for your man and gotten odd looks?

[Eleven]

Me and my gf agree that we'll help each other on everything.
Well about that we guys wants to pay first,
its just being a Gentleman.

but nowadays, the new generation, both are sharing.

[kittyo9]

"Traditional" values. Some consider it "chivalry" and "gentlemanly," and seeing a woman break these former "norms" is very startling to some. It's your money, do what you want.

[XxFranticLovexX]

I completely understand what you mean. No one seems to understand why I made the first visit trip, why I paid for it, or why I buy things for him but he doesn't buy things. The thing is, I had a way to pay for it and he didn't. Simple as that. I have the money and want to get something for him, then I will.. if he agrees, since he doesn't like for people to buy him things often and prefers if I don't spend my money on him. He doesn't have the money and I don't ask for anything that he can't give. He would prefer if he could pay for things himself but that just isn't a possibility right now. I don't care about the money, that's not what the relationship is about, I care about him. What's in his wallet is amongst the least of my cares when it comes to being with him.

[Black_Halloween]

I completely understand what you mean. No one seems to understand why I made the first visit trip, why I paid for it, or why I buy things for him but he doesn't buy things. The thing is, I had a way to pay for it and he didn't. Simple as that. I have the money and want to get something for him, then I will.. if he agrees, since he doesn't like for people to buy him things often and prefers if I don't spend my money on him. He doesn't have the money and I don't ask for anything that he can't give. He would prefer if he could pay for things himself but that just isn't a possibility right now. I don't care about the money, that's not what the relationship is about, I care about him. What's in his wallet is amongst the least of my cares when it comes to being with him.

That's exactly how I feel, thank you for this. It made me feel better. <3

[Romeo s Juliet]

It is really sad that people think only the guy should pay for everything when the 2 people are in a relationship. and yes like you said people are stupid if they think so, and it is a a tad bit sexist.
I dont really believe that the guy should pay for everything, and saving up for your boyfriend, so that he can afford the ticket to see you is a real adorable thing when i go to see my SO, i pay the bill for both of us, and i never expect him to pay for me always. Whenever i can i pay the bills, and when he can he pays the bills.

[Romeo s Juliet]

I completely understand what you mean. No one seems to understand why I made the first visit trip, why I paid for it, or why I buy things for him but he doesn't buy things. The thing is, I had a way to pay for it and he didn't. Simple as that. I have the money and want to get something for him, then I will.. if he agrees, since he doesn't like for people to buy him things often and prefers if I don't spend my money on him. He doesn't have the money and I don't ask for anything that he can't give. He would prefer if he could pay for things himself but that just isn't a possibility right now. I don't care about the money, that's not what the relationship is about, I care about him. What's in his wallet is amongst the least of my cares when it comes to being with him.

exactly that is how i feel too

[hans]

I think also this is a geographical cultural thing. Maybe in North/South America it's more common that guys are paying all the time. Not so much so in North Europe.

[Sabbi696]

Me and my SO are both paying for the first trip for me to go see him. If i could pay the whole thing i would. But i agree with..why cant the girl pay? It takes 2 people to be in the relationship..so the 2 people should be willing to do things to make it work.

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I paid the full amount for the first trip to see my SO as well as the accommodation. He paid most of the trip to see me. Being a student he has less disposable income than I do. I don't have a lot of disposable income either but rather than go out or buy takeout lunches I save my money and put it toward visits.

[D.4C]

if it's ok with you...and ok with him...that's all that matters...don't care so much about what others think...do what's right for you...him..and your relationship...if it makes you happy...do it

[Courtney:)]

It doesn't matter what other people think. If that's what you two agreed on, that's fine. When my boyfriend visited, he paid for his plane ticket, and I payed for all of our dates and anything extra we needed. We pretty much split the cost. It worked well for us, so if it would work well for you, by all means, go for it.

[heathergro]

I get this a LOT and it drives me crazy. It's a major hassle for my SO to get time off to come visit because his boss always freaks out on him when he submits time off requests (even if it's only for a day), especially during the summer when it's tourist season in his hometown. It's not as bad for me to request time off and I have a little bit more flexibility in traveling as well because I earn more than he does. Also, when we first started dating, his car was on its last legs, so driving 8 hours up and back was out of the question. People try to make it out to be a me vs. him thing without understanding the circumstances and I don't see the point. None of it matters to me as long as we're able to see each other.

[pretty ll vacant]

This is just an "old school" traditionalist mindset.
I think it's perfectly fine for the woman to pay for things. I love being a woman with money lol.
This past weekend when I was with my bf it was his birthday so I paid for countless things, just because I wanted to make things so special for him. I wouldn't hesitate to treat him any other time either.
I also think you shouldn't really care what other people think or have to say, because that shouldn't matter when it comes to the two of you.