I posted here about a week ago about a problem I was having with my SO just days into us closing the distance. We've been together 3 and a half years. He moved here just two weeks ago and now its over! I feel like a part of me is dying and like my insides are numb. I can't cry anymore. This may be a long post, but I would appreciate any advice, please.To quickly recap the issue: I found out that my SO was talking (inappropriately) to his ex on Facebook (asking her to come over, asking her for pictures, etc). I found this out after snooping in his FB which he left open on my phone; the reason I snooped to begin with was because he disregarded opening a message from her while I was sitting next to him and that just made me raise an eyebrow. I confronted him about it and he said nothing happened and that I could check all of his messages and see that he has nothing to hide. I thought I could move past it, but I just couldn't. I thought that was bad, but it gets worse.
Once again a few days later, he left FB open on my phone. He was asleep and I decided to go through his messages, and I'm glad I did. I discovered, he wasn't just talking inappropriately to his ex, but to other women as well! Women he knows (coworkers, friends) and women he doesn't know (random women who he friended and friended him on FB). The nature of many of the covos were him telling them that they're beautiful, writing them poetry, asking them to send him pictures of themselves, etc. All this was absolutely nauseating. I couldn't believe he would do this! When I confronted him about it, I just started to cry. I told him to be completely honest with me and if he has anything to tell me. He confessed that he met a woman at a bar and kissed her and that he when on another date with her and kissed her again. And that things didn't continue because she also had a boyfriend. He told me he didn't sleep with her. I asked for her name and he told me her name but said that she is not on Facebook. Which only led me to think what else has occured beyond what I've seen him do on Facebook. I told him to show me all the messages because I want to point out a few to him so that he can explain some things or that he can leave. He said he'll show me the messages and that afterwards he'll leave. We only got through two messages until he got so upset that he started packing all of his things. I left the room while he packed and later saw him walk out the door with his luggage.
I just cried. When I looked through the peephole at the door, he was standing there, I opened the door and he just started to cry. He was crying harder than I was. He said that he cannot ask for forgiveness because what he did was terrible and that he's a bad person. That I didn't deserve that. That I'm the right person for him but that he's not sure if he's the right person for me. That he's embarrassed about what he did. He told me that maybe we need a few days distance so we can reflect. But it was pouring rain outside so he stayed that night and for a few days after until the weekend came. Before the weekend came, I told him I can forgive him but I cannot forget, that I can't do this relationship anymore,that I no longer trust him. He cried so terribly hard and told me that I must give him another chance. That he can change, but to give him the opportunity to prove it. He said he knows he messed up big time but that doesn't want to lose me, that he loves me. That he moved here only to be with me. I told him lets use that time apart to see how I feel. So he went to his Aunt's house Friday who lives about 2 1/2 hours away by metro. Every time I would think of us, I just feel that I need to let this go, but then again I don't. The more I think about it the more pain I feel. To think that all of our efforts to be together were in vain, that our love would end so tragically, to think that I have to move back home after two weeks is terrible. And for my mother to say "I told you so" will be painful and our relationship is already damaged because she's upset that I moved out to begin with. I didn't want to deal with the pain of thinking about it any further, so I couldn't wait until the weekend was over and called my SO and told him it's over. He begged me to forgive him, but that he can feel my decision is already made. He said he couldn't believe I made my decision so quickly. He cried so terribly; I could hear the hurt in his voice, in his cries. He said he deserves this and that he'll pay for what he's done, that he's already paying. I won't ever forget his cries, so sorrowful. He's supposed to pick up his things tomorrow from our apartment. The arrangement was for me not to be there when he arrives.
I've only told two of my friends and they cannot believe it. They said they really liked him and they can tell that he loves me. Aside from everything that's happened, I know he loves me. I don't know what happened that made him forget his love for me from time to time that he's hurt me so much. Even my friend's mother said that I should give him another chance, that we shouldn't live together and that we should start our relationship from scratch. I don't know what to do. I don't want to let him go. I love him deeply. But I cannot get past what he's done. I know in the end, only I know what I should do, but hearing others opinions might help. So please help :'(
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