Some good news, at last.

[churchgrim]

The tickets are booked. He's finally coming.

He'll be here in November for a month. It will be our first time meeting in person. I cried when I first found out, but it hasn't really hit me yet. I'm just so, so relieved.

Aside from the obvious nerves about meeting, I'm worried about me having to work. My bosses are pretty cool, so I'm taking off a week and half when he first gets here, and the last week off before he leaves (plus a few days for me to adjust to being alone again and mope). What have you done about work for month long visits? I can't take any more time off, but I don't want to leave him alone all week with nothing to do but wait for me to come home either.

[Zapookie]

Congrats to you It still probably won't feel as real even while you're together.

You know what, I would probably make sure you're working right after he leaves instead of taking those days off. Being at work will distract you from missing him and feeling the loneliness rather than sitting at home moping around.

[redapple]

Ditto to above, I'd swap those days for days when he's with you. I'd rather have a couple of days of quality time rather than be sat on my own.

Also can he explore where you live while you're at work? Give him like a treasure trail list of places to go?

[notyourexgirlfriend]

I still vividly remember the nervous excitement I had when I booked my tickets to see my SO for the very first time. Though I wasn't as lucky as you to be able to spend a month with him. I had 6 days. Still worth it.

[D.4C]

Congrats to you It still probably won't feel as real even while you're together.

You know what, I would probably make sure you're working right after he leaves instead of taking those days off. Being at work will distract you from missing him and feeling the loneliness rather than sitting at home moping around.

i was thinking the very same thing...lol..hey...get outta my head...lmao...my girlfriend will be here for a week...and i go back to work the day after she leaves..i did that purposely...so that i stay busy and not dwell on the fact that she had to go back..but...at the same time...i know everyone is different...not everything that works for me works for everyone else...

[churchgrim]

Working right after does make sense, but since I work at a cafe, I have to be really friendly with customers, since my job is 100% customer service. I don't know how well I'd be able to cope acting friendly and cheerful when I'm upset. There's also a fair bit of alone time when the cafe is quiet, where I have nothing to do.

Has anyone had a job working with customers where you need to be upbeat the whole time right after your SO has left?

[Lovestruck_Islander]

Wow well I bet you must be super excited to be seeing him for the first time! I found it so so hard to say goodbye to my SO for the first time and to come back home to reality. In fact we both hate saying goodbye so much, that last time we saw each other he told me he went back home and cried the whole way. I just mope about and genuinely feel miserable, but I get straight back into work and such and try to keep going. You've got to be strong enough to keep going. Also give him things to do whilst you're at work. When my SO visits me, I'm at work most of the time but I do encourage him to go out and do stuff

Best of luck to you guys!

[Haley53]

Has anyone had a job working with customers where you need to be upbeat the whole time right after your SO has left?

Yep. I work with students, so I'm pretty required to remain upbeat and peppy. I've never found it as hard as it sounds, being honest. In most cases, I'm thankful for the distraction and it helps that I absolutely love what I do. Socialising also helps keep my mind off missing my SO and surrounds me with much needed positivity. From three goodbyes, I have found it makes it harder if I actually cater to my upset, as while it definitely needs to be processed, there's enough time for tears during late nights; I don't need to be sulking around and exacerbating my sadness during my days too. If I were you, I'd swap after-visit days with during visit days (trust me, you're going to want to soak up what precious time you have), and if you're feeling like it might be a good idea, maybe take the day after for a wallow day. Other than that, however, I'd change your days off and use them all for when he's going to be there. It's not only going to be better for you while you're with your SO, but it's likely to be better for you after he leaves as well. Like I said, sitting and wallowing often only makes it worse. Having something to do is probably some of the best ways I have found to cope with being in a LDR and having to say goodbye.

Congratulations on the visit!

[churchgrim]

Ah, all of that does make sense. I guess I'll swap a few days around then. I'll certainly appreciate the extra time with him, and I suppose going back to work full time will help me adjust faster to not having him around.

Thankyou so much for your input everyone, I really appreciate it. I'll see about making a little list of things for him to see and do while I'm working, though my city doesn't have as much to do post-quake. I'm sure there's a lot of things he'd enjoy though.

[Verojoon]

I think it's good you get to experience both vacation time and real-life working time with your SO! My SO and I discussed that, how we have had 3 wonderful vacations together, but that we have never actually lived real life physically together (I mean we deal with real life every day from a distance... but it is not the same!!)

[churchgrim]

I think it's good you get to experience both vacation time and real-life working time with your SO! My SO and I discussed that, how we have had 3 wonderful vacations together, but that we have never actually lived real life physically together (I mean we deal with real life every day from a distance... but it is not the same!!)

Yeah, I definitely agree. Obviously it's not quite the same since he won't be working as well, but it helps give the idea of what living with each other will be like.
When I go over there, I'd definitely want him to keep working, though of course a little time off would be appreciated.